Note: This journal is magically locked and hidden under Cash's floorboards. If the locking spell is broken and the journal is opened, the pages will appear to be blank.

April 9th

Eli,

Does it count as writing to you if I point out that you would probably find this whole thing to be deeply stupid? I'm not going to ask Greengrass that because I am fairly certain that the answer is no.

You would be pleased with the magic on this, though — it's similar to the magic we had on our journals, but just for me.

I also think it's stupid that I can remember the magic for our journals but not how I got you back from Singapore. I suppose that doesn't matter either.

Cash

The following 2 users Like Cassius Lestrange's post:2 users Like Cassius Lestrange's post
   Angie Swan, Fortitude Greengrass

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MJ made this!

April 14th

Eli,

Here's something I remember: there were times we both liked Angie better than we liked each other.

I've been avoiding her. If I see her I have to tell her something about all of this, and she's going to be worried, and I'm not going to be the one who traps her in Britain. She hates it here more than I do, without you here. I think it's because she still lives in the same flat — she has to expect to see you pop out of your room and come into the kitchen every minute now.

Anyways, I'll talk to her. I can't avoid her for long or she'll think something's actively wrong, and she was worried when she first came back in February. So I'll talk to her. I don't know what to say, because I'm not telling her about the dementor and I'm not telling her to keep an eye on me, which means I have to come up with something else.

It would be great if you could offer advice except that you're, you know, dead, and that this whole thing is probably an exercise in futility anyways.

Cash

The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Angie Swan

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MJ made this!

April 17th

Eli,

Going to see Angie again tomorrow, so if I never write again, it's because she's murdered me.

(Note: pretending you'll notice if I stop writing has not actually convinced me that this is any less pointless. Does it count as trying at this if I complain the whole time? I can ask Greengrass. I don't know if you'd remember him, because I didn't really — you were the one with memory problems when we were in school, but now it's all me, big missing chunks of it. We've traded.)

Cash

The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Fortitude Greengrass

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MJ made this!

April 19th

suicide cw

Eli,

When I first told her you died I collapsed. Did you know that? She was the only person I told for a long time — (until Ford, I guess) — and she was the only person I told on purpose, and when I told her I couldn't do it standing upright. This wasn't as hard.

Sometimes I think she's the only reason I'm still here. I know I'm the only reason she comes home.

I miss the way things were when she didn't know I was crazy. I guess what I'm saying is: I miss the way things were when you were still alive, and I don't even really remember them. But all my friends know I've lost it now, so — I'm going to miss the way things were when they didn't know I was crazy.

Cash

The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Angie Swan

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MJ made this!

April 25th

Eli,

I'm going to tell you about some people you maybe never met, now. When we first made this plan Ford said I could tell you about things like this, so I'm going to.

Ford is, as you may have grasped, the person making me do this. That's a little rude because: I think he saved my life. I know he saved my life. He likes dead things and haunted houses and he uses a lot of exclamation points (!) in his letters, and he could ruin my life if he wanted to . Ford thinks he can fix me, and — is it stupid if I confess I enjoy our little chats in Black's, even if I know he's trying to see if I've cracked?

Anyways. I went to his sister's Coming Out Ball last night because he asked me to. She's sweet, sort of awkward, pretending to know more than she does about Quidditch and I can't tell if she knows I know or not. It's weird to see someone have a sister who's sweet, because mine are the furthest thing from that — Ellory's sweet, but Ellory's also one of the oddest people I've ever met.

I don't know where I was going with this. Good thing I'm not actually telling you a story.

Cash

The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Fortitude Greengrass

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MJ made this!

May 8th

Eli,

So I talked to Ford when he was drunk and

Do you ever feel like you know too much about someo

I think I maybe could have k

I probably would marry one of his sisters if I wasn't me

If you talk to someone when they're drunk and they don't bring it up, are you supposed to?

The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Fortitude Greengrass

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MJ made this!