Last night had been harder to take than the night before. The first night she had been full of fresh determination to get her life together, to get her head sorted and to force her life back into its normal rhythm. The second night, even though she was exhausted from cleaning her flat, the greenhouse and the workshop in the basement, she hadn't been able to settle until well past midnight, long after the sleeping potion should have taken effect. Even a few hours sleep was better than nothing. She just couldn't succumb to everything that had pulled her down last time. She could do this.

After a full day in the shop today and dinner at her parents' Daff could feel the exhaustion in her limbs. That was good. She could have a little tea to help her relax even more. Bea was curled up in her lap and Daff was trying to read, but her thoughts kept wandering. She watched as another carnation popped into existence into the second vase now sitting on the mantle. Daff bit her lip. It had been a couple of days now, enough time for everyone to cool off, but Daff couldn't bring herself to pop by the workshop. What had never taken a conscious effort, just a whim and a wand, now stopped her every time. Would she ever have that same carefree feeling of showing up unannounced? The thought of it being tainted made her chest ache, but she knew it would never be the same.

Another carnation had her crossing the room to her little desk. Gently she folded down the front, setting it up to stay as she sat down on the edge of the seat before it. Unsure, she pulled out some parchment and a quill, but the nub of the quill sat poised above the clean expanse of parchment without touching it. What on Earth was she going to write? It had been ages since she'd sat down to write to Elias, replacing correspondence for his consistent presence in her life and now what? She'd mess it all up. How did she fix it?

Frustrated she threw the quill down and ran her hand over her face and through her hair. Keeping herself busy during the day was easy enough, always had been, but when it was quiet and she was alone with her thoughts (another carnation) she struggled to figure out what to do. Ansty now she stood again, pacing a small circle near her desk. Maybe she should call it a night. Some sleep would help with the clarity, if she could get any.