Emmeline couldn't help the raising of a brow at his initial words with a slight shake of her head. Did he not realize it was all knew to her, too? She knew he was experienced in other ways far more than she was but she hadn't expected him to have experience with what was happening between them. She was grateful he didn't. It wouldn't mean the same if he'd told another girl things similar to what he'd told her. That would hurt.

"And you think I'm not scared?" she asked simply, brow still raised with an incredulous tone to her words. He had to see that he wasn't the only one there in that situation. He wasn't alone.

Sighing, she tried to look up to him with a smile but she was still frustrated. The whole situation was frustrating and she couldn't just forget the hurt she'd felt in that moment. But she rested her hands on his arms after he'd placed them on her hips. She wasn't pulling away so that was something at the very least as she gently squeezed his arms.

"I don't need you to treat me specially or to be better," she answered, her tone serious but gentle, "I just need you to be honest. With yourself and with me. We can brave the unknown together. But I can't do it by myself and I can't do it in the dark."

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#LovelyLadySet

Charles could tell she was frustrated. The way her hands rested on his own as she squeezed them, the exasperation in her tone, down to the way she was looking at him.

She wanted him to be honest. He wasn't lying to her though he knew exactly what she'd meant. She wanted him to not hide his feelings. To speak to her about them. She wanted them to go through this together.

But he didn't know if he could do it.
His heart was already on his sleeve and he hated that feeling. He hated being vulnerable. Though he also knew that if he allowed himself, even for a moment, to lock his emotions away as he always did, he would soon find himself without Emmeline.

And that was worse than anything.

"I know," Charles said simply, "You won't."

He didn't know what else to say. Was there anything he could say? Instead he simply pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her, his head burying into her shoulder in perhaps one of the tightest hugs he'd given anyone.

He knew his tears were falling. He knew she knew. He knew she was angry with him. And he couldn't fix it right now.

Charles just wanted to forget about everything that was happening and go back to how they were before he'd... ruined it.

But maybe that was asking too much.

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That would have to do. Emmeline didn't want to give up. Not if there was some fight left in the both of them. She could see he hurt and could see how he struggled but he had to know how she felt about it all. As much as it hurt her to say it to him and see him hurt, it had to be done. She felt strongly about that. Non-truths could ruin everything. And as much as she hated to think about it, it was exactly what the issue had been with her and Mr. Whitledge. He'd waited until the most inconvenient of times to admit such a serious thing. She didn't want to risk losing what could be with Mr. Caufield. With Charlie.

When he pulled her into a hug, she simply pressed her face against his chest. There was nothing really to say in that moment, not as she let him just hold her. If it would be what was best for him to sort through his feelings and thoughts, she was okay with that.

---

  

A few moments passed then and Charles pulled back; his face red with emotion, eyes welled and bloodshot. He looked down to Emmeline.

His heart yearned for them to both be happy but... that was going to take time. He needed to figure out what was happening. She needed time to cool down. But he couldn't leave her. Not like this.

"I do love you, Emmeline," Charles said quietly with a deep sincerity. He needed to reassure her. He'd fucked it up the first time and didn't want her to think he didn't.

Charles then planted a kiss back on her forehead before she could reply and pulled a back into a hug. This time was was a lot softer and more just... comforting.

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It nearly broke Emmeline's heart further at the sight of him when he pulled away and looked down to her. Her eyes welled with tears at the sight. All she could do was nod though when he said it again. She believed him.

Sighing into the hug, she nuzzled against his chest as she wound her arms around his waist. "I should probably get home soon," she said softly, "Mother is likely already wondering why I've not come home yet." Though she had a feeling if she told her mother she'd run into Charlie, she'd get a knowing look and that would be that.

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#LovelyLadySet

Usually, Charlie would have protested and begged for her to stay longer but... there was no reason for it this time. He couldn't bring himself to argue her going home. He couldn't bring himself to do much in that moment beyond nod, rub his eyes, and move from her; offering his arm for her to link with.

"I'll walk you home," the man said, exhaling with a shaky breath, gesturing toward the path for her to start walking.

This was horrible.
It was as if everything that could go wrong had gone wrong and he couldn't do anything. It was tearing him apart.

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Emmeline was a bit surprised he didn't argue with her on it even if it shouldn't have. She didn't like the defeated air he was putting out but.. she didn't want to argue either. Clearly they both needed a bit of time to really think on what had happened.

She linked her arm through his and they easily went on their way. It was silent at first, too silent.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, glancing up to him. The concern was evident in her voice as well as in her eyes.

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#LovelyLadySet

No, he wasn't okay.
Nothing was okay.
This whole situation was fucked and there was absolutely nothing he could do to fix it.

Charles wanted instant gratification: it was a part of his personality. He wanted to fix things immediately. He wanted to be able to see a problem and apply the solution. It was part of what made him excel at his job.

But this... this... thing. This dangerous, chaotic, wonderful thing these two had was an enigma and he could not see a solution. Or the problem.

Yet there was one and it raced through his mind. No. It shot through his mind like a shock of lightning jolting him to his very core.

She wanted him to be honest.
To be open.
Vulnerable.

And to do that, he knew the answer to her question. One word was all he needed to say. But he couldn't. He wanted to - needed to - but he couldn't allow himself to and he knew what he was going to say and was aware of the outcome but he found himself saying it anyway.

They walked for a few moments before he answers though they didn't stop and he didn't turn to look at her.

Instead, his eyes drifted toward the sky and he spoke as nonchalantly as he could, "I suppose."

No, that... that didn't feel right. He couldn't leave it at that. He knew he was going to say that but as soon as he said it, Charles needed to say more.

Stopping in his tracks, Charles turned to face Emmeline with a serious expression, "I mean, I'm not. But... - we are going to be okay, aren't we?"

---

  

Normally, Emmeline didn't mind the silence between them. Before it had been calm and easy. Now... now there was a thick tension between them and she hated it. It was frustrating and confusing. It hurt. It hurt so damned much she wanted to cry again. But she didn't. And she didn't say anything.

She frowned initially at his answer. His tone and presence said differently. Was he already going to not speak freely with her?

But then he continued. And she felt another pang of pain right in her chest.

She looked to him as he stopped and she did all she could to give him a reassuring smile. It didn't quite reach her eyes as it normally would though. Her eyes still held a pain she doubted would go away any time soon.

"I want us to be," she answered honestly, "We clearly both have a lot to think of. But I think so long as we both want it, we will make it."

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#LovelyLadySet

"I hope so," Charles with painfully before he turned to continue walking, offering his arm to her once again.

Hope.
That was a nice thing to have.
He did have it yet right now, in this moment, he felt as if all hope was lost on him. He wasn't sure what was going to happen. He knew what he wanted to happen though he was smart enough to understand you didn't always get what you wanted.

Once they had arrived at the pathway to her house, Charles stopped and released her arm.

Sighing, Charles planted a kiss on her forehead, "I...- We'll see each other soon. I... Erm, I..."

Why was he wanting to tell her so much?

"I love you and... we will be okay. I mean it."

---

  

The rest of the walk went in silence again. Emmeline wasn't sure if he'd even say anything when they did get to her home but was rather surprised when he did speak. She returned his look with a small smile as she reached up to gently caress his cheeks.

"If you aren't comfortable saying it, you don't have to," she said softly before stepping on her tip toes to kiss him gently on the lips, "But I'll never tire of hearing it regardless."

And with that, she turned away and walked slowly up to the door. She was sure it would another night of no sleep but for entirely different reasons than the previous nights.

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#LovelyLadySet