November 2nd, 1890 | Hogwarts Greenhouses
Alice Dawson

Oh, let it rain, there's a little bit of something gonna happen to me again
oh let it rain, why am I the one that has the burden of the shame?
why am I to falter, why am I to blame?
when I know, when I know that everything's gonna be alright
just let it rain

Sloane could feel the tension in their friend group in her bones and she wanted to believe that she didn't have anything to do with it this time, but she knew in her heart that of course she was the cause, once again. Ugh. So far as she could tell, Sisse hadn't said anything about her and Cam to anyone, but it was obvious they weren't on good terms to anyone who paid attention. It was miserable to say the least. Not to mention she wasn't making any progress in helping Cam with Potions. That coupled with the colder weather and Sloane was just the slightest bit grumpy these days.

She'd thought she'd been doing well not taking it out on anyone, especially Cam, in their few rare moments alone together, but she was reaching her breaking point soon. Something was going to have to give and she didn't know what. Fortunately the warmth of the greenhouses was a welcome change to the rain that now pelted the panes of glass shielding them from the storm. Even though it was dreary and damp outside, the greenhouses were always cheery and welcoming in her opinion.

There was a small plot with her name on it for her class assignments and with Calla's help she had a few flowers growing too, but nothing impressive. Herbology was one of those classes she actually did well in without too much help, but mostly because she found it fascinating. She and Alice had been working in relative comfortable silence for a little while, when Sloane slumped down beside the wooden planks that served to contain her plot with a sigh. There wasn't anything much meant behind it, but it could have meant just about anything these days. "I'm not looking forward to walking back to the castle in this." She lamented, thinking the weather was a safe topic for discussion.

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The awkwardness between Sloane and Sisse was as obvious to Alice as the rain peltering the green house. This tension was unlike the yearlong fight between Cameron and Sloane as neither of them were the perfect lady Sisse was. Neither of them paid any mind for appearances or reputation. Sisse, on the other hand, had made her displeasure known much more subtly. It was in the stiff neck she maintained to avoid looking at Cameron during etiquette and the way they no longer had meals altogether. The meals were blamed on the timing, of course, but Alice knew better. She knew something unforgivable had transpired, what it was, though, she hadn't the slightest idea.

Which made working alongside Sloane mildly uncomfortable. The pair had never been close the way Alice was with Sisse or Sloane was with Calla. They were friends and, previously, Alice would've confided just about anything in Sloane. Now, though, she didn't know where to place her loyalties. Whatever the fight was about had made Sisse feel as though she was a bad friend. Sisse! The descriptor didn't fit her in the least. Not after three and a half years of steady, stable friendship.

She would've been content to continue working in silence, if only to spare themselves the awkwardness of this moment. But, Alice wasn't so callous a friend to outright ignore Sloane. "I know a few shield charms we can try," she offered without looking over at the brunette. The hole she was digging was just about done and if it was an inch too wide or deep her plant wouldn't root properly. (Or so said the book she was working off of.)

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Leave it to Alice to have a perfectly reasonable, succinct answer to her musing. Sloane was ready to give up friends altogether. Why was this so hard? Had Sisse said something after all? Sloane had to imagine if Sisse was going to tell someone it would be Alice. She wasn't sure if that was upsetting or a relief, but obviously Sloane was still not ready to tell everybody and their brother that there was something somewhat serious (what was a good way to explain it anyway?) between her and Cam. It had already blown up in her face once, she wasn't ready for it to happen again. Or every really.

Maybe she we jumping to conclusions. The situation with Sisse had her constantly overthinking every move she made. Every time she and Cam were so much as seated next to one another she tried to make it look normal, but it was really hard when it was anything but. They'd been far more careful since the argument with Sisse, tiptoeing around everyone, even one another sometimes, so as to make sure nothing looked any different.

