He let out a slow breath. It was enlightening to hear all this, but it didn’t feel – well, it didn’t feel good. If anything, Theo felt a little numb from the newfound understanding. There were people Cash had lost whom he had loved, with whom he would have traded places; he felt guilty for living, and trapped just being tethered here to people, so the lure of leaving was clearly strong. As if that would rectify anything, balance fate out. As if he could be with them again.
He took up Cash’s hand in his and absently threaded their fingers together, as much for his own comfort as anything. “Hey,” Theo said softly. “You deserve to live too. Don’t you think he would want that for you?” He suddenly felt a little like an impostor here too: ill-equipped to convince Cash of anything; not Eli Swan, not knowing what he would say. But if they had been together at the time, if Eli had loved him then, what else could he have wanted? “It’s not your fault.”
He took up Cash’s hand in his and absently threaded their fingers together, as much for his own comfort as anything. “Hey,” Theo said softly. “You deserve to live too. Don’t you think he would want that for you?” He suddenly felt a little like an impostor here too: ill-equipped to convince Cash of anything; not Eli Swan, not knowing what he would say. But if they had been together at the time, if Eli had loved him then, what else could he have wanted? “It’s not your fault.”
