February 6th, 1891 - GCR
Alice Dawson

After having been back at school for over a month now and things seemed somewhat back to normal, Alice's daily presence in her life had become increasingly evident and frankly Sloane hated it. She was kind of annoyed with Cam, because it was his fault, but she couldn't exactly blame him too much for it either. She'd kind of done the same with Sisse, though they had at least finally been able to move past it. Right now it didn't seem like Alice and Cam would ever be able to repair their friendship and for that Sloane felt guilty too.

The common room was fairly quiet, a sunny winter day outside had most people out enjoying the fresh air, but Sloane still had a mild aversion to being out in the cold for too long. She'd been recovered for almost three months now and she usually enjoyed the winter weather, but not this year. So instead she was curled up on one of the big arm chairs with Splash in her lap, working on some sketches for Herbology. It was homework technically, but she kind of liked this assignment. Call was much better at it, and Sloane would likely have to have her friend check these over before she submitted it, but for now it was kind of just like drawing for fun.

When the portrait hole opened, she had her tongue between her teeth in concentration, working on a bowtruckle, when she noticed it was Alice who came in.  "How does this look?" She asked without even thinking.

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Although she knew it to be a pain inflicted upon herself, Alice was growing increasingly lonely. Nearly all her friends knew by now that something was off once again within their group, but without the ability to address it she wasn't sure what else to do but avoid everyone. She could hardly explain what prompted such a terrible fight between Cameron and she when to do so would likely lead to serious consequences for Sloane. It wasn't Sloane's fault she cared for an insufferable arsehole, nor was it really unexpected behavior. Alice could've guessed at the nature of their relationship after the whole bracelet fiasco and been correct.

She didn't often linger in the Common Room nowadays, choosing instead to hide away in the library and anywhere else she might not be found. It was hard for her to remain at such a distance, though thankfully her late night conversations with Edison kept her somewhat in the loop. Today was different, though, as she expected everyone to be out in the fresh air.

Everyone but Sloane, that was.

Alice thought about feigning an excuse to not engage with Sloane. The seeker's loyalties were plain as day, after all, and she was in no mood to have to dance around sensitive topics. However, she also wasn't sure she could listen to Sloane talk about Cameron, either. Which left her looking towards the dormitory staircase with a hint of longing. Ducking into bed and pulling the covers over her head sounded great right about now. Still, she took the few steps to cross the room to examine Sloane's artwork. As reluctant as she was, Alice wasn't outright rude.

"Looks good," she confirmed a bit stiffly. "You might want to check with Calla, too. She would know better than I."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane lacked a filter and right about now she was tired of trying to use one that was already working in overdrive. "I didn't ask Calla, I asked you, because I'm tired of not talking to you." She was too. She had Sisse had mended things, and frankly, Sloane didn't have any problems with Alice, even if she currently hated Cameron's guts. From what Sloane could tell, he'd said some pretty stupid shit, which she knew he was perfectly capable of, this was not her fight. Yes they were "together," yes she cared a lot about him, but from what she knew about this situation, he'd been wrong. She'd thought to tell him as much, as gently as she could, but it hadn't really figured it out yet.

"I'm sorry he's an idiot." But he's my idiot, she wanted to add, but they weren't in fact alone in the common room. Sloane still wasn't sorry they hadn't told anyone, but she was sorry at how they'd found out and what had happened in the wake of the whole fiasco. It needed to be over, all of it and she was starting to think, some kind of confession among the group of them would be the only way to get it out there so they could move past it.

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Alice sighed. Of course, Sloane wanted to have it out now, because why wouldn't she? The dark cloud of tension had followed them around for months now, and it wasn't even Sloane's fault. That blame resided squarely upon Cameron's shoulders. And yet, he hadn't apologized — Sloane had.

"Please, don't." Alice said with a shake of her head. "Don't apologize for him. And, truthfully, it isn't something we should be talking about anyway." Both because of Sloane's involvement and the likelyhood of Cameron coming in at any given moment. "We're fine. Everything is fine. Let's just leave it at that."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane frowned. "Everything is not fine." And she hated it, loathed it, detested it with just about every fiber in her being. "I hate this." She pulled another face, pouting exaggeratedly. "Can we go upstairs and I can explain me, if nothing else?" It probably was not the best place to have this discussion as there would likely be some undignified crying or pleading on her end. Nobody really needed to see that but Alice. Alice probably didn't even want to see it, considering she had just tried to dismiss the entire thing, but Sloane was a stubborn little thing and she would not be swayed.

