April 27th, 1888 — Dept. of International Magical Cooperation

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
Maybe Ben had an overactive imagination, but he didn't like the sound of someone getting fired from the Auror's office for 'some stint of Auror bullshit.' There was just too much that could fall into that category that Ben wasn't really comfortable with, much less comfortable picturing happening to him. Aurors could already do all sorts of things that normal citizens weren't allowed to do, so what did you have to do as an auror that was such an abuse of power, they fired you for it? Clearly, this needed some investigating, and soon — certainly before he did any more messing around with Annabelle Scrimgeour.

Unfortunately, the average citizen did not have access to the Ministry employee files. Either Aldous or Roman might have, but asking for their help in this matter would have required 1) admitting that he needed help, and 2) admitting (or at least implying) that he had been screwing around with Annabelle Scrimgeour, neither of which he really wanted them in the loop on. The next best thing to getting the help of his brothers, of course, was pretending to be his brothers in order to help himself, which was what had seen Ben kicking around Knockturn Alley last week seeking a vial of polyjuice potion.

Roman would probably have been the more logical choice to go digging through old employment records, but unless he was going to poison him to keep him out of work for a day (which seemed a little extreme, even given the circumstances) there was no way to guarantee that he could navigate the Ministry without running into Roman, which would have gotten him in a good deal of trouble and brought the whole thing out in the open in a less than favorable light. Aldous, on the other hand, had to take trips out of the country for his job, which presented the perfect opportunity.

Getting a hair from a house that he had regular access to was no trouble at all; asking some casual questions about Aldous' schedule to the household staff wasn't much more. He picked a date in the middle of his brother's upcoming trip, so that he could feasibly tell anyone who asked he was home early — while avoiding, he hoped, any chance of Aldous actually coming home early and ruining the whole thing.

The hardest part was remembering to use this damn cane. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to be here long.

Open to: anyone who might be in the DIMC. Special invite to Charles Macmillan

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   Bella Scrimgeour, Blythe Fairchild, Roberto Devine

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MJ made this <3

"Mr. Crouch!" she called out, hastening her steps when she saw her target, a feat made easier by the cane that slowed his progress.

Elinor had been owling memos on the increase in chizpurfule complaints to the Department of International Magical Co-Operation for a fortnight now, but thus far had received no return in communication. Preliminary investigation had suggested the creatures were being inadvertently shipped in on the shipping boats from America, meaning there was only so much her bureau could do to stem the tide without the cooperation of Mr. Crouch and his colleagues. Their failure, so far, had been—in Elinor's estimation—the height of unprofessionalism, and she had been en route to tell Mr. Macmillan just that, having believed Mr. Crouch to be still away on business.

When the opportunity presented, though, it was always best to go straight to the top of the ladder.

"I have been eagerly awaiting your response on the chizpurfle matter," Nora offered by way of 'greeting', having caught up to the wizard. In another life, had her mother gotten her way, Elinor Goyle would have been far more like him than her present situation, but fate had plainly had other things in mind.

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   Ophelia Devine

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— MJ never ceases to impress ♡ —

Ben didn't recognize the woman who approached him, but she clearly knew who he was — or rather, who Aldous was. Which meant he theoretically ought to know her name, as well, or at least what she did. Hopefully it wouldn't come up. Reuben recognized the Ministry robes, of course, but if there was any kind of insignia or identification to be gleaned from her outfit other than the obvious, he was rather oblivious to it. He stopped, hesitating awkwardly, then remembered he was supposed to have a limp and leaned a bit more noticeably on his cane.

Chizpurfle. He knew what those were, didn't he? It seemed like the sort of thing that had come up at some point in his life. Didn't it have something to do with magical creatures? He seemed to think he'd dealt with them during the months he'd been working with the Walsh's farm in America, but immediately doubted his own memories. What could anything in Aldous' division ever have to do with magical farm creatures from America? If they weren't some sort of magical flea/tick amalgamation, however, Ben had no idea what they were, much less how to handle the chizpurfle matter.

"Oh, uh, my apologies, Miss," he said, hoping it was in fact Miss and not 'Mrs.' "I thought Macnair had already dealt with it."

Macnair was someone who worked for Aldous, wasn't he? Not that Ben had any experience with the Macnair in question whatsoever; the only reason he stuck out in his mind as opposed to all of Aldous' other employees was that he also had one of Those Family Names that people were just generally supposed to recognize. The only other employee Ben knew off the top of his head was Macmillan, for similar reasons, but he did know that Macmillan was more high-ranking than the average Ministry peon, and since he still didn't know what the chizpurfle matter was, he was hesitant to throw Macmillan under the bus by supposedly assigning it to him.

  

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MJ made this <3

Elinor frowned. Whoever this ‘Macnair’ was—and she had thought the only Macnair in that department was the useless one that had been shunted over to her own—had certainly not taken care of the matter and had not liaised with her about it!

“Given I wrote to you directly, Mr. Crouch,” she returned civilly, “I had hoped to hear some sort of clarification from you on the matter.” He had always been diligent in that regard in the past, after all.

“Particularly given that the issue risks impacting your department far more than it does my own.”

