Cash mulled over that for a beat, and softly moved his spoon in the remaining broth. ”I need to — change the way my body feels, sometimes,” he admitted. He had never thought about it quite like that, but he knew it to be true once he put it into words. ”So that’s — fidgeting with something. Flying. Smoking.”

He had never felt as much like himself as he did when he was in the air.

”Drinking, but only sometimes. Sex.” His mouth twisted at the last word, because he and Ford actually did not talk about this that often, but he wasn’t thinking of sex with Adrienne. The times he’d visited her bedroom off-schedule he’d been chasing the feeling he got when he visited Theo in his office. And even though he and Theo had never quite gone there, it still wasn’t the same.