"Now I know you flatter," Themis said, and it stung him because he really did not try to. Flattering would be deceitful. Maybe because of her uncanny ability to look inside of him, Samuel had been very truthful with her. He was not above lying. He had done so countless times for various reasons: big lies, small lies, consequential lies, inconsequential lies. But he had not lied to Themis, he thought, not yet.
As they were, with her leaning against him, he still could not see her face, she not his. Perhaps that was merciful. Her voice carried such a strain into her next question that he saw the expression of emotion that must accompany it in his mind's eye nonetheless. He chose his words very carefully: "I felt your magic making a connection. It traveled through my hands and my arms upwards. It was a very"—here he searched for a word—"particular sensation." If that was the right choice of expression, he did not know. "I felt it pulling at me, lightly. I cannot say that I was forced. It felt more like an invitation. I could have held back, or simply moved my hands to sever the connection. But I did not want to. I did what felt natural."
He said the last part with finality. It was the truth, although he omitted one thing. He was asking himself if the sheer volume of magic that his system had set free at once would have been the same without her presence provoking it. It was so highly atypical for him. Eventually, he would venture to find an answer to that question. But not today.
A house-elf appeared and was very distraught at the state of things in his office. Samuel felt slightly unreal. He let Themis deal with the elf and stayed where he was and said nothing, he just kept holding on to her. If that was for her sake or for his sake, he could no longer tell. He kept looking at the light that now fell through the panes of the windows, where the heavy clouds had broken. When Themis rose, he rose with her. They went to his rooms then, and he briefly thought how strange that was. He never took people into the places where he slept, if he could avoid it. Why he did not like to, he could scarcely articulate; it was where he tried to find peace, a difficult and delicate matter. But now, surprisingly, he felt that he did not mind. He was glad to be out of the office. These rooms were smaller, simpler, and more comfortable. It was warmer and less overwhelming; the colors were dark and muted. There were two armchairs, a fireplace, a small table, a chaise longue, some of his personal belongings. Two doors led further back. One to his dressing room. Through the entryway of the other, his bed could be seen. The prevailing atmosphere was one of austere tranquility—quite different from the rest of his quarters.
Samuel's shirt stuck wet to his back under his waistcoat; his hands were cold. At her request, he hesitated. Then, he pulled in the footstool that belonged to her armchair and sat down close enough to Themis to allow her to clean up the cuts on his forehead and neck. She would be able to tell, when touching his face, how feverish the skin there was. Permitting that felt like he was demanding a lot from himself. It occurred to him, sitting in front of her, that since turning from a boy to a man, no one had ever fussed over him like she did now. The tender kindness of the gesture touched him, and that exasperated Samuel. He could not help but avert his eyes from her gaze. He felt intensely vulnerable. But pulling away seemed at the same time so impossible that it did not even occur to him. It was perhaps simply too late for that.
As they were, with her leaning against him, he still could not see her face, she not his. Perhaps that was merciful. Her voice carried such a strain into her next question that he saw the expression of emotion that must accompany it in his mind's eye nonetheless. He chose his words very carefully: "I felt your magic making a connection. It traveled through my hands and my arms upwards. It was a very"—here he searched for a word—"particular sensation." If that was the right choice of expression, he did not know. "I felt it pulling at me, lightly. I cannot say that I was forced. It felt more like an invitation. I could have held back, or simply moved my hands to sever the connection. But I did not want to. I did what felt natural."
He said the last part with finality. It was the truth, although he omitted one thing. He was asking himself if the sheer volume of magic that his system had set free at once would have been the same without her presence provoking it. It was so highly atypical for him. Eventually, he would venture to find an answer to that question. But not today.
A house-elf appeared and was very distraught at the state of things in his office. Samuel felt slightly unreal. He let Themis deal with the elf and stayed where he was and said nothing, he just kept holding on to her. If that was for her sake or for his sake, he could no longer tell. He kept looking at the light that now fell through the panes of the windows, where the heavy clouds had broken. When Themis rose, he rose with her. They went to his rooms then, and he briefly thought how strange that was. He never took people into the places where he slept, if he could avoid it. Why he did not like to, he could scarcely articulate; it was where he tried to find peace, a difficult and delicate matter. But now, surprisingly, he felt that he did not mind. He was glad to be out of the office. These rooms were smaller, simpler, and more comfortable. It was warmer and less overwhelming; the colors were dark and muted. There were two armchairs, a fireplace, a small table, a chaise longue, some of his personal belongings. Two doors led further back. One to his dressing room. Through the entryway of the other, his bed could be seen. The prevailing atmosphere was one of austere tranquility—quite different from the rest of his quarters.
Samuel's shirt stuck wet to his back under his waistcoat; his hands were cold. At her request, he hesitated. Then, he pulled in the footstool that belonged to her armchair and sat down close enough to Themis to allow her to clean up the cuts on his forehead and neck. She would be able to tell, when touching his face, how feverish the skin there was. Permitting that felt like he was demanding a lot from himself. It occurred to him, sitting in front of her, that since turning from a boy to a man, no one had ever fussed over him like she did now. The tender kindness of the gesture touched him, and that exasperated Samuel. He could not help but avert his eyes from her gaze. He felt intensely vulnerable. But pulling away seemed at the same time so impossible that it did not even occur to him. It was perhaps simply too late for that.