Still, there hadn't been any other indicators that Alice was otherwise upset with her. It was a typical Alice answer, but Sloane rather thought that before all this nonsense are and Alice would have been chatting away this whole time instead of just awkwardly occupying the same space and tossing one-liners at one another in between long stretches of silence. Sloane didn't do silence well, even if it was comfortable. She was one of those people who would try and fill it no matter what and usually she could talk to anyone about anything.

Sighing more heavily this time, Sloane pushed herself back to her feet and went around the far side of her plot. There had to be weeds or something after could take care of too wait it the rain for a bit. Otherwise she would rather be soaked than stewing in frustration. Pretty soon she was going to explode.

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She hadn't anticipated Sloane allowing the conversation to lapse once more. Such quiet was so unlike her, but much of what happened throughout the past two months was unlike them all. Sisse now harbored a crush on Edison (a shocking revelation that had Alice struggling to redefine her relationship with the prefect). Cameron wished to be a healer, and Sloane was being quiet. Sloane was never quiet. In fact, Alice had on more than one occasion wished for Sloane to be quiet just so she could think for a minute. It was almost as though someone had taken the universe the group of Gryffindors occupied and shook it until everything became misplaced.

Everything was wrong.

Satisfied with the hole, Alice dropped her spade and glanced up towards Sloane for the first time that afternoon. "Are you alright?" She asked softly so that the few others in the greenhouse wouldn't overhear. Now that Sloane had mastered her meta abilities deciphering the different sighs was an impossibility. Then again, Alice never had had a true grasp on all the colors Sloane's hair would turn. Pink was the most obvious, sometimes red. The rest, though, she hadn't the slightest clue.

  

Having fully expected the conversation to drop there, Sloane had moved to water her begonias that were blooming nicely, already lost in her own head. It felt like the only safe place she had these days. Her dorm room was no longer a safe haven, no longer a place of respite, merely a place to sleep and keep her things. Even the common room didn't offer the solace it once did. She'd had the grounds for a while, but not it was cold out. Sometimes it felt like the damn locker room at the pitch was the only place she could breathe. It kind of sucked.

The question hit her belatedly, after she'd filled the watering can. "Yeah, I'm fine." It was halfhearted, probably not very convincing, but Sloane really didn't have it in her to elaborate. Not that she could anyway. That was the whole crux anyway. They'd agreed not to tell anyone, someone had found out anyway and now she felt like she was constantly watching over her shoulder. It was a strange level of paranoia she didn't want to have and it was probably exaggerated in her little fourteen year old mind, but honestly it was weird and she didn't like it one bit.

There was nothing she could say though, not without breaking her promise to Cam or to herself really and so she was fine, watering her begonias and just fine. 

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A sigh of her own pointedly filled the air between them. Sloane was, quite obviously, not fine, but they weren't on the best of terms for Alice to pry. Besides, it wouldn't be right to realign herself with the brunette, not so soon after promising Sisse that they were best friends. If there were sides to choose Alice would pick Sisse's always, but she couldn't very well leave Sloane like this. Could she?

Once she dropped the plant into the hole, Alice gently moved the dirt to surround it and stood to climb out of her neatly arranged plot. One glance out the window of the greenhouse proved the rain had only worsened over the last few minutes. Truthfully, Alice wasn't sure if the shield charms she knew would withstand such a heavy onslaught of cold rain. Much like she wasn't sure if her friendship with Sloane would survive the afternoon.

She wiped her hands on her apron and tucked a loose curl back behind her ear. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," Alice started quietly as she moved to kneel outside of Sloane's plot. "I know you and Sisse aren't on great terms right now. You're very obviously not fine, and you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, but you can if you do. I'm your friend, too." She finished gently but earnestly, warm brown eyes meeting Sloane's bright blue.

  

Sloane had resigned herself to watering her begonias and then packing up to sprint back to the castle. Staying dry was out of the question and she couldn't very well hang out in the greenhouses all day, especially if all she was going to do was brood over things and make things awkward with Alice. Hefting the watering can, she tipped it over her flowers just before Alice spoke next.