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Leave it to Sloane to force a confrontation that Alice would have been otherwise content to never have. She looked about the empty room for anything she might use as means to escape, but, naturally, found nothing. Sighing again, Alice shifted the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder and nodded. "If we have to."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane almost felt guilty about springing this on Alice. Almost. It had taken a near-death experience for her and Sisse to come to terms with what happened and she was not waiting for that to happen this time.

Gathering up her things, she hoisted them up haphazardly in an effort to be quick, but would have to reorganize before she lost something. Now that she'd initiated this conversation, she had to get her thoughts in order. Sloane knew what she wanted to say, but she was historically bad at expressing herself correctly that she really should have made notes. Too late now.

Climbing up the stairs to their dorm in silence, Sloane pushed open their door and looked inside, thankful to find it deserted for the moment. Setting her things down on her bed, she took a deep breath and fought for where to begin. "I'm sorry," For a lot of reasons, none of which were more important than the other really, and she couldn't pinpoint exactly what she wanted to apologize for right in this very moment, but it had to be a good place to start?

"I never meant for any of this to blow up like it has." She was sorry she wasn't a normal girl who paid attention to who her friends fancied or the dynamics between the boys and girls in their friend groups; that she was far more like that boys in the mindset that she preferred to keep these things to herself. She hated that this was causing a noticeable rift in their normally close-knit friend group. She was sorry that she appeared to choose Cam over her friends, which wasn't the truth, though she would almost always be on his side, she didn't necessarily have to agree with how he handled things.

"It's a giant mess and it's all my fault." She sighed, rubbing one hand over her temples.

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The walk back to their dormitory was, thankfully, silent. Alice didn't think she could handle any kind of ridiculous small talk in the few minutes it took to further climb the tower. But, Sloane had always been good about that, about not needing to fill the air with pleasantries. It was one of Alice's favorite things about her friend.

She dropped her bag besides her bed and sat crosslegged with her pillow on her lap. It became immediately obvious that Cameron hadn't shared his hand in the fight, otherwise Sloane wouldn't be here blaming herself. Typical but so disappointing in the same breath.

"Cameron throwing weeks of my help and insulting me has nothing to do with you." Alice replied bluntly.

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Even as she sat down on the edge Sloane winced when Alice spoke. She'd known Cameron had said some things he hadn't meant, had gone too far in some of his choices, but to learn that's how far it had gone was... disappointing. Still, it didn't really lessen her guilt in the situation "He said he had said things he didn't mean." To know now that was what he'd said, made the argument that much more real for Sloane. It also meant the chances of them reconciling were slim.

"Still, at the root of it, my lack of awareness of how everyone else felt is really what caused all of the problems." Had she known, maybe she wouldn't have chosen to say anything to Cameron and they could all at least still be friends, instead of a fractured friend group and the two of them alone on an unsteady island. Had she known Sisse had feelings for Cam and things had still progressed this way, she would have known to explain to Sisse instead of trying to hide it. Maybe they would have explained to everyone what had happened. Ugh there were too many what ifs and she hated it. Clearly she had made poor choices, but Merlin she just wanted to make it right.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I don't agree with how he handled it," Which was a little hypocritical of her, but she had learned from her experiences and she'd hoped he had too, by extension. "But I'm still sorry it happened."

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"Oh, he meant them." Alice bitterly bit back. She hadn't spent the past three months obsessing over the details of that conversation just for them to be dismisssed as a heat of the moment mistake. If that were the case, then he would've tried to at the very least approach her. But, he hadn't. The anger just festered and boiled until Alice began to wonder if they had ever been friends at all.

She tried to soften her demeanor for Sloane's sake, because really it wasn't her fault. Sloane couldn't have known how Sisse or Alice felt because neither girl ever told the fiesty Gryffindor. "That might've been the issue with you and Sisse, she really never told me about the fight. I can't say. But, I've known something changed between you and Cameron since this summer with the bracelet dilemma. And, honestly, I was more embarrassed to have crushed on him at all than I was upset by any thing between you two." In the moment of her fight with Cameron it was hot burning tears she wished to shed, but now she recognized her feelings for that they were: embarrassment.

