January 22nd, 1891 — The Reach, Shiant Isle

"I know you let me win!" The accusation was emphatic, but laughter colored the words. Despite the now disastrous state of her hair, Titania was having the best possible time. When her midmorning ride with Mr. Greyback was interrupted by a sudden rain, their ride evolved into a race, and the rain was quickly an afterthought. Titania couldn't remember the last time she'd had the freedom to do something as ridiculous as ride with abandon. It wasn't the sort of thing she'd been free to do since childhood and it thrilled her, even if, as she maintained her host had reigned up just before their impromptu finish line to fall behind.

With the horses safely away, rain momentarily passed, and she uncaring of the strands that escaped her braid in the weather, Titania tried and failed to keep from smiling as she pressed her point. "Had I the inclination, I could have left you far behind without your tricks, I just chose to humor you with a close race." Titanian wasn't especially competitive but, around him, she was playful. It was one of many developments she noticed in the months since they had begun their courtship. That, and her growing need to be near him. It was this sense of needed nearness that troubled her most, Anya being rather self-sufficient, but her fear of her feelings overruling her sense were easy to ignore when she could be so near him. It made her foolish and terribly easy to read, she concluded when left to her own thoughts. Merlin, she was such a woman.

"Did you truly call me here to insult my pride, Sir? I am certain you must have other motives or this will be a rather humiliating stay at my expense." There was no heat in her words, but her eyes warmed when she met his. In truth, curiosity - and hope - were eating at her. She could speculate, and she had obsessively, but she wanted the truth of things from him.

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Murdock Greyback

  

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MJ revealed this beauty

Murdock had had his heart in his throat for weeks. When he had asked Titania to court him formally it had seemed so simple, the reality of having to tell her the truth of his life had been a far off abstraction. He had considered not telling her, making up some standing wizengemot session that would allow him to slip away but that fundamental lie was no basis upon which to build a life together and at some stage not sustainable in the long run. No the old ways were better but that didn't mean he liked it.

When he had issued the invitation he had known what he intended to do, knowing was the easy part, and for a few days he had been able to forget what portentous moment lay ahead of them. A moment that dictated not only his happiness but her own as well - if she reacted badly she would have to carry this secret, and her resentment of him for the rest of her life.

The ride this morning had done something to clear the cobwebs from his brain, it was hard to dwell on future disasters when it was just the two of them, unguarded and carefree, without his brothers and sisters giving him pointed glances and cornering him in hallways to ask if he'd done it yet. But in truth he had been enjoying the peace, the normality of the visit far too much to want to spoil it with the conversation

He had resolved to do it today, break the news with the moon coming soon and offer her a 'test run' of her future life. Tonight after dinner was the appointed time. Isobel was prepped ready to offer emotional support, or to whisk her away if it went badly.

The rain which had caused them to spur their horses into a gallop, ended the quiet plodding of their ride had it's own plans. There were miles yet to the house. The hunting folly had been closest, doric columns and domed roof offering some shelter at least until the rain abated, the rooms behind were likely locked as no one was expected. As they stood there, with her soaked, her hair and gown drench, relaxed and dare he say it happy, he realised he had to be now. He couldn't impose upon her pleasure any longer, couldn't steal this time like an unworthy thief with such a secret hanging between them.

He took a step away from her, all of her comments unanswered and unaddressed, scrubbing his face with both hands. He shoulders flagged at the reality of what he was about to do, and praying to whatever power that existed in the universe to help him, to help her understand.

'Titania, there is something of incredible importance that I must discuss with you.' his face serious, his brows knit and low over his blue eyes. 'Before we can continue with this...' he struggled for a word that fit the bill but couldn't find one, 'relationship' he managed after a second.

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MJ is a National Treasure

A quick hot air charm had her dress and robes dry and the fabric warm against her skin in a moment. She was ready to offer the charm to Murdock when his face changed like the weather had, his shoulders slumping under some weight she couldn't see.

The warmth she felt at the use of her given name chilled quickly when she caught sight of his face. He looked more as she suspected he did when facing some criminal in interrogation, not at all the way he'd begun to look at her. Neither of them was adept at discussing emotions, as they learned when it took them both to reach the landmark of courtship, but there was no delight in his eyes now, nothing loving.

"Has something happened? Have I done something to upset you?" Titania ran through the past five months in moments, the days since they were last together at the Dueling Exhibition. What could she have done to change his mind? Was there something he had done? That seemed impossible, her - and she'd come to think of him as hers - noble, witty, kind Murdock wasn't the sort for vice and double lives. She was so certain.

Calling on the courage she had and her own concern for him, she stepped around him, approaching with care before reaching a hand gently for his. If he was about to break her heart, she would have it happen with her hand in his. "Murdock, whatever you need to say, I want to know. I will listen, I swear it. Just, please tell me what is wrong."

