December 17th, 1893 - Bartonburg

Winnie was curled up on her bed, half-asleep with a book in her hands, when she thought she heard Dory come home from work. She'd had an unusually quiet day, just two appointments to take care of that morning and she'd been snoozing on and off all afternoon after being up late a night ago, trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Having a regular sleep schedule wasn't something she'd had in a long time and so she simply took advantage of any spare time she had to crawl into bed and catch as many hours as she possibly could.

She was very much a creature of cozy comfort come winter. The colder it got outside, the more she just wanted to be under warm blankets by the fireplace with a cocoa and a good book. Or curled up in bed with somebody to snuggle. It was impossible, of course, she had to work for a living, but at least it was an inside occupation. Well, when done correctly of course.

Some time must have passed, because she didn't hear anything else after she'd heard the front door close and she'd drifted off again, curled into her pillows. Her bedroom door wasn't closed, just ajar, but it creaked a little when opened all of the way and that was what had her peering over the blankets at Dory as he came in. Win smiled sleepily at him. "Hi," she sighed softly as she stretched out her heavy limbs.

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Dorian Fisk

  

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The lingering pain from the dragon attacks had only worsened as the weather grew colder. The stiffness in his repaired knee forced him to use a cane on the coldest or rainiest days, his swift mobility all but gone in favor of this crippling injury. He'd been lucky too, or so the healers had said. Lucky that the fragments of bone in his knee and lower leg hadn't been too shattered to repair, lucky that he hadn't required an amputation. And he tried to be mindful of that, he did. He and Maple ought to have died when the building collapsed upon them, so he ought to feel lucky to even be alive. But, truthfully, on the days where his knee ached the most Dory sometimes wished they had amputated it. After all, a stump couldn't ache like this, could it?

Hatchitt was picking up the impact of his injury now too. The interesting (and more dangerous) cases required a person to be able to move and dodge and flee danger without being impeded by a crippled knee. So, instead, Dory had been delegated nearly all of the boring cases - the first bursts of magic that only needed a simple fix or checking in on known experimenters that were under such harsh restrictions that they could never do anything interesting again. Dory was already struggling with how his career had stagnated, to be coddled like this hadn't helped matters.

He had done his best to better his mood before heading back home to Winnie - even going as far to stop for a drink to take the edge off the pain a bit. Then, seeing that she was resting, Dory had soaked in the steaming hot water for a long while before finally pulling on his pajamas and heading into her room. His limp was prominent now that the cane had been abandoned by the floo, although she'd seen him limping enough times now to hopefully not comment on the severity of it. "Hey," he murmured as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Quiet day today?"

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It was hard to miss the pronounced limp, but Winnie knew better than to say anything. He should be still using the cane around the house, but she wasn't about to argue with him. Stretching out her back, she looked over at him from her pillow, curling onto her side to face him better.

"Mm, I was up late, had some appointments this morning." Nothing new. Barring any early arrivals, Winnie thought the next few days would be quiet. She might have some time to catch up on her notes and journals. She liked to keep detailed notes of each birth, each mother, for the next time or if they were of interest, or something she had tried, had worked. It was unfortunately the part she was always behind on as everything else took precedence.

"How was your day?" She sighed as she brushed her hair from her face. Gently she nudged him with one foot, trying to gauge his mood.

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The wiser choice tonight was likely the one that involved him alone in a closed room. He was exhausted of the pain and being in a sour mood because of the pain and just generally life itself lately. And, if he could stand long enough to enter the ring, Dory might have even tried to find a boxing match to burn off some of this negative energy. But, unfortunately for him, he'd made all the wrong choices tonight and was left trying to fake it for the sake of his relationship.

(Was it even a relationship? Dory often had his doubts these days, for yes, they were living together, but to what end? She wouldn't marry him, she aborted what was likely their child over a year ago now. What future did they have together that was worth calling this a relationship?)

"You could use some quiet." He murmured, leaning back on the bed until he was resting up on his elbows. "Today was long, more paperwork than anything." Paperwork he was beginning to dream of setting aflame.

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Winnie sort of felt like she was walking on eggshells around him these days. It was hard to watch him be in pain and being unable to do anything about it. It was frustrating for her, she couldn't imagine how difficult it must be for him. She couldn't say anything though, didn't know how to offer help without upsetting him. It also left her questioning what she was doing here, but she was also leery of rocking that boat too.

"Yeah, I don't mind, rarely happens." Win worked a lot, kept odd hours, was constantly in and out. She didn't mind, she was used to it, liked it. It kept her busy, kept her on her toes and was a good use of her skills. She was good at it, too. "Did you eat? I can make something." Her kitchen skills were passable. It wouldn't be anything fancy, not like he was used to, but it would be edible and filling, hopefully with a little flavor. Winnie had taken that for advantage living in the boarding house. At least then she hadn't had to worry about feeding herself, there was almost always something available. It was fine, she could survive off snacks and soups.

