Cash looked at Ford, his eyebrows furrowed in obvious confusion. He wasn't supposed to lose Ford over this — he was supposed to lose Theo, and that was bad enough. He didn't understand why Ford was so angry about this. Why did it matter who Cash married? There was always going to be a wife, eventually — at least this one had interests. "I don't want this," he said, "I never wanted this."

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"And that's enough of an excuse?" Ford crossed his arms; he had too much nervous energy to let them hang by his sides and longer and he thought it he used them to gesticulate he'd probably end up pushing Cash sooner or later. "You didn't want this, so you might as well curl up and be depressed the rest of your life? And you're going to share a house with her. Bloody hell."

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Cash took a step back. There was a spark of something in his brain, and it took him another second to place that it was anger. Ford's family loved him; he was never going to get it. "Better to be in a house with her than a house with my father."

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The following 1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post:1 user Likes Cassius Lestrange's post
   Fortitude Greengrass

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MJ made this!

"For you, maybe," he returned. He didn't really believe that those were the only two options, but even if he ceded that point to Cash and pretended he really didn't have a choice about whether or not to marry her in the first place, that didn't absolve him. He was making a choice right now in how to play the cards he'd been dealt, and he was making selfish choices.

"Getting married isn't just about you, Cash." The fact that he had to say this at all perfectly illustrated how entirely unprepared Cash was to be any kind of husband at all, much less a good one.

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Cash pressed his hands harder into the side of his legs, hoping to ground himself, or maybe just remove himself from this moment. This was going so much worse than he'd expected. He'd tried to think through everything Ford could say, and he still hadn't conjured this. His blood pressure felt high, like when he was climbing higher in the sky on his broomstick. Easy.

"Do you really think so little of me?" Cash snapped, "I asked her what she wanted."

Miss Selwyn hadn't confessed to wanting anything. And that meant that he understood her — they could give each other what was expected, because she wasn't after love, or at least would not admit to it.

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"Oh, so you've talked to the girl," Ford bit back. He regretted it immediately, because it was both unproductive and needlessly mean, but he couldn't take the words back once they'd left his mouth. Even though he wouldn't have said them again, he didn't necessarily feel fully guilty about them. Some people didn't have the option to get married; it wasn't fair that Cash had simply determined to be unhappily married before he'd even begun.

"Fine, you asked what she wants, " he continued with a huff. "But you won't give her anything she needs. You're not even going to try."

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"And how do you know what she needs?" Cash retorted. He felt bad enough about this already — once she was a Lestrange, there was no going back — but Ford didn't know her. Maybe Ford didn't even really know him, he kept talking about this like it was a choice, like it wasn't a cage Cash and Adrienne were born into.

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"I don't. But I'm not the one marrying her," he pointed out. He knew nothing about Adrienne Selwyn other than her name and that she was, apparently, "related to a lot of people." He didn't need to know her well to know that she would have needs, though; everyone had needs. Getting married meant having a partner in life, or it should have. What was Adrienne Selwyn going to get from Cash in way of support? Cash couldn't even pull himself together most of the time. This reminded Ford suddenly of how insistent Macnair had been that he could be a good father while carrying on an affair. Maybe this was normal for people like them. That didn't excuse it.

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He rolled his eyes, even though it was immature. "You're acting like either of us have a choice," Cash said. "There are far worse arrangements for people like us." And maybe this was why Ford wouldn't get it — he would never arrange something for one of his siblings, would never find himself picking between several bad options.

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Had Cash seriously just rolled his eyes at Ford? Perhaps he'd deserved it for speaking without thinking a second ago, but it still struck Ford as ridiculously petty. This man was going to be married in a few short months. In a year, he might be a father. Fucking hell.

"You could have died," he said, his tone unchanged from the argument that had preceeded this remark.

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Cash frowned. "I'm trying not to," he said, tone more confused than it was irritated, even though the strain wasn't gone.

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Ford let out another huff of breath, and this time it seemed to take some of his anger with it. His chest deflated slightly, though he was still frowning severely.

"You can't just give up on being happy. You'll just end up —" Ford waved his hand at the woods, picturing the fledgling dementor. "But when it happens again it won't just be you. Fuck, Cash, you could have kids. You could get them killed. Worse."

Ford deflated a little more, his anger ebbing to a sense of hopelessness and guilt. He'd tried to do everything he could to protect Cash, when the initial incident had occurred. He ought to have reported it to someone. His stupid Hufflepuff loyalty, helping Cash survive this and hide it, had enabled this series of events. Ford was going to feel responsible if Adrienne Selwyn had her soul eaten because she could not possibly make Cash feel that life was worth living.

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Cash frowned. If things got that bad again, he wouldn't let it reach the point where he could hurt anyone else. But he didn't want to say that to Ford, who would certainly take a sentence like that badly. He didn't know what to say, because it was so hard to explain all of this — the family name, the Vow, Eli.

"There's someone I'm trying to protect," he said.

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This statement brought Ford up short. It took a minute for the full weight of it to sink in. He hadn't been hurt that Cash hadn't told him about the girl, because he obviously didn't care much about her. He hadn't even bothered to use her name when he'd brought her up. Whatever he was referencing now, though, was much more serious than the girl and his upcoming wedding. Someone he was trying to protect; someone he cared enough about to put himself through a chore of a marriage for; someone he was willing to wall off his future for. Someone important, and it had taken a conversation like this to bring them up. Ford and Cash had been spending time together consistently for over a year; Ford would have thought they talked about everything. Ford would have said they trusted each other. Cash had never even hinted at this.

Ford stared at Cash for a moment, feeling his perception of their friendship crumbling. "Well," he eventually said, almost reluctantly. "I hope they're worth it."

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Cash shrugged. Theo was worth it, but that wasn't really the point. The point was that a long time ago he'd decided that he wouldn't let anyone get hurt like Eli again, and — that meant he had to listen to his father. "There was always going to be a wedding," he said, "At least this way I got to talk to her first."

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Sure, there was always going to be a wedding. Ford wasn't naive enough to think that the Lestranges would have let Cash do whatever he wanted on that front; there was a certain level of societal expectations one had to conform to in order to remain respectable. But they were still young, and Cash didn't even like her well enough to use her name when he talked about her to other people. Surely he could have done better than thatI.

"Alright, Cash." The energy had gone out of his voice; he wanted this conversation to end if there was no chance anything he said would matter. "Whatever."

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