24th January, 1890 — Somewhere in London
@"Caroline Delaney"

The dinner had been nice enough. He liked the hosts, of course, or he wouldn’t have come; but really he had founded his answer to the invitation upon the presence of Caroline Delaney, and Evander wasn’t sure what to make of himself for that. He had not yet dared ponder it too plainly, but he suspected Charity was to blame. He had a niece at home now to do right by, and things he had once let half-heartedly pass him by might potentially still be in reach after all. Or so he hoped. It seemed sharing his house with an eight-year-old girl had unsettled his priorities somewhat.

(And possibly even slackened his standards.)

They had had some time to talk, this evening, but the problem with parties such as these was the expectation of dividing one’s attentions between everyone present. And Evander had never been terribly good at vying for attention; he had not stood much of a chance. But now that everyone was leaving...

“Miss Delaney,” he began, catching her in the hallway with a tentative smile. “Might you permit me to walk you home?” She and her chaperon, naturally. In any case, he had left her plenty of room to decline: she might easily apparate (if she hadn’t had too much wine), or take a carriage or Floo home without any accompaniment or wasted time if she preferred. She would probably make her excuses that way, he resolved, carefully shrugging on his coat before he glanced at her again for an answer.

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   J. Alfred Darrow

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In the weeks since their last meeting Caroline had formed an opinion of Mr. Evander Darrow as rather favorable. She felt she had taken his measure well during their last two meetings and while he wasn’t precisely what she had come to England looking for, she rather felt she might get on with him well. Perhaps even find some happiness in their marriage. He had flaws, after all what man did not, as she had seen from the boggart, but they weren’t insurmountable. Men could always be changed, influenced by those in their lives. Indeed she had rather hoped to see Mr. Darrow at one of the many holiday events that had taken place, but she had not. It was, therefore, rather exciting when she received his letter saying he would attend this dinner.

The evening had been pleasant and Caroline had spoken with him a bit, but knowing the contents of his letter, she had rather kept her distance. Appearing to be occupied in an amusing conversation, laughing for his benefit across the room, making sure that she kept his attention on her while she appeared elusive, until she reached the desired affect and he approached her. She had almost begun to doubt he would, wondering if perhaps she had played her game too well, but as she made to leave Mr. Darrow caught up to her.

“Oh!” Caroline affected delighted surprise as a maid slipped her cloak on. “I should very much like that, Mr. Darrow.” She gave him a charming smile, one just for him, knowing her chaperon wouldn’t mind in the least. Indeed it would be a small bit of adventure to walk the streets, a breath of fresh air was so rare in the winter months. It would also have the added benefit of another delightful conversation with Mr. Darrow. As he had said in his letter, even, the boggart incident.

  

He had supposed he might have made himself a fool in his letters, in setting himself too forward or too plainly - but she had responded with such ease! Still, Evander had tempered his hopes this evening, seeing her in easy company with so many of the party, and he had wasted far too much of it in saying ‘after this glass’, ‘or the next’, and even after dinner finding little added courage.

But he had asked now, and when she said no he would have to look as though he had been going to walk anyway so as not to seem even more a fool! Why, walking was hardly the most sensible means of getting back to Irvingly; nor would walking her towards her lodgings have made any progress for him in that measure. If he didn’t have that excuse of a detour, well, then he would wander about for a time and call it much needed fresh air. (Not that the city’s air was ever especially fresh.) The cold would, no doubt, at least do him the favour of clearing his head.

It was with a brief burst of surprise then, that Evander heard her acquiescence. “Oh - oh! Well, very good,” he said, although it felt nearer to excellent. But he did not want to get carried away, and start sounding needlessly bombastic. He had seen her smile prior in the evening, of course - she had been quite graceful in everyone’s company - but this one had the effect of quirking up a corner of his own mouth (and got carried away with itself into a broader smile the moment he had turned instead to the door).

He gestured that she might proceed, and followed her outside, immediately thankful for the cool air in his face. It was not terribly late - balls and other parties finished hours later - but in the centre of London one would not have known anyway, for the streetlamps and the light from windows in conversation with one another gave the streets a persistent, eternal glow.

