No, of course not. He wasn’t going to tell her anything else. He was looking at her, but everything about him was closed off – in that moment, Jemima could hardly recognise him.
Or she had just never known him at all. A few minutes ago, she had been ready to do all of those things, and she was still sure they were justified; only now his words struck her like a slap in the face. Her chest rose and fell, heaving out a shuddering breath, some last lingering edge of hysteria – but she had had enough of this now. There was nothing else he would give her; there was no worse this could get.
So Jemima just shook her head, feeling as small as she felt anguished. “I wanted – so badly – to like you, Ford,” she spat out, wishing it sounded fiercer, less desperate than it did. But he had made that impossible: she didn’t want to spend a second longer alone with him, she couldn’t bear to be in here – face crumpling, she turned for the door. The hallway between them didn’t feel like enough.
Or she had just never known him at all. A few minutes ago, she had been ready to do all of those things, and she was still sure they were justified; only now his words struck her like a slap in the face. Her chest rose and fell, heaving out a shuddering breath, some last lingering edge of hysteria – but she had had enough of this now. There was nothing else he would give her; there was no worse this could get.
So Jemima just shook her head, feeling as small as she felt anguished. “I wanted – so badly – to like you, Ford,” she spat out, wishing it sounded fiercer, less desperate than it did. But he had made that impossible: she didn’t want to spend a second longer alone with him, she couldn’t bear to be in here – face crumpling, she turned for the door. The hallway between them didn’t feel like enough.
