The kiss wasn't enough. Emmeline even whimpered in protest when it ended up being far too short. And far too innocent. Her bottom lip came out in a pout even as she felt him tying with her skirts.

Breath caught in her throat again, she gulped nervously at his words. "I.. I don't know," she stammered, eyes wide, "It wouldn't be easy." And that was certainly the truth. She normally had to have her mother help her get out of everything she was forced to wear on a daily basis. It could be a bit of a disaster really.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

Her whimper for more echoed in his head as he pulled away and spoke, her words trying to play off the obvious desire for more.

In this moment, Charles was conflicted. He didn't know what to do. He wanted it as much as she did and his body was certainly acting as such though he had already told her he was going to make her first time special. This was not it. He could not go back on his word like that.

Though maybe, he thought, he could do a lot to - with - her without doing anything and that would be okay. Charles had come to realise the build up was as good as the act, if not better.

Walking his fingers slowly up her skirt, Charles rested his hand against the left side of her neck and moved to be practically on top of her.

Both of his hands were then planted either side of her head; their bodies pressing against one another.

With a devious smirk on his lips, Charles leaned in and tugged at her lip with his teeth before whispering into her ear, "I like a challenge."

It seemed he could teach her another lesson right now as well as push her to her limit before stopping.

The only questions were, were what the lesson was.
And how far her limits were.

---

  

Emmeline couldn't help the little squeal of surprise that left her when things were suddenly turned and she found herself flat on her back and him hovering over her. She grinned up at him just before he tugged at her lip. A shudder ran through her, one of pure exhilaration. That was new..

His breath on her ear and his whisper sent the small hairs on the back of her neck and along her arms to stand on end, bringing another shudder through her body. She simply hummed in response, quite interested to see just where the challenge was going to take them as she trailed her fingers up his chest. Her eyes fell from his eyes to watch the trail she made with her hands before locking onto his once more.

"I'll be an ever attentive pupil," she managed to say, doing her best to sound as sultry as she could but she had a feeling her innocence would betray her.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

He was certain she would be. She was always attentive and despite her body, her sudden gasps, and the way her fingers danced across his chest, she was still 'learning'.

That was it. This was the next 'lesson' of his. Feel what was happening and allow it to consume you.

Smirking, Charles pushed his lower body forward a little causing the two to push together. He could feel the rush of blood pulse through his body.

His mouth trailed down to her neck and he pressed his lips against her, his teeth pulling at her skin gently before he moved to hover above her once again; their eyes locked in their own sort of embrace.

"I love you," Charles said without thinking  as he leaned in to kiss her.

Just as he felt herself against him, he realised what he said and pulled away; clambering to sit to her side.

How- what.

His mind had begun racing. She'd already said it to him and... and now he'd said it. He didn't intend to. He didn't want to. Well, he did. But also he didn't. It solidified everything. Added more risk.

He sat there in silence looking at the wine. Merlin, it was tempting.

Fuck.

Emotions were weird.

---

  

There was no amount of skirts of fabric that could prevent Emmeline from feeling the pressure of the lower halves of their bodies being pressed together. She bit down on her bottom lip as a result as her eyes fluttered shut. She didn't really want to think, she just wanted to feel. Instinct, surely, would take over and would benefit her. Right?

A small gasp left her lips as she felt his teeth against the bare skin of her neck, felt her body tense just slightly at the mixture of emotions and feelings surging through all over. She could feel his breath against her and dared to open her eyes just as he looked to her and their eyes locked. And then his words hit her ears and she could hardly believe what she had heard. But just after their lips barely touched, a rush of cold air ran over her. All of her.

It took her a moment to realize what had happened and that giddy smile that had been on her features was gone in an instant. She sat up quickly and looked over at him, eyes wide with shock before burning into anger. She saw where his eyes went and that was perhaps the hardest blow. He'd said he loved her and then clearly panicked. And once again, his first thought had gone to alcohol.

She was on her feet in the next moment and headed out of their little secluded area without a single word. Damn him.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

Charles had barely noticed that she had stood up until he turned to where she was, his brows contorting in a worried and complex set of emotions that he could barely bring himself to describe. But he wanted to continue; he wanted to tell her he meant it. He just wanted it to be perfect when he first said it. That he didn't want the word to be wasted.

He did love her and in the instant those three words jumped from his lips, Charles realised he loved her more than a friend. More than family. He loved her as a man loved his wife. And that scared him. His entire reaction was based on fear of the unknown.

However, once his eyes had turned to where she had been sitting - Charles felt his heart plummet seventy stories from heaven and shatter in an almighty crash on the floor, exploding into a million pieces.