Now that he was walking beside her, however, Evander realised ‘companionable silence’ was not exactly likely to be the activity she was expecting, and so the pressure of finding something useful to say settled upon him. He went for a ordinary, if uninspired, compliment on the dinner, one which she returned, but then left the conversation at a dead end again. Merlin, and they’d barely made it ten paces!

“And how is your brother finding his marriage?” Evander inquired, falling back on the same excuse he had used to write a letter to her at all. Marriage did not in itself feel like a safe topic, even when it was securely someone else’s; but Evander was curious by some measure about her brother, when she had said in her letter that I suspect you would have a great many things to discuss together. What might she mean by that?!

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The look of surprise on Mr. Darrow’s face at her response seemed truly unaffected and Caroline had to refrain from a laugh. The poor man looked as if she had rather tortured him, indeed she must have played her part too well this evening. But the smile that spread over his features as they headed out had Caroline reassured that it was indeed a good sort of surprise for Mr. Darrow.

He was polite enough as they set off into the evening, her chaperon trailing behind them, their steps easily matching together. As they began down the sidewalk Caroline was grateful the crowds of the day had melted away. While the streets weren’t deserted and couples passed sporadically by them, there was an element of privacy around them. Caroline didn’t mind the silence, she had the impression that Mr. Darrow was not a man of many words, and she had half a mind to make it easy on him and allow herself to be the first to speak, but Mr. Darrow was the one who had asked her on this venture and she felt it only fair to allow him the chance to speak first. He remarked the party and it was with ease that Caroline agreed before they fell back into silence, allowing Caroline to further take his measure for a moment.

“Well enough, I believe. He has yet to return from Boston, but mother writes that the couple seem very happy.” Caroline a tad put out that Shawn had gone and married without her in attendance, but with the speed in which it had been planned she could not fault them. Besides, she had worried if she had returned home that her parents might not allow a return voyage. “Do you have siblings, Mr. Darrow?” It had occurred to her with some surprise just how little she knew of him something she had been hoping to remedy this evening.

  

“Good news, then,” Evander echoed, trying to picture the topsy-turvy scene marriage might make of a life, and being half unsettled by the thought. It was something to be overcome, he told himself, just a door to be opened. At some point. Perhaps not yet. There was no sense in getting ahead of himself.

He had little more to say on the matter without prying further - he certainly had nothing pleasant to say of Boston, little that he knew of it besides its unfortunate geographical location on the wrong side of the Atlantic - but he felt as though lapsing into silence again would be a sure way to sink this acquaintance like a lead weight, and sinking this acquaintance was the last thing he wanted -

If he had thought writing to her difficult - he had overthought the matter, undoubtedly - that was nothing to having to compose a conversation with the proper tempo and a pleasant flow. But before he could work himself into really worrying, she had asked him something. About himself.

Or, his family, rather. “I had a sister,” Evander said quietly - not meaning to be guarded when it came to a question that could hardly be classed as impertinent, but finding the words sticking in his throat all the same - “though she died some years ago.” He glanced sidelong at Miss Delaney, steadily enough, to assure her she needn’t apologise for it, and added, in a lighter tone, “And I have a brother, too.” A wry look crossed his face now, wondering how long she had been in the country, and whether it was long enough to have heard anything of his brother’s endeavours. “J. Alfred. You might know the name,” - he said it with a rueful air, rather than one of particular pride, suspecting this was something she might understand, “- an explorer; a sailor. He was thought to be dead, too, but... well, he wasn’t, in the end.” He offered her a helpless shrug to say I know how odd it sounds.

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Mr. Darrow was slow to start and the look he gave her was well interpreted, but Caroline would have been remiss in her duties if she did not at least comment on such a fact. “I’m very sorry to hear that.” Caroline demurred sincerely. She had lost three elder brothers herself, or rather, her family had. She could hardly say she had felt the loss as each had perished before she had even been born. Indeed the family hardly spoke of it to the point where there were Caroline often forgot they had even existed. Had Shawn not disappeared for years Caroline might not have been able to relate with Mr. Darrow at all upon the matter, but he had been presumed dead for long enough that Caroline had had to grapple with the death of her favorite sibling. “Were you close?” Curiosity urged the question forward, hoping her kind tone would favor him toward her impertinent question.