Unease flooded her system. Though Alice spoke generally, Sloane had no idea of knowing just what, if anything, Sisse had said to Alice. She looked up, wide-eyed at her roommate, concern and curiosity furrowing her brows as she paused her watering right after beginning.

She held the watering can tight in front of her, knuckles white, as she eyed Alice carefully. "Wha-what did she tell you?" Jumping to conclusions wasn't fair and so far Sloane hadn't any indication that Sisse had said anything to anyone and she also knew the tension between them was probably evident by now, especially to someone as perceptive as Alice, but Sloane hadn't decided just how she would deal with things if one by one her friends learned her secret.

Once upon a time, though she and Calla had grown up together, after starting Hogwarts, Sloane would have said Sisse was her best friend, but clearly that wasn't the case. It was obvious that Alice and Sisse were closer, just as Sloane and Cam were now, but she still wanted them to be close and thankfully, it seemed that Alice was still open to that, but it all now depended on what exactly Sisse had told her.

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"Nothing," Alice answered immediately with a confused stare. Sisse had obviously been upset, but the argument specifics were left as a generality. "She didn't tell me anything," Alice said again. When had their group become a group of secrets? When had the loyalties between them all become so divided? Even when Cameron and Sloane had fought for a year Alice hadn't felt the tension and divide as keenly as she did now. It was there, of course, but she hadn't had to stress about Cameron or Sloane being upset if she spent time with them both. Now, somehow, it felt as though she was betraying Sisse.

Alice untied her apron and tossed it to the side, a careless motion for one typically so neat and organized. She so rarely felt frustrated, but navigating these dark waters was new territory for her. Maybe Calla would have an idea on how to handle this all? Or Madeline? Someone who wasn't so intimately tied to the drama. Ordinarily, Alice might've turned to Edison, but having since learned of Sisse's crush her friendship with him was no longer as easy as it once was.

She sighed again, and glanced down at her hands before looking up once more at Sloane. "You used to talk to me," Alice stated without any accusation in her tone. The rambling letters about the bracelet and the subsequent fight over the summer were proof of that. "I don't know when that changed, but I hate it and I don't know how to fix it."

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Sloane visibly relaxed when Alice said that Sisse hadn't told her anything. It was easy to believe; Alice had no reason to lie. Sloane was doing enough of that (by omission!) for everyone these days.

The guilt crept in though. The fact that other people were catching on and it was frustrating to them wasn't what Sloane wanted, not in the slightest, but she still couldn't understand why Sisse had been so upset to find out about her and Cameron. Not all secrets were meant to be shared, even among friends. What was even more frustrating was that apparently Cam's feelings didn't matter at all on the subject.

"Please believe me when I say I really, really, wish I could talk to you about this." It was barely above as whisper, but Sloane meant every word. Alice was who she'd gone to about the letter debacle, who always gave the best advice, but she and Cam had promised and after Sisse's reaction, Sloane was terrified for anyone else to find out. Who else was harboring a crush on Cam she didn't know about? What other friendships would be ruined?

"All I can tell you is I don't know what do about Sisse. She found out something she wasn't meant to, something I can't tell you about, something that doesn't even involve her, and she called me a bad friend for not telling her. But I honestly and truly believe it's none of her business. I hate it too, believe me, but I don't know what else to do but give her space." Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to make a scene in the middle of the greenhouse.

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Sloane's confession did little to comfort Alice. That there was a secret so terrible neither friend could divulge it left Alice feeling afraid for the future. The chasm between their friendships would only deepen as time went on without a resolution. Tension and resentment would brew until finally there was no point in trying to remedy the situation. And then what? No, that couldn't come to be.

