Every time he saw Dionisia she said something akin to it's been too long, and every time it caused a pang of guilt. He had been busy, he thought, and had too many other things going on — but then he wondered if that was really true, or if the divide was more of a fundamental one than that. Did Dionisia simply want him to be more involved than he had ever been, even at the beginning? Ben had always had his reservations about seeing Elliott. It always felt selfish, like something he was doing only for his benefit that could at best help no one else, and was quite likely to backfire splendidly at some point. He wondered if she thought of it the same way — something selfish that she was doing for her own peace of mind — or if she thought Elliott really gained anything from his time spent interacting with Ben. Neither really seemed right to him. He didn't think Elliott was old enough to remember much of their occasional meetings, and since he already had a loving and involved father there wasn't a gap in his life that needed Ben to step in and fill it. On the other hand, if it was selfish, what did Dionisia gain from it?

"Good to see you, too," he said, and decided not to touch the other half. "Did you enjoy your holidays?"

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