At least his brother was still alive. Caroline remembered when she first arrived in London hearing the name. Something to do with an expedition to Avalon. Shawn had been rather interested in the news story, although Caroline had been much more intent on integrating herself into British society, such adventurous thoughts based on already being in a new land. “I have.” She agreed with a nod as he continued on.

The look he gave her though, the shrug, she knew it all too well. How to explain such a complicated past. “My brother, Shawn, he too was thought to be lost at sea.” Caroline’s tone was softer for a moment as she remembered the loss she had felt then. But echoing Mr. Darrow’s lightness of tone, Caroline added; “It was hopelessly complicated explaining things four years later when he arrived home.” She gave him a conspiratorial smile as if this were a thing only the two of them could ever understand.

  

He inclined his head in accepting gratitude of her sympathies, and dutifully submitted to her question of closeness. “Perhaps moreso as children, but yes, we were,” Evander admitted, having felt Evelina’s loss keenly at the time, though it was no longer a fresh wound. She had favoured Johnny, he felt, and news of his presumed death had hit her just as hard. He paused and considered, for a very short moment, mentioning Charity having now lost Evelina and Evelina’s husband, and being in his care... but that felt like too enormous an issue to tackle, just yet.

Instead, he let her react to the brother issue first, preparing himself for whatever was to come of it - and almost relaxing the moment he remembered, just as she said it herself, that for once, it was not an impossible situation to imagine. Which meant she knew what it meant to lose someone; she had experienced it for a time, though it had only been temporary. Then he didn’t need to find the words for it. Merlin only knew how he did, but Alfred knew better how to voice these things (Evander had heard it for himself, meeting Charity at the solicitor’s). Evander couldn’t possibly explain the sensation, even one he had felt time and time again.

“I confess it is not altogether often someone has quite so comprehensive an understanding of that situation,” he offered warmly, with a lingering disbelief at his peculiar luck. “But hopelessly complicated is a nice way of phrasing it,” Evander said with a laugh of quiet relief, allowing himself to bathe in her conspiratorial smile for a while, conscious of its rarity and worth. “It was sheer madness, I should say.” For the world, and for them. (Made worse for him by hearing the trials his brother had faced, out in the wilds of South America; made worse for Alfred, undoubtedly, by coming home to find out about Evelina and their mother’s deaths in one fell blow.)

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It was hard to picture Mr. Darrow as a child, Caroline found, glancing at the man. He seemed so serious, had he been serious then too? Had he cared for books or adventures or tracking down a wayward sister? Perhaps one day she might find out, but she wondered if she would be able to reconcile such thoughts with the man she walked with now. What she could picture was the grief at the loss of a close siblings. While she loved her only brothers Shawn had always been the closest to her. Her lighthouse amid the waves. She had keenly felt his loss when he disappeared. She’d mourned and tried to find a way to go on. It had been tough, but her family had persisted and so Caroline did as well. When Shawn returned again she helped him find his memories, which had been almost more painful than believing him dead. Knowing that he only was close to her because she indicated they had been at one point, not because he felt it. Looking at Mr. Darrow, Caroline summoned a sympathetic smile for him, shaded by the lamplight that fell upon them. It was tough to lose family, tougher still when you were close to them.

It was rare to find someone who so completely understood a situation such as their brothers, but here Mr. Darrow was, the first of his kind. Caroline chuckled, perhaps an overly simplified version of explaining such things, but she’d long ago found that people weren’t interested in the truth and dynamics of something, but how blithely one could deliver such a story, as if she hadn’t been affected in the least. “Perhaps.” She agreed with a cheerful shrug.

Caroline was not sure she would classify the situation as madness but she smiled lightly. “Indeed. My brother turned up in my father’s office with only half an idea who he was and hardly any memories of us at all.” Caroline’s tone was light, but the words still hurt. She hadn’t talked to many people about the truth depth of the matter. Tending to leave it light and cheerful and move on. “Even though he’d returned to us physically, it was months until he was actually with us.” Caroline admitted, quieter this time, her gaze returning the dim streets before them.