Where had she gone?
Why had she gone?
He wasn't running. He wasn't going to drink.
What... where was she?

Standing up, Charles looked around though the fog made it almost impossible to see. Walking where they had entered, Charles didn't think to bring the basket. He didn't care about that.

He cared about Emmeline. She was alone and... gone. She'd left him.
That hurt more than anything.

"Em- Ems?" Charles called out with relative quiet; a distinct quiver in his voice, "Emmeline, where are you?"

---

  

Emmeline hadn't gotten far, she couldn't really. Her feet felt like lead and her heart hurt. Everything hurt suddenly in that moment. It was almost as if she'd had her feet pulled out from under her and the wind knocked out of her. She could hardly breath, let alone walk. And when she did hear his footsteps, heard him calling out to her all she wanted to do was sob. And run. But she couldn't do either.

She did focus on her breathing, or tried to as she looked into the direction she heard his voice. "Just go away, Charlie," she called out, her voice cracking even as she said it, "Just go back to your home and your drink and forget about it all." She wouldn't. She couldn't forget. Even if she wanted to, she knew she never word.

That moment of realization that it seemed to hurt him to love her and drove him to want to drink had broken her heart. In one fell swoop, he'd brought her up to a point she had could never have imagined only to bring her down and shatter her into a million pieces.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

Go away.
Those words.
Those two words destroyed everything and his everything was Emmeline Woodcroft.
Those two words had taken a hold of his heart, ripped it from his chest and stamped it into the dirt.

He could feel his vision blurring with water, his gut heaving with hurt, and his head spinning like a tornado. He opened his mouth to speak but the words couldn't leave. He could hear the tear in her voice. He could feel it. He hadn't wanted it to be like this.

He didn't mean to upset her. Charles didn't know how to react to his emotions. He'd always pushed them into the back of his mind and forgotten about him yet Emmeline was so prominent it was only logical that the emotions he had come to associate with her were also prominent. She was important to him.

"Ems... I..." Charles spoke, reaching out to her. She was murky from the fog and he wanted to go closer but he couldn't bring himself to.

He wasn't even going to actually drink the wine.

---

  

Emmeline stood still in the fog, her arms wrapping around her frame as she held herself and did everything in her power not to start sobbing. This was stupid. All of it was so stupid. She should have known better. She had known better. She'd told Sherry she was likely to overthink things and ruin it all. And sure enough, there they were.

"You what, Charlie?" she ground out, the anger and hurt clearly evident in her voice even though she didn't move a muscle toward him, "You can't stand the thought of loving me so you look to the damned alcohol? Or is it just because you can't handle the idea of admitting something like that? Even though you know I already feel the same way."

She was surprised she didn't break down into sobs as she'd all but yelled at him. She did, however, feel the tears streaming down her face. "I can't do this, Charlie," she said, softer this time and the true hurt strong in her voice, "I can't keep being something that seems to torture you." Because that's what it felt like. That he was torturing himself just trying to be with her, to stay with her. She didn't understand it and she doubted she ever would.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

Charles didn't respond. He didn't open his mouth. He let her talk.
And as she talked, he felt every fibre in his body well and ache with... something. This wasn't pain even though it felt as if daggers were all digging into his body with each word that left her lips. It wasn't just hurt. It was something altogether different.

And he hated it.
This wasn't at all what she'd thought.
He looked at the wine in instinct.
He pulled away from the realisation that he did love her.
He moved away because the idea of loving her made it so he had to deal with his emotions.

Loving her didn't scare him.
It didn't hurt him.

His feelings toward Emmeline Woodcroft was not torture.
Charles Caulfield loved her and it was beyond reaction. He just... He loved her. He wanted more.
That was why he pulled away.

He wanted her to be his entirely. He was to be hers entirely. He would in a heartbeat.

Stepping toward Emmeline, Charles bit his lip hard; a distinct and overpowering pain emanated from his tear covered eyes.

He hadn't cried before, not for this reason, and he hadn't realised he had started though when he did, he rubbed his eyes with his hand and sighed.

"I... You don't torment me. I..." What could he say? "I do lo- I just... Emmeline... I..."

In that moment, Charles wanted to curl into a ball and die. He felt his legs buckle for a moment before he regained his composure and took a gentle hold of her hand, his voice quiet, shaky, and soft; "I do love you. I truly do. I'm just scared."

Admitting that was... worrying.
He hated himself.
He hated this.

---

  

Emmeline stared in the direction she saw him in, her own inner turmoil wreaking havoc within her. She was beyond hurt. She was destroyed and devastated. She knew there was likely more to it but once again she'd begin to overthink it all. Again. And now he was just as hurt.

