“You know, I’ve a doxy specimen from Alaska at home that’s this big, if you can believe it,” Hadrian said, holding his hands apart to illustrate its excitingly unusual size. “I named him Bigfoot.” He had started off speaking conversationally to his neighbours, because he didn’t see why they couldn’t, if they were not conferring – but then again, he had never entered a potion brewing competition before, so he was just assuming.

And he was not very good at doing things quietly, to be honest. And because he thought Zygmunt Budge’s directions a little uninspired and outdated, he chose to add some Bundimun fungus along with the acid, and wasted some time mashing the dragon liver up into a smooth, gloopy substance rather than merely chopped – and did they have any tentacula leaves here to use? And was that time already? Interesting.

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