It would hardly do to put such a sad point on such a fine evening, particularly with a potential suitor such as Mr. Darrow at hand. So Caroline internally shrugged the manner off and smiled at Mr. Darrow again. “But come, let us speak of happier times. Tell me of your work.” While she might not be interested in such topics, it did always do good to appear interested in such a variety of topics. Perhaps she might even find some true interest in the topic if enlightened in it, she reasoned.

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   Evander Darrow

The next remark she made - a facet of her brother’s story - almost made Evander startle to think that perhaps his family’s situation had somehow been lucky in one sense, for as far as he knew Alfred had never forgotten his memories of home, or his family. Johnny had had the pain of losing his mother and his sister upon his return, but Miss Delaney and her family then would have had their delight at the reunion dampened by the revelation that the man they saw was not all there as they had remembered him.

She had spoken lightly of it, but that only spoke of a steel nerve that she must possess to have borne it. She had power over her emotions, then; could put on a brave face. (That did not surprise him, especially; little that he knew of her, Evander had never supposed Miss Delaney in anything less than control.) “I am sorry for that,” he returned soberly, quietly. “I cannot imagine it was an easy return for any of you.”

He chewed on that revelation for a moment more before she - expertly - guided the conversation to different waters. His eyebrows rose at her request; he had presumed the overview he had offered in his letters would have been quite enough for her, and that she would want to occupy herself no further with the topic of work. The corner of his mouth twitched. “You have an interest in the Ministry, then?” He inquired, trying to work out whether she was using the excuse of ‘happier times’ to think of something other than her family’s trials, or using the change of subject because she had any interest in his affairs. “Perhaps you recall I work in the Improper Use of Magic,” he added, a careful reminder in case she was not so thorough a letter-reader as he was, and smiled at her slightly, suddenly self-conscious of having her attention to himself. “What else would you like to know?”

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Retrospectively Caroline should have anticipated Mr. Darrow’s question, but she had not. Instead she found herself hesitating on why she would ask such a question. How to make her question seem of genuine interest while not lying persay. Caroline was quick to collect her thoughts, looking up at him, her answer ready, “To be honest,” Caroline started her eyes widening slightly affecting a look of innocence, “I am curious to learn of your interests. If it is a topic that fascinates you, I am sure I shall find it a riveting topic.” Caroline tentatively reached out to lay a hand on Mr. Darrow’s hand, in a silent apology if this were an overstep. She added, “Truthfully I have a great deal of interest in many topics.” Why should this topic not be one of them? She smiled up at him guilelessly.

“I do.” She echoed with a nod of her head, watching the light glance off his face. He had a handsome face, strong and determined, with eyes that always seemed to be thinking. Caroline found herself wondering what is was he was thinking of her now. Often it was easy to tell with the men she attracted, this man, though, he was more difficult to read. “What drew you to work in the Improper Use Office?” Caroline asked, genuinely curious. It did not seem a glamorous job, nor one that a young wizard might direct his career attentions at while in school.

  

He might have taken a moment to weigh up whether she was speaking sincerely about that or rather if her words were just a clever evasion of an honest answer - but Evander found himself summarily distracted from anything she was saying by her placement of a hand upon his. Instinct might have made him flinch in surprise, but he caught himself before he could and merely let his finger shift nearer to hers to assure her he forgave her, offering the lightest of presses to suggest that she had done nothing unwelcome.

The pitch of nerves somewhere in his stomach was rather unwelcome, but fortunately it was fleeting, and she had asked another question, unnaturally intent in her interest. Why she made him want to talk so freely he could not say, but he did not waste as much time as he might to prepare his answers, and just spilled into some sort of explanation. “Oh, I should not say I always expected to be there - I started out in the Department of Transportation, in fact, with the Floo Network - but from there I found my interests to lie in law enforcement. And of course there is a great deal more to the law than tracking down dark wizards, talented as Aurors are...” He did not want to begrudge Aurors their due recognition; but that office was not one he had ever dreamed of. Nor had he ever, for a single second, considered undertaking all kinds of foolish ventures in the footsteps of his father or brother.