She was being terse, she knew, but this was her job, a fact which gave the witch a great deal more confidence than she might have summoned up under different circumstances.

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— MJ never ceases to impress ♡ —

Ben shifted his weight uncomfortably at her response, then remembered he was supposed to have a limp and hastily shifted it back, hopefully before she noticed. He didn't have time for this. He wasn't even entirely sure exactly how long a polyjuice potion was supposed to last, but they didn't drag on indefinitely. He had no idea where to find the records he was looking for, nor had he given much thought to whether he could try to read them here before departing or whether he would have to steal them in order to ensure he left the Ministry as Aldous and not as a Aldous/Ben amalgamation. It wasn't, either, as though he could task some secretary to go and hunt them down for him while he dealt with this, whatever this was. That might have been what Aldous would have done in the situation, but Aldous wasn't in this situation, and Ben didn't have any reasonable excuse he could give a secretary as to why he needed to review the file of a retired auror.

In any case, he certainly didn't have time to sit her worrying about chizpurfle. Whatever those were. With as apologetic a smile as he could manage, he said "You'll have to forgive me, I've been terribly busy. As I am now, unfortunately. Perhaps I could look into the matter this afternoon and write you back?"

Of course he'd do no such thing, but hopefully by the time she realized that he would be long gone.

  

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MJ made this <3

The purse of her lips and the look in her eye was enough to reassure even a blind man that Elinor was not pleased, but the difference in their professional status, unfortunately, provided her with little option on the matter. What could she do, demand that the Head of the Department of International Magical Co-Operation drop whatever sensitive matter he was dealing with right now to deal with her own concern? Nora was too pragmatic a witch to consider that even a vague possibility.

Still, he did not look busy, just as though he wanted rid of her.

“Perhaps an appointment would be best, Mr. Crouch,” she countered after consideration. “After all, I have two good legs—” a poor choice of words, Nora realized belatedly “—and a vested interest in the matter. Shall we say three o’clock?”

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— MJ never ceases to impress ♡ —

"An appointment!" Ben responded enthusiastically. Hopefully the relief in his tone was not audible. An appointment was exactly what he needed, because it would make her go away now, and of course he wouldn't be here at three o'clock to deal with the fallout of the missing meeting. He did feel a little guilty for ruining Aldous' professional relationship with whoever this witch was, but given the matter at hand — that Miss Scrimgeour had disappeared and might very well be dead, and Ben had no intention of ending up likewise — he thought it a small price to pay. Maybe if he remembered, he could tell the secretary on his way out that he had come down with some dreadful illness, which would excuse his absence at three. Of course, covering one plot hole in this scheme would mean exposing another, as Aldous might end up being questioned (politely, probably) about his supposed illness when he got back from wherever it was. This whole thing was turning into quite a mess, but it was too late to back out of it now. He was here, and since he was wearing Aldous' face the damage had been more or less done. At the very least, he was going to make sure he got what he came for before he left.

"An appointment sounds like the perfect compromise," he continued (that seemed like an Aldous thing to say, didn't it?) "And I'll be sure to review the matter before three o'clock. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

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   Elinor Goyle

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MJ made this <3

A compromise? It was not a compromise, it was seemingly the only way she could get this man to pay her any mind—a man who previously she had respected a great deal.

“Please bring along this ‘Macnair’ of yours,” Elinor returned before Mr. Crouch could escape. “I should like to inquire directly as to what he’s done to address the matter.”

And find out why Crouch had offloaded the situation onto someone who was clearly incompetent.

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   Reuben Crouch

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— MJ never ceases to impress ♡ —

"Of course," Ben agreed immediately. That poked a hole in his plan of pretending illness, since it wouldn't excuse Macnair from the appointment, but that was a problem for the people who actually worked here, not for Ben to solve in the next however-long-he-had before the polyjuice started wearing off. There was no longer any hope of trying to mend this up in a way that Aldous wouldn't hear about, he reasoned; whatever the chizpurfle matter was, he was certain to hear about it upon his return, as well as how he had 'promised' this woman a meeting at three o'clock on a day when he had been out of the country. Maybe if luck was on his side, this woman would prove to be the unreliable sort anyway and Aldous would write the matter off. At the very least, if they did determine Aldous had had a doppleganger, there was no possible way that the matter would be connected back to Ben — at least, assuming nothing else went wrong while he was here.

"Until three, then," he said, turning to go. It would have been more polite to actually say goodbye, but since he didn't know her name he thought that was too large a risk. Besides, he'd wasted too much time with this already, and was going to waste a considerably longer time wandering through the hallways looking for the file room. Particularly if he had to keep up this limp the whole time.

Oh, fuck, the limp. Ben realized only after he'd taken a few steps away from her that he'd forgotten about it, and froze up momentarily before he started walking again, this time leaning on the cane in an exaggerated fashion.

  

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MJ made this <3

She offered her own curt nod of farewell. It seemed the man was so intent on escaping her that even his gait had corrected itself—something some muggle doctor would have theories about, no doubt, but something that would not trouble Elinor in the long term. She checked her pocket watch before mentally inscribing their appointment in stone in her mind: she would not miss it.

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— MJ never ceases to impress ♡ —