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Dory wasn't hungry, his appetite soured by both his mood and the ache in his leg. "No, I had dinner before coming home. I wasn't sure if you'd be here or not." He was ashamed to be lying to her, especially when she might be insulted that he hadn't waited for her. Dory might've been frustrated with their lack of a plan, but he never wished to intentionally hurt her. No, he loved her. Whatever their circumstances, whatever their future held, he loved her.

"Have you eaten? We could go out, if you'd like." Merlin he hoped she didn't want to, but he'd go if she wished to to help soothe the guilt that had arisen from supposedly eating without her.

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It wasn't of any consequence to her if he'd already eaten before coming home. She never knew if she would be home for dinner either, it wasn't as if babies were predictable in their arrival schedules, despite her best efforts to make an accurate guess. "I haven't, but we probably shouldn't." She shrugged. Despite living together, they weren't married, so they couldn't exactly go out to dinner together. In public, where people could see them and start asking questions. He had a reputation to maintain and she had to keep her image good for work. If she couldn't work, she was doomed.

"Besides, there's plenty in the kitchen," some fresh bread and cheese she'd picked up on her way home this morning. A little evening snack with tea would be all she needed. Winnie busied herself with winding her tresses into a braid, tying it off with a piece of ribbon. She wasn't starving, but perhaps if she got up and got it all together, she might be ready. It wasn't a bad idea either, who knew, she could get called out at any minute and then she would be starving. Win looked around for her dressing gown, sliding off the bed into her slippers and wrapping it around her shoulders. "Do you want tea?"

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Despite not wanting to go out, Dory found himself instantly irritated that not only had she refused him but she brought to light all the same issues they constantly avoided. They couldn't go out as a couple, Dory was hardly thinking they'd walk hand in hand down the street, but they'd been friends for well over a decade. Friends went out to eat together, friends had drinks. It didn't have to be more complicated than that.

Except, it was. Everything was so intensely and needlessly complicated because she refused to marry him.

"No, I'm alright." He huffed, sitting back up and pushing to stand with the intention of retreating into his room for the night. "Enjoy your tea."

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Winnie bristled involuntarily. There was just something about the way he huffed that she didn't know how to feel about it. She wrapped her dressing gown around her and fixed the back of her slippers in silence. She really didn't know what to do here. It was probably best to just let him go be cranky, but maybe it would better if she just ceded the apartment altogether and went back to her place.

That was a better idea maybe, so she undid everything she had just put on and reached for the discarded blue dress on the chair in the corner of her room. Winnie started pulling on stockings then skirts, slipped her arms into her bodice. There was no need for a full corset, that could all get tossed in her carpet bag and she could just go home and strip again.

She shuffled around her room, assuming he was on his way out anyway. He wasn't hungry, she wasn't in the mood to be an emotional punching bag tonight and so she would just give him some space. She could take her snacks and her journals and go home and get some work done, then get a decent night's sleep without disturbing him. Maybe she should start going back to hers until she was invited back. That way at least she would know she wasn't invading his space when she wasn't wanted.

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Dory didn't need to ask her where she was going, truthfully he wasn't even sure it was worth the effort. She was upset with his mood, he was pissed that she was keeping them locked in this eternal limbo, and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Really, he ought to continue on to his bedroom. He ought to close the door and pretend he didn't notice her changing her clothes, but Dory had never been able to ignore anything before.

He had nothing pleasant to say. There was nothing but anger and frustration in his heart as she slipped the first stocking up her foot and then the other. Space, they both needed space. He needed time to adjust to this godforsaken pain, and she needed time to - to what? It wasn't as though she'd agree to marry him in another month's time. So what then? Was it just that she needed time to figure out how to leave him? She was already fucking doing that now.

"Running away again, Win?" He muttered bitterly. "Because I asked to go out with you? God forbid someone in some godforsaken town saw us together and suspected we might have feelings for one another. The whole bloody world would come to a halt."

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Winnie froze again, this time halfway through tying her skirts on. The bile of something nasty slid up her throat, was on the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back, sighing softly instead. With determined fingers, she finished tying up her skirt, moving to the buttons on her bodice.

"I am giving you some space," she managed, tone even and calmer than she felt. "Whether you're mad at me or something else, I am not in the mood to be your emotional outlet tonight." She suspected now he might have already been grumpy by the time he'd gotten home, but apparently she'd said the wrong thing again, judging by the acid he was spitting in her direction. "Neither one of us can afford that and you know it." She reasoned as she did up most of the buttons, leaving a couple near the top undone. She was going straight home, she wasn't detouring, it was fine. Winnie bent to scoop up her shoes and pulled her carpet bag out from its hiding spot beneath the bed.

She wasn't in the mood to have an argument, big or small, something new or the same thing they kept going around and around again with.

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Space, she was giving him space when it was the exact opposite of what he wanted. He'd come in here tonight hoping for comfort, to relax finally in the embrace of someone he loved, and instead she was fucking leaving because he'd asked her to entertain the thought of doing something together. He was suddenly fuming and wished desperately that he was steady enough on two feet to storm off first, but he knew if he tried to do anything beyond stand and walk at a snail's pace that he'd likely trip and fall.