“I am sure I too may have had aspirations of some higher role when I was younger,” he admitted with a short shrug - the Minister had perhaps been the only job he’d truly heard of at school, and the thought of telling people what to do had had its wild appeals to him as a boy - but once he had grown up Evander had been nothing if not measured in his expectations, and family and duty had always had to come before the job when tragedy struck. “But I have found myself quite content where I am, and thus have very little to complain about.” It was a secure position, and one that remained rewarding. The value of such a career was that he would have been well-enough established to take a wife years ago... though perhaps that he hadn’t as yet counted as a blemish on it. (Though it was not a question he could ask her directly, naturally, he did wonder whether Miss Delaney had higher aspirations still - or what sort of aspirations she had at all.) “Except that I fear I am talking rather too much again.” He added, biting his lip as he looked at her.

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The warmth of his fingers through her glove drew her focus to their hands. The silent assurance that this was okay. For a moment her sole focus was on that small spot where they touched. The sensation of fluttering tapped against her stomach, as Caroline ducked her head and looked down the street, withdrawing her fingers with a subtle quiet squeeze of her own before her chaperon could object to such a thing. It wasn't it was a new sensation, she had flirted with others before, but what surprised her was that she had felt it at all. Not only the small flutter of antcipation and excitement, but the calm safety of that silent answer and how much is assured her. She looked up at Mr. Darrow from under her eyelashes feeling rather shy suddenly.

As Mr. Darrow spoke she felt she could understand his measure a bit more. She smiled encouragingly for him to continue. "There is." She agreed. Aurors had always struck her as rather arrogant as well for a variety of reasons. There were a great many professions that were as dangerous and adventurous as aurors and yet they were so often overshadowed by this one profession. For instance ship captaining.

It was a shame that he seemed rather settled in his profession, Caroline thought. Yet she also wondered if perhaps all he needed was the proper motivation, perhaps of the subtle womanly variety, to influence him once again to higher aspirations.

"Oh no!" Caroline was quick to assure him, "I find it all quite fascinating." Indeed Caroline did, curiosity such as her's. "Do you find it very rewarding?" She asked.

  

To think, he had been worried about walking in silence just a short while ago, and now their stroll was passing by so fast he almost felt it slipping out of his grasp, and somehow he still hadn’t shut up. Perhaps it was only credit to her questions. Maybe she was just a good listener. If she was taking his measure, she hadn’t found anything to laugh at yet. And if he hadn’t taken her measure yet as thoroughly as he had intended, he did feel as though her presence was becoming more comfortable, as though familiarity could somehow exist hand in hand with nerves - each increasing gradually, by complementary degrees.

“Certainly,” he said earnestly, confident enough on the topic of his work and whether it remained rewarding. (Only a fool would find it not so; one did not require a wealth of outside audulation to admit such a thing.) Of course, one could find reward in any work if they tried hard enough; and he was not the sort of tire of things. The more accustomed one was to something, the better one might understand it, might make the most of it. Detail was rewarding, and repetition the way to improvement. To live for novelty alone was a fool’s endeavour; it was to only skim surfaces, and to run away from reality.

But he had no intention of preaching about it, and simply offered her a smile as if that could possibly say enough. “I should not continue to pursue anything that I did not wholeheartedly believe was worth the effort,” Evander said, his mind still on his work but looking at her steadily.

Having said that, he cleared his throat now and caught himself having looked a little too long, and glanced upwards for a brief moment as if to look at the stars (one could see no stars in London; the sky was drowned out by clouds of smoke and city lights) before he thought it safe to look again. “And you, Miss Delaney?” He returned, reformulating the question for her purposes. She had no career, obviously, and presumably no surprising aspiration there: a debutante’s career aspirations were rather told already. But that did not mean she did not have hobbies to pursue - and even a young lady whose family were in Atlantic shipping could no doubt acquire any number of accomplishments. “What is it you find particularly rewarding?”

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Mr. Darrow did not strike Caroline as the type to take a job he had little feeling in. Indeed, he seemed passionate about his position, so much so that it did not surprise her in the least that he found the work rewarding. Indeed, when he explained it as he had it seemed a great deal less dull then she had originally anticipated it to be. Even if she was still rather unsure just what his job entailed. Was it all paperwork or did he end up apprehending individuals.

Her thoughts were pried away from such speculation by his gaze landing on her’s. There was a very clear double meaning in what he said and Caroline felt her stomach jump a tad to hear it. She had not anticipated such a bold statement from Mr. Darrow. If she had any doubts of his intentions they were gone now. Caroline gave him a smile, ducking her head slightly in the process as any polite young lady might at such a remark. “Nor should I expect you too.” Caroline demurred, her eyes bright in the dark, very clearly having indicated that she understood this conversation, and she too felt similarly.

