An unsent letter, because where would he send it? Sophia was dead.
23 Nov 1894
Sophia
It's already been one month.
I don’t know if I’ll ever stop reaching for you in moments like this. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I relied on you so much for a lot of things, and now I'm not sure what to do without you. I'm here with your kids - our kids now - and feeling like I don't know what the hell I'm doing without you.
Charlotte looks just like you, especially when she's irritated and crinkles her nose. I wonder if she'll want to be a ballerina just like you. Would you be angry if I let her dance? I know you wouldn't expect her to be a debutante; hell, you might come back from the dead if I force that upon her. It's okay though, because I certainly don't want to be a part of the season, either. Julien expresses interest in curse breaking, and Cillian... well, I'm not sure. Given his blood line I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to write poetry. I'll support all of them, of course, just like you would have done.
She's holding onto Cillian like she's the only thing tethering him to this world, although I wish she knew that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. Or him. Any of them. Julien’s more himself than I thought he’d be, running around like nothing’s changed, but even he looks at me sometimes, as if to ask what comes next. I wish I knew.
I miss you, Soph. I miss you so damn much that I'm not sure what to do. You were my friend when I didn’t think I deserved one. You were my friend when I was a jerk and when I needed you the most. I can only hope that you felt the same, and never once doubted how much I loved you. One day we'll meet again, hopefully later rather than sooner.
I hope I'll be able to tell you all the wonderful things our children did, and what fantastic people they turned out to be. Until then, I'll always keep thinking about you so they don't forget you. (So I don't forget you.)
All my love,
Gus
![[Image: UkiVTG8.png]](https://i.imgur.com/UkiVTG8.png)