"Go then. I don't understand why you even come back. You have your flat that you've kept despite my asking for you to live here with me. I want you here and all you fucking do is run away." There was more on his tongue to shout out at her, but Dory knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if those words escaped she'd be lost to him forever.

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It was surprising, how deep something completely expected could cut. She didn't know why she kept coming back. The familiarity, she supposed, it had once been so easy to fall into him, into them, but now it was complicated, with sharp edges that she couldn't keep from cutting herself on. Winnie wasn't even angry, she wanted to be, it would be easier to meet his fury with her own, but mostly she was just heartbroken.

She had her dressing gown in hand, had been folding it to shove into her bag, but she clutched it before her to keep her hands from shaking. Of all the things she expected for her evening, this certainly hadn't been it. The tension had been building slowly again, but she had tried to ignore it. This was exactly the collapse she knew would swallow them up for good.

"I can't give you what you want, Dory. You know that." She whispered, too afraid to turn and look at him. She wasn't made for little houses with picket fences and kids and a dog in the yard. Honestly she didn't want it. She had liked her life, the freedom of it, the ability to come and go as she pleased. She'd tried to put herself in a box for him, to be here when he wanted her, but it was suffocating, even if she loved him. Tears sprang to the corners of her eyes and she wiped them away before they could fall, swallowing the rest back as best she could.

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All Dory had asked for was a genuine chance for this to work. To live together and be together without a flat to escape to or whatever other bullshit fallback plans she had. He didn't expect her to be the society wife, didn't expect her to have a dozen children like his mother had. All Dory had hoped for in moving here was her. And even that was too much it seemed.

She would never understand that either. She would never understand the freedom that marriage could give them both. Sure, some might comment on the fact that they remained childless, but Dory didn't need to worry about carrying on the Fisk legacy. There was an entire tribe's worth of nieces and nephews at this point that would be the burdens of that particular task. He didn't understand why she refused to accept that a marriage to him didn't have to look like a marriage to Ari. As long as they weren't caught in a harem somewhere everything would be fine.

"You weren't even willing to try." He accused, his tone taking on a hint of defeat. "You always had one leg out the door, like you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, here you go Winnie. Here's your out."

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"I didn't try?" She rounded on him now, unable to hold back the angry tears any longer. "I wasn't here every single day after the Thames doing everything I could to make sure you were comfortable and had everything you could possibly need?" The incredulousness in her tone had her voice rising. "I haven't been here more than my own place barring the times your family have visited? I haven't been stuffing myself into some ridiculous box for you day in and day out waiting for you to finally realize that this isn't what you want?" She'd told him she couldn't do it, but he had said that was fine. She'd known better, she'd known it and still she'd let him talk her into this.

Winnie caught her tongue between her teeth, biting down hard trying to wrap her head around the turn of events. "So yes, I have had one foot out the door and I told you it would be like that. You promised me if this wasn't enough that you would tell me, is that what's happening now?" They clearly had two very different ideas of what being here meant. He wanted the comfort of someone who would be here no matter what, no matter how foul of a mood he was in, how bad of a day he had and she didn't have the bandwidth in her anymore. She was grateful for him, for their time together, for his support on her long days and she'd done the same for him as much as she could; but this one time she couldn't and that was it, he was over it because she was at capacity for being weighed down by other people's needs. This was exactly why she wasn't cut out to be a wife. Forget the house, the children, the rest of it; she wasn't a good partner and he clearly didn't realize that.

"I'm not good enough for you and I never will be, Dory. For all intents and purposes I've been your mistress and that is all I can and will ever be." She sighed and resumed packing her things. Maybe she was too selfish, maybe she just wasn't cut out for whatever ideal he had for his future, but she had tried, even if he couldn't see it. She would have never played house with anyone else, would have never entertained the thought of monogamy for anyone other than him, but it wasn't enough. She just wasn't enough. She had known it the whole time, but maybe he was finally starting to see it too.

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"The only box here is the one of your own making." Dory angrily bit back. Yes, of course he was appreciative of all she'd done for him in the aftermath of his injury. Of course he recognized that he hadn't been the best or easiest of patients, and had been grumpy more often than he would've liked to have been. But, none of what happened on the Thames was what he was talking about. His injuries were just the excuse she was looking for to leave, for she already had had a foot out the door before the Thames.

"Did you think I'd suddenly expect you to be some brilliant fucking society wife if we got married? That I'd have you stuff yourself into gowns and pretend to be someone other than you - the person I fucking love?" He exploded then, taking only the hint of a step forward. Already, his leg was threatening to give out from underneath him and the thought of having this argument while sitting made him nauseous. "You conjured up some lie and convinced yourself that was what I wanted. When really, all I fucking wanted was not having to worry about what anyone thought if they saw me out with you. That's it, Winnie. That's all I fucking wanted." Dory could live without children or the glamour of society life. He didn't mind going to the opera or ballets alone or with another friend if necessary. All Dory had hoped for was the possibility of peace and she never even thought that was an option.

"You're the only one who thinks you're not good enough for me. If all you think you are to me is my mistress then you might as well go. Nothing I say or do is ever going to convince you otherwise."

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