A handful of scholars had come to him to talk about the creation of Homunculi, but certainly never in the context of love. When their eyes met, he wondered for a moment about the peculiar inability of humans to see themselves as clearly as they saw the other. He felt her searching gaze acutely, as if it pierced right through the invisible sphere around him that seemed to ordinarily ward off anyone who tried to know him more than he wished to be known. It felt oddly frightening.
“I am not certain, either,” he replied.
Unless he at some point would have a child of his own, he might never be able to make a judgment.
Samuel, nonetheless, knew about the dangerous and preposterous nature of what he was doing; about the unpredictability that came with the territory when the magic of blood intertwined with the force that seemed to be the undercurrent of what made one human.
Never hold on to a creation that you cannot guard your heart against, lest you won't be able to undo what you set out to create, he repeated his rule back to himself inside his head.
Standing there and being forced to see himself reflected in the eyes of Themis, the unwelcome thought occurred to him that since leaving Prague, he had perhaps taken this credo beyond the laboratory and applied it diligently to his life, wherever he went.
The moment, thankfully, passed and he was freed from dwelling on this any longer.
His work on the table seemed to pull him back into his center and he shook off whatever had just transpired and focused on what took form beneath his hands.
Samuel dipped his fingers in what was left of the silver liquid he had created.
Quickly, he set out to paint another circle with it, surrounding the engraving on the table with another layer of runes and lines. It might appear more sophisticated to use a brush for this, but he preferred the degree of feeling and control that the direct contact afforded.
He went to clean his hands after he finished and was called back to their conversation when Themis astutely identified the system of thought his former master had held on to so tightly.
Samuel turned to look at her and said:
“My former master Oldřich did more than enjoy them, he was fanatic about adhering to the hermetic principles. He felt that this ancient wisdom safeguarded his work, and to an extent, his soul.”
He smiled weakly, there was no joy in it.
“We had disagreements about it often. Especially towards the end of my apprenticeship there. Just like you, in my own work I happened upon circumstances where the principles seemed not to apply or could not be proven. He would not hear of it. Just like you say, he was holding on to the system to regain a sense of control over his fate that was, in my opinion, illusory.”
And it made him feel righteous in putting the blame for the accident squarely on my shoulders, for disregarding these very principles., he added silently.
“We fought about it, the very night I left Prague,” Samuel recalled and observed that moment surface languidly in his mind from deep dark waters.
“If you listened to me instead of thinking me an old fool, this would not have happened. How often have I told you, what you set in motion swings back with corresponding force. You cannot reach for the power over death without paying the corresponding price! It is known by the ancients, yet you let your hubris prevail!”, Rosenberg had laid into him. When his apprentice rebutted him, Rosenberg had for the first and last time tried to strike him. But it was unwise to attack what had at this time been reduced to a cornered, wounded animal. When Samuel had sent the old man flying into his table of instruments and seen them shatter, he knew that their bond was irrevocably broken.
Returning to the present, he set his hands on the newly painted transmutation circle. Again he called forth his power from its source within his body, the runes and lines lit up and the engraving sealed itself, the liquid hardening and settling into every little pore and crevice of the stone, so no minuscule gap should remain. The resulting surface of the lines was smooth like a mirror.
Samuel wiped off what he had painted around it and thought that hearing her voice her considerations on the hermetics had meant more to him than he should reasonably articulate to her and that there was solace to be found in her interpretation of the cold arbiters of fate in the skies above.
Suddenly, he felt sure that he wanted to offer Themis something that he would never, under any circumstances, offer someone else in her position.
“It is done,” he said, meaning the work he had done on the table.
“Do you want to try your hand at it?” he asked.
Starting out with a complex transmutation was unheard of for a reason, but Samuel felt inexplicably certain of two things:
That she had the abilities to succeed,
and that starting small would be wasting her time.
Besides, he would take his time to demonstrate how exactly it worked and would see to the safety of the matter.