Emrys: Is this a good idea? Last time we saw Reuben Crouch he shot at us.
Elmer Macmillan: Which is why I brought... this! *pulls out pocket knife*
Emrys: What's that supposed to do?
Elmer: Well, you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Emrys: That it's... bad?
Elmer: Oh, bloody hell, is that what that means?
^ that was from Dirk Gently but all the rest of these are from Nice Guys which I watched last night, and it's super funny.
Ben: Marriage is buying a house for someone you hate.
Roslyn: Are you willing to find God?
Alfred: I'm just trying to find Zelda.
Ben: Can I ask you a question? Tell it to me straight, don't lie to me just because you're my brother. Am I a bad person?
Aldous Crouch: Yes.
Evander Darrow, to Alfred: You wanna know the reason I won't tell you? It's not the only reason, but it is the principle reason: you're a moron.
Kieran Abernathy: Let me tell you about my job. You drive around two days, spend half the time interviewing a bunch of shits, spend half the time translating fuckwit to English, and at the end all that's changed is that the sun has gone down twice.
Art: He asked me to do a job. I'm not gonna lie to him.
Emrys: And I respect that. That's why I'll lie to him.
Jules: What if someone's about to die?
Camilla: That's not going to happen.
Jules: Why not?
Camilla: That'd be national news.
Jules: So?
Camilla: When was the last time you were on national news?
Jules: February.
Zelda walks into the room, pulls a gun.
Alfred, putting his hands up: Zelda! Wow, you look amazing. How do you — how do you get your hair so pretty?
MJ made this <3