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Murdock Greyback

  

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MJ revealed this beauty

The pain on her face was evident as he spoke -Merlin she already thought the worst of him, and when she took his hand he couldn’t look at her, the dear sweet, too good, creature she was, was already blaming herself, taking his hand, offering him comfort. It was almost too much to bear and bit the inside of his mouth so hard he tasted metal. He withdrew his hand from hers, it was unfair to take strength from her in this moment. He turned away from her, unable to look at her face

’Titania there is nothing you could do that would upset me.’ he explained, looking over his land, at the sodden grass and blue grey skies. It would be sunny later, he thought wrly. ’It is I that have let you down,’ he admitted.

He turned back to her, his face grave. ’I want to tell you everything, please believe me I do but first,’ he felt his stomach churn unpleasantly, he heaved a heavy sigh, like all of his limbs were suddenly made of lead, but he scrubbed his face again with his hands. ’I need you to make a commitment that is not to be undertaken lightly, I need you to make the unbreakable vow’ he finished in a rush of words.

Murdock cast his eyes up the domed roof of the folly, to the remains of adobe swallow nests tucked into the corners, and the solitary collared dove sat on a stone plinth, it’s beady black eyes trained on Murdock. ’I will not blame you, if you chose to go back to the house and we will never speak of this again. Isobel will take you home.’ his tone was tired – he was tired, anxiety had robbed him of several nights sleep.

  

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MJ is a National Treasure

Pulling away from her struck with the shock of a curse. Turning away from her, again denying her the ability to read his face was physically jarring. Titania could feel the shaking begin in her hands as if the entire island was crashing into the sea. The physical distance between them might as well be miles.

"If I haven't hurt you, then why hurt me with your silence?" The outburst was uncharacteristic, but so was the situation. Titania felt her ears heat at her unthoughtful words. She was hardly helping the situation. She looked up as he turned to consider her, drawn to him like magnetically. Her heart broke watching the angst his eyes reflected. Merlin, what was he keeping from her? She longed to reach for him, to comfort him somehow, but he had already denied them both the comfort of a shared touch. Tightening her arms around herself, Titania held her ground. That went to hell when he pressed on.

Titania barely heard his assurances of safe passage if she denied him, she was desperately searching for a place to sit before her legs failed her. Somewhere in the less charitable part of her mind, she was ready to point out she considered marriage an unbreakable vow, but shouting the obvious would hardly help. Torn between retreating to the marble benches nearby and maintaining her ability to meet him eye to eye, she conceded to her growing lightheadedness and sat, resting her head against the wall as she considered him.

"You wish me to make a vow that will endanger my life, but you will not tell me why?" Anya's tone wasn't accusatory so much as lost. Her inner Ravenclaw rose to defend her. "An Unbreakable Vow requires a third to officiate, which tells me your secret is or will be known to others. Whether or not you would blame me, I would regret to my grave walking away from you, and if that is a surprise, I have myself to blame." She let her eyes close for the moment. She couldn't bear to read the answer in his face and she needed to collect her strength for the growing list of concerns she had.

"You say I am not at fault, but I cannot imagine a transgression of yours I could not overcome. That you imagine something so horrid that I should wager my life for an answer still speaks to a perceived deficit in my character." She did watch him as she spoke again, needing more information as she collected herself.

"I want to consent to your requirement, but I will not if your vow would require me to endanger either of our families. I can only assume you would know this and, I can only conclude, that Isobel approves of this, whatever it may be. I do not believe she would encourage our meeting and further association if she did not trust us both and I know she would never knowingly endanger my dear brother or their children. That gives me some comfort, but also doesn't explain what could possibly require the price of my life as collateral."

Fighting her breeding and all rules of etiquette, Titania forced herself to make eye contact, despite her skin flushing at the impropriety of her words. "Before I make such a bargain, I must know, if I were to agree to your terms, is a proposal your intent? I will not offer my life if there is no path forward for us." The words were decisive, but Anya could not be more in need of comfort and assurance. What had he done that he couldn't find it within himself to comfort her? "I know it unbecoming for a lady to be so forward, but I cannot and will not make a vow that endangers either of us or our loved ones."

Watching the energy drain from him, seeing the weight of his shoulders, she couldn't ignore his pain, regardless of his demands. "I do not want to go home, Murdock." Her voice matched his exhaustion. "Whatever you answer, please, sit. If I may be so selfish, I would prefer to face whatever is to come with you near me. "

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Murdock Greyback

  

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MJ revealed this beauty

He half leaned beside her on the stone bench, despite himself taking comfort from her closeness. He didnt know how to answer her, because he had no good answer to give. It was the part of this that sat heaviest with him - the deception of love before the truth was known. Sometime he thought the old Grimm Tail of the beauty and the beast who imprisoned her had merits. How did he explain to her in words that made sense the fact all that he had to tell her - but practicalities -those at least he could address.

