Good. This was good. This was progress, or at least that's what she was telling herself. It may not have been a good kind of progress, but at least he was... at least he was... well—maybe it wasn't that good, or even progress at all.
She was hearing his feelings beyond "I'll want you no matter what", and maybe that's what she'd been wanting to hear despite the sharp pain in her chest at his words. After all the pain she'd caused those around her, she didn't deserve that sort of unconditional affection. She'd hurt her siblings, her friends, Mr. Langley and all her coworkers, and by the confusing relief that followed the stinging pain, it became clear that she'd wanted to hear him admit that she'd hurt him. That she was hurting him—now. In a way, it confirmed that she'd deserved all the hatred she'd spewed at herself over the past few months. If she was hurting Mr. Gladstone—the sweet, gentle, pure-hearted healer who offered her everything in exchange for only her commitment—she really was a monster.
"You're right," she said, taking a cautionary step backwards, "you don't deserve that." It was far too easy to get out. She'd normally make some excuse—any excuse—for hurting him, but it was so easy to admit her wrongdoing. "I've led you along. I can't make you a promise. I can't. I-I just can't."
She started withdrawing back into herself, her arms crossing protectively against her chest and her shoulders hunched. She backed towards the door, a frown etched onto her features, until her leg hit a piece of furniture.
"I told you I wasn't the same girl you once knew." If she'd ever been the girl he thought she was, a question that was still debatable at best. "You need to—no, I need to—" she rambled, a sudden panic overwhelming her. She was in Wales. Alone. With a man, and not just any man—one who cared about her! She should have still been in bed at the MacFusty home, but she'd gone and been a reckless idiot.
"—go," she finally choked out, her arm waving erratically behind her until she found the doorknob. She turned it until it clicked, and then, with only a single, sad glance towards him, fled.
She would never see him again. She was sure of it.
She was hearing his feelings beyond "I'll want you no matter what", and maybe that's what she'd been wanting to hear despite the sharp pain in her chest at his words. After all the pain she'd caused those around her, she didn't deserve that sort of unconditional affection. She'd hurt her siblings, her friends, Mr. Langley and all her coworkers, and by the confusing relief that followed the stinging pain, it became clear that she'd wanted to hear him admit that she'd hurt him. That she was hurting him—now. In a way, it confirmed that she'd deserved all the hatred she'd spewed at herself over the past few months. If she was hurting Mr. Gladstone—the sweet, gentle, pure-hearted healer who offered her everything in exchange for only her commitment—she really was a monster.
"You're right," she said, taking a cautionary step backwards, "you don't deserve that." It was far too easy to get out. She'd normally make some excuse—any excuse—for hurting him, but it was so easy to admit her wrongdoing. "I've led you along. I can't make you a promise. I can't. I-I just can't."
She started withdrawing back into herself, her arms crossing protectively against her chest and her shoulders hunched. She backed towards the door, a frown etched onto her features, until her leg hit a piece of furniture.
"I told you I wasn't the same girl you once knew." If she'd ever been the girl he thought she was, a question that was still debatable at best. "You need to—no, I need to—" she rambled, a sudden panic overwhelming her. She was in Wales. Alone. With a man, and not just any man—one who cared about her! She should have still been in bed at the MacFusty home, but she'd gone and been a reckless idiot.
"—go," she finally choked out, her arm waving erratically behind her until she found the doorknob. She turned it until it clicked, and then, with only a single, sad glance towards him, fled.
She would never see him again. She was sure of it.
— MJ is MAGICAL —