May 19th, 1888 - Hogsmeade Hospital

Words we had to describe the same feeling
Now without a meaning

Saturday was probably a safe day to go to Hogsmeade Hospital. Any normal higher ups would be off for the weekend, which meant that Meer could very safely go to the hospital to request the original copy of her healer's license. It wasn't necessarily an urgent errand - she was very happy where she was at the infirmary, but she would rather complete it before it became urgent. The trouble, of course, was that hospital records were held in the administrative section, where Baxter Keene now worked. If only she'd been ballsy enough to complete this errand before he was promoted!

The secretary, or a secretary, ought to be in, but she hadn't caught anyone yet. This would be the problem with weekends. Meer had been waiting outside the office for several minutes when she heard the sound of Keene's voice coming from behind the door and swore under her breath. She couldn't be waiting for him when he came out. She couldn't. That was just... embarrassing.

The door was opening. Fully aware that she had lost all of her dignity, Meer ran for the door of the supply closet across the hall and slipped inside, pulling the door shut tightly behind her. Shit.

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Normally Baxter was not in on the weekends. He was making a concentrated effort to be more available for social engagements, at his sister's insistence and Odira's much more polite request, the latter the actual reason for his increased time away from the office. Being a workaholic was what Baxter did best, but he was trying to amend his ways for reasons.

Still things required his attention when he least expected it and so he was drawn into the office today to take care of a few things as quickly as possible so he could... probably go home and work on something else, but that was neither here nor there. Nobody had need of him for a social engagement today, so perhaps he may actually fins some time to pursue a hobby or read a book. Who knew!

After taking care of a few administrative issues and an unnecessarily long meeting he did not call, Bax was free to go and rather thought heading to the park for a walk would do him some good. Get out of the house, he was supposed to do that. He excused himself from the office as politely as he could and detoured to his own office briefly to leave himself a note for Monday, of course his associate followed him in with one last word and Baxter stood there for a moment smiling and nodding, thanking the healer for their thoroughness before ushering them out again. He was locking his office when he remembered Mrs. Parker had asked for a tonic for her cough and Baxter turned on his heel to the supply cupboard.

He knew right where it was, he'd grab one quickly and then be on his way, except that when he opened the door, he came face to face with Miriam Trelawney. Dumbstruck, Bax stood there slack-jawed and tried to think of what to say.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Miriam exhaled and pressed her palm up against her forehead in the darkness of the closet. This was ridiculous. She was a grown-ass woman, she saved lives. This was all Baxter's fault, anyways, so why was she the one who was so embarrassed that she ran to hide in a closet?

The door to the storage closet opened and Meer peered out from between her fingers to find herself faced with her ex-fiance. Now she had reasons to be embarrassed. Miriam took her hand away from her face.

"...Hello," she said. It was probably too late to keep her dignity, wasn't it? Yeah.

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Baxter immediately backed up a couple of paces, mostly out of surprise, but also to give her some space. The last person he'd expected to find in a storage cupboard was Miriam, but apparently the fates had other plans.

"Miss Trelawney," He greeted, almost gulped, feeling like more like a teenage boy than he had when he was actually a teenager. Was it always this awkward to run into someone you were once entangled with? Baxter was awkward in general and he'd been the one to mess up here, so perhaps it was all on him. "Was there something you were looking for?" She was a healer after all, she could have a perfectly rational answer for being in the closet, despite the fact that she didn't work in this hospital anymore.

Running a hand over the back of his head, a tell-tale sign of discomfort on his part, Baxter wondered just how quickly he could get through this, but he also wanted, on some level, to know how she was doing...

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Now it was too late for her to make an escape. She could pretend that the Infirmary super urgently needed a specific ingredient, take it, and slink off. But it was too risky that Bax would casually mention it, to Miss Prewett or someone else who knew Miss Prewett, and then Meer would be fired and disgraced for stealing ingredients and still not have the original copy of her healing license.

"...No," she said, "Well, yes, but nothing in here."

What had she ever done to deserve this? Yes, she could be an asshole, but she wasn't this much of an asshole.

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Baxter backed up away from the closet altogether to let her out and to give them both some space. She didn't need anything from the closet, but was in the closet... No he wasn't going to question it.

"What was it you needed, I was on my way out, but I can find somebody to assist if needed?" That would be easiest right? The coward's way out, but easy. No need to prolong this awkward interaction any longer than necessary after all...

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Miriam stepped out of the closet and sighed. "I need the original copy of my license," she said, "It should be housed in your office, but I couldn't seem to find the secretary."

They were supposed to be married by now. They were supposed to be married with a child by now. Instead, he'd broken things off with her, and caught her in a closet.

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   Baxter Keene

Oh well, that was an easy request, one he could take care of himself if he weren't being such a goddamn idiot about this. "Right, of course. I'll get it for you." It was the least he could do, since he was the reason that she'd ended up switching jobs in the first place.