Still, Alice didn't understand how Sloane could possibly believe Sisse to be a terrible friend. "We've never kept secrets of that caliber before," she mused quietly. Alice and Sisse whispered their crushes to one another, but nothing had ever seemed so dire that it couldn't be shared. Sure, she had her thoughts about leaving school next year, but that wasn't necessarily a secret like this. That was understandable, forgivable really. For Sisse to become angry the secret couldn't be about school at all.

Which, admittedly, didn't leave much of consequence left. Boys, perhaps, but Sloane had never displayed interest in them before (the bracelet aside). Something to do with quidditch, maybe? But Sisse didn't care about quidditch. Merlin, Alice desperately wished to shout for Sloane to just tell her.

"I wish I had an answer for you," she settled on instead. Without more details Alice couldn't advise Sloane any which way. "I truly do. All I can say though is friends rely on one another. When you're ready to talk she'll listen, I'm sure."

  

Clearly she was that only one who thought, maybe aside from the boys, that every single personal detail didn't need to be shared among friends. "I give up," Nobody but Cam saw her side and she couldn't try to explain without giving everything away so what was that point. "I'm not even mad at her, my feelings are hurt that she thinks just because we were close that she's entitled to know every single detail about my life, but nobody cares what I think anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter."

She was tired of this already. It seemed like having something to herself, someone to herself, wasn't allowed and that was just ridiculous. A relationship between two people, that legitimately included no one else, was nobody else's business. At all. She could not fathom how everyone else thought they were automatically entitled to know such personal things. It made absolutely no sense to her.

"I just hope that some day she understands that it was never my intention to hurt her feelings. I just believe in a level of privacy than can and should be respected between friends and not get in the way of friendships. Boundaries are normal. You can be friends and not share every personal detail." Honestly, she really didn't think it was that radical of an idea. Maybe it was because she was the only girl among boys at her house, but they had always given one another space and privacy while still being available to talk if someone wanted to.

"So I also understand if you want to side with Sisse on the matter. I can't force anyone to agree with me, or understand where I'm coming from, but I did think we were good enough friends to be able respect once another's differences in opinion and still be friends." Unshed tears colored her words as she started gathering up her bag, stuffing the few things she had out so she could go find somewhere else to have this cry.

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A long silence stretched between them after Sloane stopped talking. Alice understood and respected boundaries, only she had never thought them to exist between the Gryffindor girls. They were a tight knit unit, each with their unique personalities and yet fitting well together. Whatever the change was, whatever Sisse had witnessed, was a new boundary, one none of them could have anticipated.

She nodded, first once then twice. The ground shook beneath their foundations, the first of what would likely be many cracks seemingly slicing across Sloane's plot. A permanent mark on what Alice used to consider a solid friendship. What, if any, boundaries was she meant to maintain with Sloane? What details could be so personal that a best friend couldn't know it? Alice had always been an open book, but perhaps that was meant to change now.

"Okay," she agreed without commenting upon any of the speech. Too torn between pressing further and sliding back to pretend as though everything was normal, Alice stood abruptly, not caring an ounce for the dirt stains on her dress. Dirt removal was a common enough charm for a lowly farm girl. "I'm going to head back to the castle. Are you coming?"

  

She knew it was coming, but the disappointment registered loud and clear. It stung, just like the argument with Sisse, that maybe she wasn't cut out to be friends like this anymore. When that had happened she didn't know and maybe she was to blame for choosing to enter this fledgling relationship with Cam, but it still baffled her to the point of giving up entirely. Friends choosing sides didn't look or feel like respecting boundaries, but Sloane supposed she would support her own words and respect their choices.

"No, you go ahead, I haven't finished watering yet." Despite the fact that she'd started to pack up, Sloane didn't think she wanted to head up just yet. She could find enough of a reason to dawdle and save them the awkward silent walk. She'd be soaking wet and would want to go straight to her bed, but wouldn't be able to, not with two of her roommates avoiding her. At least in the greenhouses she could be content by herself and stay dry for a little while longer.

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