She couldn't see it. No, the fog made that near impossible. But she could hear it. She could hear that tension and pain from him as he tried to explain then struggled to even say that word again. How could one Damn word cause so much suffering?

She felt the warmth of his hand on her own and then a sub wracked her body as she heard his words. She couldn't say anything, she didn't know what to say. Instead She just sobbed.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

Feeling her tremors as she shook in agony; the tears crawling down her face, Charles moved against her and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't care what he felt.

He didn't care if after this she would leave him.
If it would mean she would be happy once again, he would allow it. He would hate it but he would let it happen.

Emmeline meant the world and beyond to him and in the month or two they'd known one another, it had become abundantly clear that the feelings he had for her were very real and very strong. He didn't want to admit that. But... not admitting it made this happen.

Then admitting it made this happen.

Charles was torn. Planting a kiss on the top of her head, Charles couldn't form the words. He just stood in silence cuddling her.

He wanted this to be over.

---

  

Emmeline allowed herself to be pulled into his arms but it did little by way of slowing the sobs that shook her entire body. There would surely be a wet spot on his shirt from her years afterwards but that was the furthest thought from her mind in that moment. All she wanted was to understand why.

"Why Charlie?" she asked simply, "Why do you hold back So much but expect the opposite from me?" It wasn't fair and perhaps that was the biggest issue. She'd been nothing but honest with him. She'd told him everything he'd asked despite the fears of him not liking it. And though he may not outright lie to her, withholding truths was nearly as bad.

---

  

---

#LovelyLadySet

He didn't have an answer to her question and his own tears dripped down his face. She was right. It was hypocritical of him. He liked hearing her say it but when it came to doing the same, he'd freeze. It was unfair. He knew it was. He couldn't refute it and he wouldn't even if he could.

"I'm sorry," He said loosening his grip on her and taking a step back. He was going to have to be honest now. Completely honest.

He could no longer hide the truth. He couldn't take away from the topic. He couldn't do anything. He had to keep her. Whatever had just happened was too much. He couldn't lose her. He refused to allow it.

"I... This is... I...- I'll be more honest. I'll do an- I just..." Charles stammered as he looked to the floor, wiping his face once again.

He couldn't say anything properly right now.
He couldn't do anything right.

Turning his gaze back to meet with Emmeline, three words left Charles lips that he never thought he'd say, "Please don't leave."

And then another three came after a few seconds, "I need you."

His voice was exposed. Vulnerable. She meant too much to him to simply let it fall apart.

He loved her.
He wanted her.

Charles needed her more than anything.

---

  

Emmeline nodded silently though a frown was on her features as he let go and took a step back. Taking in a deep breath, and simply watched him as his inner turmoil seemed to rage on inside of him. She didn't want to interrupt even if seeing him in such a state only added to the ache she felt in her heart.

Another deep breath and she took a step toward him, bringing a hand up to gently caress his cheek.

"I'm not going to leave," she said softly with a sigh, "But I can't keep doing this Charlie. If you can't even be honest with yourself and how you feel, how can I expect you to be honest with me?" That was the biggest issue. She couldn't trust him if he couldn't be honest and she had trusted him fully. She'd already decided she'd give him everything she could offer but she couldn't do that if he couldn't do the same.

---

  

As usual, Emmeline was being the sensible one. She was being logical. There was a softness to her words that both reassured him and frightened him and however reassuring hearing that she wouldn't leave was, her next words were a bitter pill to swallow.

He bought his hand to take hold of the one she'd placed on her cheek and lowered it, taking a firm grasp of her hand. He didn't want to let go.

He didn't want to lose her.
He didn't want any of this to be happening.
Everything she was saying made sense; he wasn't being honest. He never was.

Charles was not the type to allow his feelings to consume him. He'd always just buried them and dealt with it but it just wasn't working this time.

"I know," Charles spoke quietly, exhaustion clear in his voice, "I just... I can't... What is happening between us is not something I've... be- experienced before. It scares me and I am scare-" Charles paused then and looked to the ground.

He couldn't tell her he was worried it would all get ruined.
He couldn't tell her anything because he'd already reassured her otherwise to put herself at ease.

Taking a step toward her, Charles tried to smile  as he placed his hands on her hips, "I want this - us - to work. I... I didn't want to say it because it holds a lot of meaning and I don't... I don't saying it to become a habit because it would lose meaning. I want it to be special," Charles' teeth tugged at the corner of his lip, "But you are special and you deserve better. I'll be better. I'm sorry, Ems. I... I don't know, I just... I'm sorry."

---