Then Mr. Darrow looked away for a moment and Caroline wished he might have been bolder in that moment. But they understood each other, she felt, there was little reason to doubt that now.

His question, however, took her by surprise. “I, well, it may be rather foolish to admit, especially compared to such work as yours,” Caroline began, her mind spinning for an answer. With anyone else she might have blithfully spilled out some expected answer, but with Mr. Darrow, she found herself wishing to tell him the truth. “But I found a great deal of gratification in supporting my family.” That wasn’t quite right, but she pressed on intent on explaining herself. “Back home my family is close. We try to help each other, but we also try to help the less fortunate as much as we can. I used to help my mother plan charity events and organize drives as needed. My mother always wanted the help, but my brothers -” Caroline spread her hands out, understandably her brothers wouldn’t participate in such events. “Even now I try to support my brothers as best I can. It can be lonely to be away from everyone, but when I first came to London it was for my brother Shawn’s sake. I did not wish him to be alone after his ordeal and so I accompanied him here.” Caroline’s blush this time was not affected, and she found herself looking down the street. Sadly things were beginning to look incredibly familiar. “It may not be the same type of rewarding, Mr. Darrow, but it means a great deal to me.” Caroline braved looking back at his face, finding herself swallowing slightly, nervous to know what he might think of such a statement.

  

Perhaps it was only the dark playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn her eyes were gleaming more brightly by the minute. Perhaps that was what happened the longer one looked.

But he had asked her a question, so could do little else but watch her sidelong as she spoke now, his gaze following the curve of her lips as her mouth moved, the helpless little hand gesture she made, the slightest touch of colour coming to her cheeks the longer she talked. He did not know exactly what to make of all this, but he could at least try to make an attentive study, and he felt - oddly - that she had come strangely more alive with this answer. There must be a great deal of truth in it, then, truth or feeling or something terribly sincere caught up in it all.

Which he supposed made sense, for talk had turned back to family. Merlin knew family was not always so easy to deal with - and Evander sometimes struggled to find gratification in it, particularly these days - but he was quite of the opinion that it was not something to be neglected. One had a duty to one’s family, after all. And he and Miss Delaney knew well enough to appreciate that that they had, naturally, given their real or imagined losses.

(And to think that he had been expecting something much shallower from her.)

“I must disagree with you, Miss Delaney,” Evander said, in earnest. “I cannot find any foolishness in that at all. I think it very noble, and very good of you.” (And that she was so committed to her family as to feel so strongly on the matter, enough to upend her own life entirely to look out for her brother - well, who could say that would not be an excellent quality in a wife?)

Here might be a good moment, then, to mention his very recent acquisition of a niece to his own household. Then they would see if she was quite so dedicated to supporting a family as she said... But that was too much, certainly, for tonight - especially as her chaperon seemed to recognise a building up ahead, and he didn’t dare leave the evening on a revelation like that. Evander was surprised to find he did not much wish to leave the evening at all just yet, but there was little enough to be done for that.

“And knowing how difficult anyone’s family can upon occasion be,” he added, instead, smiling at her more lightly, “I do admire you for all you’ve done.”

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Odd how she wasn't trying to only tell him what he wanted to hear, to charmingly keep the conversation flowing, enough that she had bared some small part of her soul to this man. She supposed it made sense, after all he had seen her deepest fear and seemed to have accepted her for that, so why should she not continue with the truth? Rather than a light and flippant comment she typically would have thrown into the air between them. But what startled her more was her complete attention his his reaction and the relief she felt upon his spoken approval. His smile was echoed in a soft one of her own. "Thank you Mr. Darrow." Caroline replied as she came to stop next to him, the steps of the Delaney townhouse before her.

"And thank you for walking me home." She added genuinely happy with the time they had gotten to spend with one another. Caroline nodded at the house behind them, indicating that they had arrived home. "It was the perfect ending to the evening." Caroline added sincerely. A carriage ride with her chaperone alone always felt rather a bit of a let down after an excellent evening.