January 26th, 1891 - Gryffindor Tower

Sloane had been mopey all that Friday - much of the month, really - and Lester had pegged why a few weeks ago. It wasn't hard to connect the way Sloane was feeling to the way he felt towards most Julys, and the trouble was once he noticed it it was hard to figure out what to do about it. Sloane kept her brother on the down-low - Lester hadn't even known until Mercy died - and he wasn't going to out her, or anything, but it was difficult to walk around Hogwarts knowing why she was so cantankerous but also not being able to do anything about it. It was one of those problems he tossed around his head, trying to parse his way through, and it was only luck that had Lester heading back into the common room after dinner and finding Sloane there before the rest of their group.

Do or die.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Lester asked tentatively, quirking an eyebrow at her; he didn't know if it would actually help - (when he was sad in Augusts, there was little that did) - but at least with him she wouldn't have to pretend to be just regular Sloane, she could be as sulky as she wanted.

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Sloane Bixby @"Elsie Beauregard"

  

January was always rough for her. Add on the friend drama and the Christmas revelations and Sloane was positively drowning in emotions. There was far too much pressing down on her and she didn't know how to handle it. She had never been good with emotions. It would pass in February, if it didn't finally overwhelm her, but it left her withdrawn and surly and hiding more often than not.

It was entirely unlike her and she was sure everyone noticed, but she refused to admit to anything or burden anyone else with her problems, so she sulked in the quiet of the common room before everyone else came back from dinner.

Only Hatch knew what was the underlying issues and bless him for tossing her a lifeline when she was slipping below the surface. "I would love that, let me get my cloak." She sighed softly, unfolding herself from the sofa where she and Splash were curled up. She jotted up the stairs and grabbed her cloak, scarf and mittens tossing them on haphazardly before making her way back to the common room.

"Let's go." She wanted to be out of there before anyone else showed up and invited themselves along.

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There it was, the magic guess that got Sloane's enthusiasm - Lester rushed upstairs to get his own cloak and hat, and was in a similar scattered state to Sloan when he made it back downstairs. The whole thing wouldn't work as well if someone else came along; if it was just the two of them, Sloane could actually talk about things or not talk about things, whatever she wanted.

He nodded; they were down the Gryffindor tower stairs by the time Hatch actually spoke again, as if something might appear should they hear either of their voices.

"I kind of hope it's snowing," Lester said, the sort of nothing-sentence someone said when they weren't sure what to say.

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The best part about her friendship with Lester, though not her oldest friendship, perhaps her easiest, was that she simply didn't have to say anything, ever, if she didn't want to. He was one of the few people in her life that Sloane was more than comfortable to just be silent around, which was weird, but she was grateful anyway. Maybe it was just his unassuming nature or easy-going personality, but she had never felt the need to fill the silence with him like she did with most other people. Most of her friends weren't even used to her being quiet, which she wasn't by nature, but sometimes she just needed it. That was where Hatch came in.

"I know it'll sounds silly, but I feel like the snow is always the most magical here at school." She breathed out in response to his statement as they fled the the common room and tower. They'd reached the front foyer before she knew it and as soon as she stepped outside, she sighed in relief. The sun was sinking fast, but she didn't care. It wasn't all that cold and she was more than content to wander aimlessly with Hatch until this unwelcome mopey feeling was put to rest for another year.

It was in fact snowing lightly, big flakes that stuck to their cloaks and mittens. "Hey look, you win." She chuckled quietly.

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"Nah, you're right," Lester said, "Especially in the Great Hall." The ability to look up and see the starry night, or flecks of snow falling against the school - even though he was a fifth year, Lester still felt awestruck by it, sometimes.

He grinned at her once they were out the front doors of the castle, and stuck his tongue out to catch some of the flakes in his mouth. "Perfect," he said. If she was in a better mood, he would have thrown a snowball at her - as it was, he felt a little bit as if Sloane was something delicate right now, and he didn't want to ruin things for her.

"Down to the lake?" he asked.

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   Sloane Bixby

Nodding in agreement, Sloane gave a little twirl in the falling snow and took a deep breath of cold, refreshing air. This was exactly what she'd needed. The Great Hall was part of the allure of the snow at Hogwarts.

"Sure," She chuckled watching him and started in that direction, always having to walk twice as fast as her friends, thanks to her short legs. "Thanks for getting me out." She said without looking at him, instead keeping her eyes on their destination and how the sinking sun reflected off the dark waters of the lake itself. "You'd think think it would get easier, but it doesn't." Fortunately she didn't have to explain what she meant, knowing Hatch already knew too. It wasn't like Sloane had even had her twin for a long time in her life. They had been infants when he'd passed away, she had no memories of him to speak of, but still felt like something was missing sometimes. It had to be because she and Sawyer had come into the world at the same time, shared a womb for nine whole months, but saying it aloud still felt weird. It didn't make sense, but it didn't change how she felt either.

At least she had good friends to help fil the void; Sloane honestly didn't know what she would do without them.

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"Yeah," he agreed, "It really doesn't." They trudged down towards the Black Lake in the darkening light, Lester slowing his pace a little so he didn't go too much faster than tiny Sloane. He wished the lake was frozen over a little thicker; he would have liked to walk out onto the ice.

"I always feel like a mess in July," Lester added a minute or so later, "Not that you're a mess, right now, because you're not - just. I get it."

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set by Fallin!

"Oh, I'm a mess alright." Sloane was every bit the mess she was every January, on top of the friends situation and then Christmas, she was extra messy this year and it was miserable.

But Lester knew that and he got it, without her having to explain.

"I don't even remember him, we were so little when he passed, but something is still feels like it's missing." Maybe it was being a twin, maybe it was the sadness in her parents eyes on her birthday or on holidays every year knowing somebody else should be there, she didn't know, but the feeling was just there, nagging at her.

"Add everything else on top of it and I really am all over the place." She hadn't meant to say it, but she had been caught up in her thoughts and it just slipped out. Hopefully he would let it slide, but he likely had already picked up on the tension among their friends too, so it was hard to tell.

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"Yeah," Lester said, which was the only response he could immediately conjure to Sloane's emotional spillage. Yeah, she was a mess, but she'd lost a twin, and she was allowed to be; yeah, which hopefully encompassed the amorphous drama that lurked in their friend group, and which Lester desperately wanted to avoid spilling into all the other aspects of their lives.

Still, he could not refrain from asking: "What can I do to help?"

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set by Fallin!

Sloane sighed heavily; there wasn't much he could do, nor was it his problem. Just having Lester know about Sawyer and understanding was enough. It was entirely unfortunate, to share this kind of pain in life, but at least they weren't totally alone in it either.

"I don't know. I don't even know what I can do anymore." It felt like a whole hell of a lot of drama for a bunch of fourth and fifth years. They were teenagers, weren't they just supposed to enjoy their time at school before real life slapped them in the face?

This was turning out to be a larger existential crisis than she anticipated.

But again, that wasn't Hatch's problem. "This was good though, I needed to get out of my own head." Not that she'd gone far, obviously, but by being able to say some of it aloud, she felt a little better. "Thanks Hatch." She sighed again, this time a little more softly as they approached the lake.

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