It felt strange to have admitted that - to have said any of it out loud, in total honesty - since he'd never said as much to Elsie. Being in love was one thing, and saying that had an easy familiarity by now, but the rest of it? They'd never even talked about that. It had felt like a relief for these past few years, not to have to think about the future, but Tybalt would have been lying to pretend a fantasy of a happy future hadn't been growing quietly in a back corner of his mind. And Elsie wouldn't know that it had even crossed his mind.
She had a preconceived future all her own, though, a planned career and so on, so his eyes flickered up in haste when Elsie's cousin disputed that. She wants the same, she said. Tybalt wasn't sure. (He hoped so, but he wasn't sure.)
But he'd never find out, not really, unless he did something. And Mrs. Cavanaugh had made it clear: it was time to stop acting like children. He nodded along to show that he understood that much, but the question of how was a harder one, not a single idea softened by the champagne before or the whiskey now.
He'd quit. He'd quit, and he'd - find something else, some flashy, well-paid job in Ministry robes. There was Magical Games and Sports, he supposed, or Accidents and Catastrophes, or something else with transfiguration or potions or creatures or - Merlin, did he need good NEWTs for these things? Tybalt could barely remember the subjects he'd taken, never mind anything of them. And his results weren't... well.
But it was the change he had to make, there had to be something. If he made it through an internship, then at least he'd have something stable to show for it, could maybe make a proper suit to Elsie and her family without trying to like this, empty-pocketed and shame-faced. It'd only be a year or two until he was in a better place, someone with Real Prospects... And the season had just ended; was there even a more perfect time than now?
But if he... quit now, then... that was it. His quidditch career over. Already. He'd never get to play a professional game again. Panic wracked his insides, wrapped itself around his chest. "I get it. I just - I need some time to think, I guess. To - figure out a plan." He tore his gaze away from Elsie's cousin, pulling a face. Couldn't she just... tell him what to do next? Sort out his life for him?
She had a preconceived future all her own, though, a planned career and so on, so his eyes flickered up in haste when Elsie's cousin disputed that. She wants the same, she said. Tybalt wasn't sure. (He hoped so, but he wasn't sure.)
But he'd never find out, not really, unless he did something. And Mrs. Cavanaugh had made it clear: it was time to stop acting like children. He nodded along to show that he understood that much, but the question of how was a harder one, not a single idea softened by the champagne before or the whiskey now.
He'd quit. He'd quit, and he'd - find something else, some flashy, well-paid job in Ministry robes. There was Magical Games and Sports, he supposed, or Accidents and Catastrophes, or something else with transfiguration or potions or creatures or - Merlin, did he need good NEWTs for these things? Tybalt could barely remember the subjects he'd taken, never mind anything of them. And his results weren't... well.
But it was the change he had to make, there had to be something. If he made it through an internship, then at least he'd have something stable to show for it, could maybe make a proper suit to Elsie and her family without trying to like this, empty-pocketed and shame-faced. It'd only be a year or two until he was in a better place, someone with Real Prospects... And the season had just ended; was there even a more perfect time than now?
But if he... quit now, then... that was it. His quidditch career over. Already. He'd never get to play a professional game again. Panic wracked his insides, wrapped itself around his chest. "I get it. I just - I need some time to think, I guess. To - figure out a plan." He tore his gaze away from Elsie's cousin, pulling a face. Couldn't she just... tell him what to do next? Sort out his life for him?
