— The —
Daily Prophet
Daily Prophet
Price One Knut
January xxth, 1889
Funeral Homes Wage Economic Battle
Humans Threaten to Sue Vampiric Competitors
Hogsmeade-based funeral home Amigone & Son has recently filed a complaint with the economic oversight bureau of the Ministry of Magic, stating that they are being driven out of business by vampiric competitor Spinnakers' Funeral Home. The business has operated in Hogsmeade since its founding in 1877, but may face closure in the coming year if they are unable to sustain their business model. "At least half the graves in Asphodel came through our doors," Mason Amigone, the founder and owner of Amigone & Son, said in a statement. "But we've got to pay our staff a living wage, and if we lower our prices any further, we won't be able to do that."
The term living wage was something of a contentious issue in the complaint filed with the Ministry, as Amigone claims their chief competitor for clientele isn't living at all.
Spinnakers' Funeral Home has been vampire-owned and operated since the current owner, Ms. Blossom Spinnakers, was turned in 1793. Since then, the organization has been known to employ several other vampires, and offers discounted services for those willing to trade their recently deceased relatives' blood.
Mason Amigone asked the Ministry to intervene and force Spinnakers' Funeral Home to raise their prices to what he claimed was a fair market value for the services rendered. A Ministry employee asked for comment seemed ambivalent about the issue. "There are other human competitors that the Amigones have to contend with," she pointed out. "And given the stigma of associating with vampires, or of willingly giving up blood, we don't believe Spinnakers' in a serious competitor in this field. Besides, they're located in London. This seems like a publicity grab from a business owner who just isn't able to keep up."
Ms. Spinnakers was not available for comment at the time of printing.
The term living wage was something of a contentious issue in the complaint filed with the Ministry, as Amigone claims their chief competitor for clientele isn't living at all.
Spinnakers' Funeral Home has been vampire-owned and operated since the current owner, Ms. Blossom Spinnakers, was turned in 1793. Since then, the organization has been known to employ several other vampires, and offers discounted services for those willing to trade their recently deceased relatives' blood.
Mason Amigone asked the Ministry to intervene and force Spinnakers' Funeral Home to raise their prices to what he claimed was a fair market value for the services rendered. A Ministry employee asked for comment seemed ambivalent about the issue. "There are other human competitors that the Amigones have to contend with," she pointed out. "And given the stigma of associating with vampires, or of willingly giving up blood, we don't believe Spinnakers' in a serious competitor in this field. Besides, they're located in London. This seems like a publicity grab from a business owner who just isn't able to keep up."
Ms. Spinnakers was not available for comment at the time of printing.
Gulliver Doran