'If you consent Isobel will oversee the vow, she will act as the third. She already knows what I must tell you,' he almost explained that it involved his sister as well, but there was no need for that, more questions would follow that, and if she chose to not take the vow then it would taint her relationship with Isobel forever, and he would not knowingly rob either woman of their companionship. 'She is bound by oath as well'[/b he explained, his sister, as a Greyback by birth had not taken the unbreakable vow, but there was a vow as solemn as marriage oaths that were taken to protect the family. Besides, outing the men would be the social ruin of the women who were bound to them by blood or marriage. [b]'I can say no more than that about her, and the vow would only endanger you if you broke it, and we only ask that you not knowingly divulge the secret, which would be as like to kill me, and endanger my children if you were to tell it.' As much as any man wanted sons, he was glad at heart to have girls alone to worry after. Ignorance could be pled for them, marriages sought, lesser than they might have hoped but they could escape their natal names if they needed to, but poverty and disgrace was not a future any father hoped for.

He finally met her eyes, 'If I intended anything other than ending my days with you Titania I would never bring this up,' he said, his tone earnest, his expression searching hers for a modicum of understanding. 'I would ask two vows of you, the second with not a single reservation, but for this, which I must do to protect the others that I love.' he scrubbed his face with his hands, 'a fathers duty and a patriarchs responsibility.'

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MJ is a National Treasure

She offered him a grateful smile for at least closing the distance between them. She did not intend for him to hover over her against the wall, but Titania wouldn’t split hairs when he had honored her request. It was a sign, she would tell herself, that whatever he was about to share wouldn’t be the end of them.

Mentioning Isobel had a strange dual effect on her nerves: Isobel was already as dear as a trueborn sister and there was no better third, but what could be so life-altering that Isobel hadn’t told her in over twenty years of being attached at the hip? That gave her pause. But had he not spent the better part of a year proving himself to be the truest of gentlemen? It had been almost a year of, in his own endearing way, showing that he could be her Mr. Greyback. What could she do but trust him?

The idea of endangering his life had her stomach twisting. "Please, do not dwell on that. I would never endanger you or the girls. I would never," The very thought made it difficult to breathe. What could weigh on him that would cause such a line of thought?

Worried eyes found some comfort in him finally meeting her gaze. His words caused another flood of feeling, this one wholly pleasurable. She had never wished to spend the rest of her days with another and now, the thought of life without this cryptic man and his precious daughters was impossible to fathom. "I am glad. Thank you." She added her relief and gratitude quietly. The silly romantic in her invested far too much in his use of the words 'others that I love.' If she were to focus on the literal implication, and she desperately wanted to, 'other' implied that he loved someone already in the conversation. That was not a term they had discussed nor was it the sort of thing Titania expected to hear, but it still had her heart choosing a very erratic rhythm.

Anya ducked her head in admonishment. As she was fretting about her prospects, he was discussing the burdens he carried. There was obviously more at stake than her feelings and she had pressed him for reassurance. "It is selfish of me to ask for reassurances when there are greater matters to settle. Your duty to your family must be your focus, of course."

Decision made, Titania rose and faced him, not fully willing to allow a more appropriate distance between them now that she had the comfort of him near. "Whatever you need to tell me, it will not change my intentions nor my affections." Anya was wary of absolutes when it came to the talk of emotions and loyalties, but none of the terrifying possibilities that came to mind impacted her decision. "I have considered multiple possibilities over the past several months and none of the secrets that a gentleman may have," Anya's mouth disappeared into a thin line as she attempted to string together a less embarrassing line. There was no polite way to tell a man you would accept any illegitimate children he brought to the marriage or turn a blind eye to any mistress he couldn't bear to part with. "Whatever your secret is, I will answer your vows with a yes."

Not wishing to feel his rejection of her presence a second time, Titania's offered hand barely bridged the space between them. "If it must happen this way, I trust your judgment." She desperately hoped that trust would not be forgotten.

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Murdock Greyback    Madeleine Backus

  

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MJ revealed this beauty

Unable to look at her face, at her words, solemn as they were, he reached for one of her pale hands, taking it in his significantly larger one - the skin was cool and pale as marble from the briskness of their ride.

