1857 | His mother gets the biggest April Fools Day prank of all by giving birth to him. Not that he's a particularly troublesome baby, but his parent's belief that he'll be no trouble is precisely what leads to him being an utter failure. 'Probably would've done better with helicopter parenting, but whatever.

1859 | Finnian's first sign of magic makes a rather early appearance, happening in the late afternoon when wrestling his stuffed dragon. Though simply a stuffed animal, Finnian manages to animate it... and then it almost strangles him #winning. He gets major revenge by throwing it away, only to cry when he can't find it.

1861 | Lorcan's birth comes a little over a week after his fourth birthday, and he's not very happy to have the attention off him. He subsequently makes innumerable attempts to catch the attention of his mother, only to be snubbed by having older relatives or the Connolly's governess come for him instead. His true win would only come years later upon realizing his parents would have no further children, ha!

1863 | Connell goes off to Hogwarts and meets the first expectation of the family by being sorted into Gryffindor. ♬ For the first time in forever ♬ Finnian is finally the Big Boy of the house and promptly decides to boss around two-year-old Lorcan, who likely could not give less fucks.

1868 | His eleventh birthday means impending Hogwarts, which means the first test of Connolly-ness. Luckily, the hat doesn't spend much time making him worry pondering on his house, and promptly sorts him into Gryffindor. Apparently, rather than being the Bold and the Brave™ brand of Gryffindor, he instead falls under the Young and the Reckless™ brand when he almost fails his first year of examinations. After being sternly reminded that the family is counting on you to live up to expectations and yada yada yada, he promises to try harder. And he actually does, much to everyone's shock.

1870 | Connell graduates and becomes a reluctant potioneer instead of the curse-breaker he wanted to be. Sucks to suck, but tradition is the Connolly way, and Finnian likely (and ironically) reminds him of that at the obviously ripe and wise age of thirteen. He also adds Ancient Studies as his only elective, because Finnian knows he'll be going into law and it just seems like the most suitable (???) elective.

1871 | Fourth year he makes the decision (which wasn't all that difficult when he actually sat down to think about it) that he's going to become an auror, and as such he puts much greater effort into the classes that matter. Not that it matters for long, because he is Finnian and Finnian is easily distracted by nature.

1872 | Fifth year comes and he's not prefect, which surprises literally no one except himself, who thought he'd be just perfect at the job, thank you very much.

1873 | OWLs examination scores come in the summer and he is the only one not surprised with his decent scores — at least in the classes he cares about. With plans for the auror training program set in his mind, Finnian continues on with the bare minimum needed to succeed: Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, and Transfiguration. His sixth year goes as smoothly as it can for him.

1875 | Upon graduation, Finnian has no doubts about his scores despite the side-eyes he gets from his family members. He is not disappointed when his scores show up (ha!) and wastes no time shoving them in any of his relatives' faces. He should've held his breath, though, because he fails the psychological examination for the auror training program, with his "inability to work cooperatively" cited as a reason he shouldn't be let in. Well fuck. Embarrassed, Finnian refuses to look any of the Connolly family members in the eyes for two weeks.

1876 | Having had a whole year to think over his issues (what's wrong with a gap year?), Finnian once enters testing for the auror training program after working on his teamwork skills. Sadly, other reasons are cited for the second time he's rejected from the program, and he doesn't even remember what they were because he was so filled with rage. While he maintains his composure, he punches a tree upon arriving back on Connolly property and manages to break his hand and has to be treated by his cousin (the embarrassment!).

1877 | Third times must really be the charm, because he actually manages to get into the auror training program. Fearing fucking up one last time, Finnian puts all of his effort — an entirely new practice to him, actually — into his career with the hope that he won't be a failure. Everything goes fine. For now.

1879 | From his point of view, everything is going fine. He hasn't failed any examinations at work thus far, which totally means he's not really failing, right? Well, that's not how his superiors see it. He can't seem to find a mentor anywhere and after his uncle manages to escape mentoring his failure self, he puts in one last ditch effort to get his cousin, Connolly Brennan, to mentor him. His response? A sharp no, leading to likely the Biggest Overreaction Ever with a rant at dinnertime later that evening. Without anyone actually willing to mentor him, Finnian has no choice but to leave the program as a bitter mess and takes a clerk job. At the very least, the department doesn't force him to be a god-forsaken intern.

1882 | After three years of bullshitting his way through his clerk job, he finally finds himself in the position as a junior lawyer. He's surprisingly not awful, but doesn't appreciate the job. He watches the auror office from afar in the Creepiest Way Possible, shooting nasty glances if he catches sight of his ~super successful auror cousins~, especially Maeve who becomes a full auror despite her fiery temperament and short stature. Ugh.

1883 | He gets in trouble with amortentia-laced tea, but somehow manages to not impregnate or elope with any woman while under its influence, which is arguably his greatest success to date.

1884 | Finnian takes it hard when the laughing plague marks the end of his mother's life, but he takes it even harder when his father declares he's leaving Connolly property — and more notably, that Lorcan has decided to accompany him. While Finnian would just love to get away from the house full of exceedingly more successful people than himself, his loyalty to the family and their traditions prompt him to stay.

1887 | His thirtieth birthday comes with a promotion to full lawyer, which wouldn't have been awful if the first part of the sentence hadn't taken up his thoughts. Who reaches their full job at the age of thirty? Isn't that, like, getting old? At least he's spared from the pressure of getting married, as he's fairly sure everyone in the Connolly family is frightened by the prospect of him reproducing anytime soon. Stay tuned.