March 22nd, 1891 — Adinbury Estate

Her labour pains had started in the early hours of the morning, gently enough at first, a grinding pain in her lower abdomen. All day she had endured them, supping on cold tea and soft cakes to maintain her strength. Midnight have come and gone, and the pain now racked her entire body. She had thrown up on the bed sheets which had been hastily changed around her, the bed a tumult of linens, variously damp and wet with sweat.

Her forehead was damp with sweat, her hair matted and tangled from being thrown back against the pillow as the spasms of pain contorted her entire body. She was going to die she just knew it. There was no way this was normal, no way women could endure this six, seven or eight times to birth child after child and it be the way it was supposed to feel. Although the doctor, a man summoned up from London for just the occasion, had assured her that this was normal, that she was professing well.

At last she was told to push, bearing down when told to and at last the pressure abated and she slumped back against the pillows, the last of her strength failing her.

There was silence for the longest time, not a noise from the tiny body that had been grown within her, she couldn’t see much past the wall of midwives, nurses and the doctor that were gathered around the child, their backs to her She could tell something was wrong. Even the staff were not speaking, looking at each other, passing frantic glances. ’Does h…’ she started but her throat was dry and raw from screaming and the rest of the sentence was lost. Gwen swallowed hard, ’Does he live?’ she managed but her voice sounded thin and hollow to her own ears.

The midwives were whispering now, the doctor mopped his brow with a kerchief. ’Is it a son?’ she croaked. The doctor turned his head and nodded barely perceptively, and Gwen broke into a smile that the man did not return. ’Is he dead?’ panic tinged her voice and a fear unlike any other she had ever experienced sent ice through her blood.

No my Lady’ he answered and the midwife brought the towel wrapped bundle to her bedside and offered it out to her. She could see the towel moving. She pulled back the edge of the towel and her lost voice returned as a scream rent her lips.

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