Merlin he felt like a guilty asshole right now.

He motioned toward his office with one hand and turned on his heel, fumbling for his wand to unlock his door. Eventually he figured it out, like a bumbling idiot, and held it open for her to step in.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Meer glanced surreptitiously at his hand, and was surprised to find no ring there. She knew there was another girl - there had to be another girl - because otherwise... Well, what was she left with? A fiance who had dithered about marrying her for over a year, and now he still wasn't married, and maybe she was just unlovable and terrible. Or maybe it was her bloodline, Freya, although he had never paid that much mind before they were engaged.

She sighed to herself as she entered the office. It was so Bax that this was, again, like a slap in the face. She leaned against the doorframe and pressed her palms to her sides. She should have apparated out of the closet when she had the chance.

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   Baxter Keene

Skirting around both Miriam and his desk, Bax moved to the filing cabinet in the corner, knowing he kept personnel files in there. He had a better grip on himself with something to do and so he pulled open the right drawer and started searching through the files within to find hers.

The silence hanging over them was deafening. Baxter felt it weighing down on his shoulders, sitting there with the guilt over what he'd done. It pressed down on him increasing ferocity, but what could he do? Asking her how she was would be a flat out insult to her, but he would like to know how she was fairing. It was none of his business anymore.

He finally found her file, and pulled it out, laying it down on his desk to look through it. He started to look for her certificate specifically but instead asked, "Do you want the whole thing?" She didn't work here anymore, he didn't need to hold onto it. It contained performance reviews and other things he wasn't sure she'd want as a chunk of them were in his own handwriting...

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Meer folded her arms over her chest in a defensive sort-of gesture. She wanted to fidget, bounce on the balls of her feet, something, but instead stood still. If she moved around, he'd know that she was uncomfortable. He probably knew that she was uncomfortable already, there was a palpable awkwardness to the air, but that didn't mean that she wanted to confirm things for him.

"I don't know, what's in it?" Meer asked, and immediately regretted it. If she hadn't gone into hostile-mode, she could just take the whole file and bolt - but standoffishness and infused not only her posture but also her behavior, and she couldn't exactly take it back.

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Well that hand't been his intention, he definitely thought she'd just take it and run. "Ah, performance reviews, any shadowing you did. Your credentials." That was mainly it. She had never been disciplined as his employee to his knowledge, so that was certainly not in there.

"Take what you need or the whole thing if you think you need it." She already had a position and he would still serve as a reference if she were to move on again, but it was her information and she was free to do with it what she wanted.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

"Fine then," Meer said, still snappy.

If she had stayed, if they had never been engaged and she had never left, she could be running their old department by now. The thought struck her like yet another irritating freight train, and she tapped her foot against the floor. Meer glanced at his hands. Still no ring, which meant, again, that there had never been any point to any of this.

"I wasn't trying to run into you," she said, tone defensive. This was, also, true - in addition to hiding in the closet, she had diligently avoided entering a room likely to hold Baxter Keene ever since the break-up. It was as if he held dominion over anywhere north of Pennyworth, and she had Irvingly, and everywhere else was neutral territory. (If it were not for her siblings, she would very happily never enter Hogsmeade again.)

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Bax nearly winced at her tone. If he'd felt guilty, he felt increasingly so, the longer this interaction went on. He sighed quietly at her follow up statement. "I know, I know it's... inconvenient and difficult." He still felt like an incredible asshole, even now. It weighed on him more than she would ever be able to understand. The longer they went without seeing one another, the easier it got, but seeing her here, like this, clearly still angry with hi (which he did not blame her for, not in the slightest) everything flared up.

"I'm sorry," He'd said it before, and he'd say it again. Over and over and over until she either believed him or they managed to move past this, whichever unlikely end came first.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ

Sorry means you change the behavior, was on the tip of Meer's tongue, but did not make sense in this situation. There was no behavior for Baxter to change; there was only the two of them, and the well of history that sat between them. "I know," Meer said, and slumped against the door of his office. He was sorry. He was sorry, and that did not change anything, because the truth was that he had never loved her enough, but he had let her think so. And now she didn't know what to do with herself.

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The endless circle of apologies and feigned acknowledgement (neither one of them could seem to actually accept it) always left Baxter dizzy. Of course they didn't run into one another all that often and he was off for weeks afterwards, raking himself over hot coals for what he'd done and how he'd hurt her.

Watching her lean against the doorway, Baxter sighed, likely to regret his next choice, yet again, but it didn't stop him. "Whiskey?" He asked on a whim, reaching under his desk for the bottle he kept there. It was probably unprofessional, but this job was fucking hard. Sometimes it drove him to drink, as much as he enjoyed it, enjoyed the challenge of it, it could be downright miserable some days.

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I may never actually change this set by MJ