The obvious answer was yes, but he didn't want to tell November that. He didn't want to say that because he didn't want her to think that he was miserable all the time. That wouldn't have been an entirely accurate picture, because he spent a good deal of time actively trying not to think about it, not to put it at the center of his life, not to let it bother him. He couldn't really say no in good faith, though, because it did touch all the different parts of his life. He had to expend effort trying to ignore it, because his relationship with Melody — and the impact it had on his reputation and how everyone else perceived him — really did seep into everything else.

"The worst thing," he said, choosing his words carefully. "— is feeling like it might never change."

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MJ made this <3

The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes--
The life still there, upon her hair--the death upon her eyes.

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She could understand that feeling, it was exactly what she'd felt ever since she'd last seen him. What if he never looked at her the same way because she was no longer the person he'd thought her to be? What if every time he looked at her all he saw was disappointment, dismay? Reuben had so much more on his shoulders than she did - most of it undeserved she thought - how his knees weren't buckling beneath the weight of it she didn't know. Maybe that's what he was saying now though, maybe they were.

It will with time, I know it. It was only a matter of time before people grew tired of making him out to be a monstrous libertine and there would come a time when he'd be known for the good, kindhearted man that he was. Provided his wife didn't find more ways to invite unwarranted scrutiny upon him. Even after everything you said, she paused at the distasteful memory of his words, I know you had your reasons to say it, I know who you are. No one can possibly know you without seeing how decent and good you are.

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Outfit | Tag: Reuben Crouch | Notes:

  

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There was nothing he could say to that. He hoped she was right, but there was no way to know; neither of them had been through this and gotten out the other side of it. Hope was all they could have, he supposed, at a moment like this, because there were no assurances that things would work out for the best.

With a lump in his throat, Ben took a step closer to her and reached out to wrap one arm around her shoulder. He tried to convey through the gesture everything he couldn't find words for: his gratitude to her for believing in him, even when he'd given her every reason not to; his hope for the future for both of them; his love for her, even if she'd asked so much of him in this conversation, with the letters she wanted him to keep.

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   November Malfoy

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MJ made this <3

The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes--
The life still there, upon her hair--the death upon her eyes.

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He wasn't disputing what she'd said but embracing her. Nova decided that this meant that he couldn't admit the truth to her in words - a promise or a feeling of obligation to someone else, likely Miss Finch? - but wanted her to know that she was right about him and the elopement all the same. She desperately wanted to know exactly what had transpired and what manner of beast the former Miss Finch really was, but for now this seemed to be as much as he felt he could give her. That was fine, she could respect that much; he was finally being honest with her and it was probably because he was as noble as she insisted that he wouldn't betray someone to exonerate himself.

Poor Reuben, he didn't deserve whatever had happened and he certainly didn't deserve the disdain of every member of society.

I am always here for you, Ben, please know that. Her voice was little more than a whisper, loath as she was to sully the tender moment with talking. Anything. Always.

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Outfit | Tag: Reuben Crouch | Notes:

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   Reuben Crouch

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