'You're not selfish, you could never be that' he said sombrely, his usually gruff voice low, in almost a whisper. 'would it be enough to tell you for now that it is no unfaithfulness of heart or deed, no vice of intemperance, and no sin of greed?' he asked intoning the words like a prayer, hoping that assuring her that it was not one of the usual foibles that men of certain rank and station were often inclined, might soften the blow. He was no real gambler, drink appealed to him only as a warming agent to the fire of conversation or song, and other than her - he had seldom looked at another woman since his wife death. Although when the words were gone from he him he wondered if a mistress, secret family, or bastard offspring might be easier to broach than this.

He took another deep breath, 'and were it not for this secret I would have begged you on bended knee months ago to allow this man the pleasure of showing you his love for the years that remain to him.' and while not a man given to fits of solemn emotion he could not help the tension that had edged his voice, the threatening crack that might spill forth in an unmanly clamour and reduced him to childish* emotional tears.

'I love you Titiana, in ways that I did not think myself of caring for another, and it is why I cannot in good conscience before God ask you to be my wife while some secret remains between us.'

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*just some casual Victorian toxic masculinity

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   Titania Allaway

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MJ is a National Treasure

Considering she said she would remain regardless of what secret was looming, Titania's reaction to the news was visceral. He wasn't hiding a mistress and her children, he was not a secret drunk or thief; this all lightened the burden and deepened the mystery. What else was there? Titania's healer mind flashed to a scenario that suddenly seemed worse than a wandering eye. What if he was ill? If he was about to tell her there was some disease ravaging him and his life had few years left, Titania would not change her mind, but the prospect made her ill. If he was about to tell her she would lose him in a year, Merlin, she couldn't give the thought life. "It is enough. Thank you."

A declaration of love shouldn't come with a sense of impending doom, but who was Titania to judge? She believed herself in love with this man for months, but naming the feeling, admitting this into her heart, was terrifying. Still, the suggestion of a proposal and words about a life dedicated to love and one another had Titania blinking furiously and attempting to manage her breathing. The reminder that there was something so grave it would have Mr. Greyback holding back on a proposal was horrifying, but he loved her. He loved her and meant to protect her.

Squeezing his hand tightly and attempting to police her ridiculous reactions, Titania brought her free hand to their clasped ones and Titania let it rest on one of his wrists before giving it a soft squeeze. "I," speaking the words she'd only admitted to her journal was frightening for Anya, "I love you as well and I will stand with you, whatever there is to be said. Whatever it is, I swear I am ready." Offering him a smile she prayed was more tranquil than she felt, Titania braced herself to apparate. The sooner she knew this secret, the sooner they could move forward. God, she hoped he would look at her with the same affection as he did now.

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Murdock Greyback | Madeleine Backus

  

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MJ revealed this beauty

He smiled, still staring at the place where his hand held hers and brought the pale skin to his lips. 'I hope you do not live to regret those words' he offered his voice tight, and move to hold her tightly to him to apparate them both back to the house. A gilly would fetch the hoses in his own time.

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When they had arrived at the house in a crack of apparition, Isobel had met them in the hall. She had looked from her brother to her friends sombre faces. Murdock had merely nodded to her and she had taken over the care of Titania. It would take only a little while to prepare for the vow, and for Murdock to regain his composure. Less than 20 minutes after arriving home, just enough time for his brothers to swarm him assuring him it was the right thing to do and to wash his face hoping the cool water would wash away his tension. He was sure Isobel, and the other women were giving Titania a similar talk.

When he entered the drawing room to pace by the fire, Isobel and Titania followed soon after. 'Are you ready my dear?' he asked, trying to project as much confidence into his voice as possible.

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MJ is a National Treasure

A lady should be allowed to savor such moments of affection. Whatever he thought of her usually selfless nature, there was still a part of her that was selfish, greedy even, for his attention and that part of her was rather put out at having some looming business overshadowing the soft kiss to her hand and the tight embrace of his arms.

As soon as they appeared inside The Reach, Isobel was on her and was handing her off to several sisters. It was the first time the family felt suffocating. They were all offering vague assurances that all will be well and that she would understand soon. None of it made her feel better about what lay ahead. She didn't fuss as she was ushered back to her rooms. At a loss of what to do and frantic to be done with all this, Anya submitted to a change of wardrobe and to have her hair arranged. The drying charm had done its job, but the distraction kept her from panicking.

It seemed an hour before Isobel came to fetch her. The woman was kind enough - and knew Anya well enough - that she took her hand without question, offering as much support as possible.

Titania went to him as soon as he acknowledged her presence, grateful to have him close as her anxiety rose. She was terrified for his health, as she was certain this horrible secret must be hiding some illness or impending doom, she was terrified for her own heart. Of course, she wasn't ready! "As ready as I can be." She offered instead. Holding out her right arm for him to begin the ritual, Anya was grateful her hand was more or less steady. Meeting his eyes, she offered a weak smile. "No more secrets."

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Murdock Greyback

  

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MJ revealed this beauty