Cash took a step back, like the proximity made it worse. "I told you things I never told anyone," he hissed. Was it really so terrible that it hadn't been everything, when he had not been able to stand thinking about Lucius or the marriage? He knew it was terrible, in his bones, but — he had not wanted to tell Ford the things he hated about himself. There was something whirring in his mind, a kickstart of adrenaline, and Cash pressed one hand to the edge of the vanity to keep it from shaking. "Do you have any idea how hard that was? I know — I know I fucked up," he said, voice quiet, "— but I was trying." He told Ford about Adrienne before he told Theo. Neither had gone well, obviously, but it had been before.

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