"You and I are fine. I've only kept my distance because ..." Months of loneliness caused her to break off and look away sharply. How was it fair that Cameron was the one to have upset and hurt her and still Alice obligated to protect him? She took a deep breath and pushed on. "I didn't want you or anyone else to have to choose between him or me."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane knew exactly how Cameron could be during a fight, they fought more often than anyone else and she had been on the receiving end of some of his cutting remarks in the past, but he didn't usually mean them. It wasn't her job to to make Alice see that though. Cameron would have to do that himself if he cared enough about his friendship with Alice to make it right.

Though she had suspected maybe Alice had harbored feelings for Cam too, hearing it aloud for the first time was still mildly shocking. Sloane really needed to learn to pay attention better. At least Alice wasn't too angry with her, however.

Pushing off her bed, she moved to perch herself lightly next to Alice on hers. "I didn't want anyone to have to choose either, it's not fair. So I'm choosing both, neutral ground. I'm not asking you to forgive him untill you choose to, or not. I can't ask you to do that anymore than I can tell him to get his head out of his ass and apologize.
But I hate that we're so separated. This dorm has to be a space where we can all just be us, friends, without any outside factors." They desperately needed such a space. Sloane knew very well the need for her dorm to be her safe space when she'd had to avoid it for weeks on end.

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"Neutral territory," Alice repeated disbelievingly. The idea of allowing herself to be comfortable around someone who was attached to the former friend who had hurt her the most wasn't an easy one to accept. It wasn't that she didn't trust Sloane (she did) but she also didn't know where the boundaries lie. Before the fight, the girls would talk about their friends freely with one another. Would Sloane discuss her with Cameron? Would they gossip and laugh about how ridiculous she was?

(Maybe, she thought sadly, she couldn't trust Sloane.)

"The dormitory will be a safe place." She confirmed with some reluctance. A safe place for Sloane, maybe, but Alice wouldn't be able to truly be as she was before. Besides, branching out was good, wasn't it? Her friends would miss her less when she didn't return after fifth year. "Everywhere else ... not so much."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane got the impression that Alice was not fully on board with this idea and her final statement sealed that thought. What else could she do though? "Look, I caught pneumonia and almost died because I didn't think this was a safe space to be at the time." She didn't say that to guilt Alice at all, it wasn't her fault Sloane had chosen to hide in the trees instead of coming back inside, but the notion had dangerous consequences. She didn't want anyone else to feel that way.

"What do you want from me, Alice?" Sloane would do just about anything to fix things around here. She just had to know how.

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"There's nothing for you to do, Sloane." Alice protested. Just because they talked their side of things through didn't mean Alice was just going to act as though the past three months hadn't bappened. Nor was she going to be a fool and ignore obvious loyalties. She would support Sloane always, but it was possible to do so without sharing every intimate detail of herself.

She pulled her pillow tighter to her chest. "We're fine. I promise." They weren't, of course, not like how they used to be. "I just mean I'm not going to suddenly go back to joining everyone for meals and hanging out in the common room. Nothing can really change."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane sighed. She hadn't know what to expect, but resistance hadn't been it. Ugh. She'd been able to ease herself back in after she and Sisse had reconciled, it wasn't quite like it was, but it was better than the fall.

"Please don't lie to me." It was her one request, no more lying, no more leaving important details out. "What if I wasn't there, would that help? I legitimately cannot do this anymore." IT was so damn frustrating.

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"It isn't you!" Alice groaned with frustration. What wasn't Sloane understanding? The fight may have started about Sloane and he, but it had ended on an entirely different note. Alice had shared her personal study habits, had taken hours from her own day to help him, only to be casually discarded. It was despicable.

Rising from the bed, Alice stood near the post furthest from Sloane. "You can be there or not be there, it doesn't matter. It's him, Sloane. I don't want to have to confront him. Just as I didn't go to his house to his party. It's awkward and uncomfortable and, quite frankly, really insulting." She wasn't worth fixing the relationship with, she had gathered. But then again, Alice wasn't Sloane.

  

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Amazing set by Bee!