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Witch Weekly · December 24, 2020 – 8:25 AM

The Worst Christmas Gifts On Record!
If you were planning on giving a loved one a gift from this list then you may find yourself estranged by next Christmas! There are five days left before Christmas Day which is just enough time to rectify your terrible mistake.

A truly thoughtful and practical gift!

Invisibility cloaks. Of course they seem like a fine idea at the time, but as everyone knows, eventually an invisibility cloak ceases to function and what you're left with is a rather useless item that obviously was never designed for style. Unless the cloak you happen to obtain is certifiably brand new or a mythical cloak from a certain fairy tale, you cannot be sure how long it will last for. Not only are they exceedingly expensive, but it would be a great disappointment were it to wear out shortly after gifting it, or worse, be a counterfeit product that never worked in the first place! Not to mention it encourages mischievous behavior in the wearer who will surely feel emboldened by his invisibility. Consider instead a more practical cloak made of a luxurious and long-lasting fabric that will make the wearer want to be visible in it!

You shouldn't wish a live fire crab on your enemies, let alone your loved ones!

Fire crabs. For the witch or wizard who has a soft spot for magical creatures, please reconsider your decision to gift them a fire crab. Although incredibly beautiful, the fire crab will inevitably destroy the home and very possibly slay the recipient of your misguided generosity. Instead, perhaps give them a fire crab cauldron or a wall mounted fire crab shell depending on whether you think they'd prefer a practical or decorative gift. The other residents of the home will surely be grateful for it too.

Ever-bashing boomerangs. Your child, niece, or nephew, may suggest that one of these toys would complete their Christmas but I implore you to reconsider! Certainly you shall be rewarded with a minute or so of satisfaction as the child tries out their new gift for the very first time but that will be a short-lived minute! As the name so considerately tried to inform you, that boomerang will make its way back to the thrower and batter them relentlessly. If you wish to send a child to hospital on Christmas day then this is a perfectly adequate gift to consider, however I suggest you take a moment to ask yourself what brought you so low as to wish physical harm upon a child.

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