Meer didn't think she'd ever drank whiskey around him before; another thing that, given her family, should have been a red flag at the time. She paused. She shouldn't. But. She already felt terrible, and if she went home she was going to have to deal with Cass being concerned all around her, and Theo's tugs on her skirts reminding her that she was still childless and alone. So.

"Whiskey," Meer agreed. She stepped away from the door and let the office entrance swing shut behind her, finally sidling up to the desk to sit across from him. Whiskey it was. What did it matter if he judged her for it now?

---

  

Bax wasn't sure if he was relieved or terrified that Meer agreed to stay for a drink, but it was too late now. Now he just had to not make an even bigger as out of himself. He pulled two glasses from the cabinet behind his desk and set them out between them on the desk and poured them each a small measure before sliding one her way.

This shouldn't be so hard, but it was. What the fuck was he supposed to say now? Absentmindedly he also slid her file toward her, in case she wanted it, but he had nothing. Asking how she was seemed to be a ridiculous way to start; asking about the infirmary a reminder about having to leave here. "How's your family?" He managed after a pensive sip of his drink. Hopefully that was, at least a reasonable place to start.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Her family was as close as one could get to safe territory with Meer. She took a steady sip of the whiskey and drummed her fingertips against the file. "Theo's going to be three next month," she said, with a small smile, "He's all excited. And everyone else is - well, more or less the same, I suppose." It had been a little over a year since he had broken things off with her, and the Trelawney family was still trucking along, same as ever. "Still no babies for Sarah."

That was accompanied by a frown; if anyone deserved babies, it was Sarah. Meer glanced down at her drink and frowned.

---

  

Bax leaned forward subconsciously, forearms resting on his desk, glass of whiskey between his hands as he watched her. Fortunately his desk was big enough it wasn't quite such an intrusive position as it could be. Unable to help the small smile that tugged the corners of his lips upward, Bax found himself mirroring hers unexpectedly. Once he realized it, he quickly tried to swipe it off and keep a neutral expression.

I helped that her follow up statement was not nearly as amusing as the first. "Has she spoken to a midwife?" Bax was woefully out of his depth in that respect. Despite the fact that he had, indeed, delivered a baby in his tenure as a healer, he was by no means an expert. Miriam would be a far more likely source of information than he would on that subject.  

Pausing to give himself time to think, Bax took a long sip of his whiskey, nearly draining the small measure he'd poured for himself. "My sister raves about hers, I could find out the name?" Kitty was a mother a few times over, surely she would also have a better idea than he would.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Meer shook her head. "It's the husband," she said, with a sip of her drink, "Or he's gotten remarkably lucky in his dalliances. You know." She shrugged. This was not really any of Baxter's business - was not really her business - but if he had married her then he would know, and she saw no harm in telling him now. He was only a threat to her feelings; the Trelawney reputation could not be any worse if she tried.

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Bax winced at Miriam's blunt reply, though supposed he shouldn't have expected anything less. "That's... unfortunate." And it hit Bax a little harder than it should have. It was, indirectly, part of the reason he'd broken things off with the woman sitting across from him. Though he was confident he would have never gone that far, he knew he wouldn't have been one hundred percent emotionally committed and that was just as bad, in his opinion.

On the whole, the Trelawney girls deserved better and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Not anymore anyway and he still felt incredibly guilty. That was likely something he'd carry around for the rest of his life, but he couldn't say as much either. "I'm sorry." He said instead, for the second time in the course of this conversation alone; for what felt like the thousandth time over all.  

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

One of her classic responses was 'sorry means you change the behavior,' but she bit it back. "I know you're sorry," she said, "I didn't come here to make you be sorry." She hadn't wanted to talk to him at all. She drank a sip of the whiskey.

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"Of course you didn't, I know that." Bax sighed and took a sip of his whiskey. They worked in the same profession still, if in different locations, they were still bound to run into one another every now and then. It was complicated, but it could still be civil, he hoped. "Doesn't change the fact that I am. I can shut up about it, though." He shrugged. What else could he really do?

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

There wasn't enough whiskey in Hogsmeade to make this conversation less awkward.

"You did the right thing," Meer said, avoiding eye contact, "It's shit for me, but you did the right thing."

---

  

Eyeing Miriam carefully, Bax wasn't aware that she felt that way. Or maybe she was just saying that to try and get him to stop apologizing. Either way, he actually felt marginally better. It had been a long time since he'd moved forward the tiniest fraction in that respect.

Bax took a deep breath and another sip of his whiskey, struggling with what to say in response. "There's somebody out there better for you than me, Meer." He had to believe that. Somebody who wouldn't second guess himself or his devotion to her. She deserved better than a man who couldn't give her his all, one hundred and ten percent- and Bax knew he couldn't do that.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Meer's nose crinkled up; she didn't believe him, but it was too self-pitying to say as much. So instead, after a beat passed, she raised her glass to him. "I'll drink to that," Meer said, which was as close as she could get to accepting it.

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