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Private
in another life
#1
October 21, 1893 — Harvest Festival, After This thread
Elias Grimstone

At some point, Evangeline had wandered out of the barn. She still had a glass of cider, which she was casually sipping while she moved through the crowd of people still there. Probably, she should head home soon. She'd quite reached the edge of her energy limit, but for some reason, she was reluctant to leave. It had been such a lovely day. And she rarely had such a pleasant time out of the house--though, admittedly, that might have bee at least partially her own fault.

Outside, there were still plenty of people around, and Eva drifted her way around the periphery, observing and sipping at her drink. There was a small group of men she passed in her circuit, and she wasn't sure why they drew her attention until her second loop, when her approach was timed with their separation, and she realized she recognized one of them.

Oh. It occurred to her, of course, that she should probably change her trajectory. He didn't seem to have seen her yet. But... well, she couldn't quite help herself--she was curious, and in the end, it wasn't really much of a fight with herself. She started walking towards Elias, and, when she reached him, she said, with a casualness that belied all sorts of things, "Fun event, isn't it?"


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#2
It had been a fun event, though there had been little enough time to take it all in properly – Mrs. Potts had enlisted his help for all manner of chores and errands and quick-fixes – and he was not in the habit of saying no to Daffy’s mother. But in between helping with the toy broom-making booth and carrying things, moving tables and replenishing stores of pumpkins and cider, he’d had some laughs with the Plunketts, and finally gotten to dance with Daff for a while – before it had been her turn to be pulled away.

Elias had lost sight of her some time ago, and had been milling around with a cider for a while since. He had just finished his glass, and glanced up just in time to see –

“Evangeline,” he said, in spite of himself. (But it didn’t matter how many years it had been or how rarely he encountered her now; she had been Evangeline to him once, and he had never been able to stomach thinking of her as Mrs. Rowle, then.)

He nodded at the question, but was too surprised for any kind of eloquence about it. A smile tugged up at one side, in bemusement and a touch of long-buried affection, but – she looked well. That never stopped being a relief. “I didn’t know you were here.” (He hadn’t expected to see her here, because it wasn’t exactly her expected sort of scene – but that was why she was, of course, and it was nice to think that maybe she hadn’t changed too much from the Evangeline he’d known.)


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#3
Eva smiled, a little in spite of herself, at the familiarity. It would feel wrong, even after all this time, to be any other way, though. Certainly, she could never bring herself to think of him as anything so formal as Mr. Grimstone. Some things in this world should be allowed to be simple. So little else was.

"Elias." She tilted her head, half-acknowledgment, and half a motion of curiosity. "It seemed like something the children would enjoy," she explained, then laughed. "They've gone home already--completely worn out by today's activities. So I think it was a success." And of course, Eva wouldn't still be here if she wasn't also enjoying herself. She felt so much less pressure at something like this than at society balls and events.

Taking a sip of her cider, Evangeline did mean to ask next about what he'd done today, but somehow, instead, it came out as, "Your Miss Potts seems nice." And well, there was nothing for it now. Though she wasn't being facetious--Miss Potts had seemed nice when Eva spoke to her.


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#4
It was nice to hear her laugh – it was nice to hear that she could do things freely. He could only imagine that, had her husband still been living, she would not have gotten away so easily with bringing her children here. If it was still foreign to Elias to think of her as mother to children, that was just a truth that would never quite sink in. Still, he smiled, and had opened his mouth to ask how the children were, how she was, when –

Your Miss Potts. Elias was so startled he let out a laugh – she had said so so very casually – and he rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to cover his surprise. “She... she is,” he admitted first, face warm with affection, although nice felt like the most inadequate statement possible about Daffy. Nice wasn’t enough. “I didn’t know you’d met?” Elias said, with an inquiring tone: he felt nervous and curious and keen all at once, trying to read her gaze. To know if they knew each other, or if Evangeline had just seen her from afar; to know what they had said to each other, if they had met; to know if Daffy had known who she was; to know what Evangeline was really thinking now.

It was odd, wasn’t it, that he sincerely wanted her to approve? Elias had never met Rowle directly, but he had steadily resented the man beyond measure; but that whole case had been so different, and a long time ago. A life Eva had entered unwillingly. They had both been nursing wounds back then. Whereas – his courtship had been a choice, but it had been a cautious one, after so very long of wondering whether he would ever feel that way about someone again. And, however illogical the instinct was, he did want to know what Evangeline thought.


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#5
Evangeline felt the smile spreading across her face before she really understood the feeling she was experiencing. Oh. She was happy for him. Elias' happiness had been the thing she wanted most, once, though at the time she'd hoped he would be happy with her, obviously. But that time was well and truly gone, and it was a happy surprise that the feeling didn't make her sad anymore--not really. Sometimes she was sad for the girl she'd been once, someone who had deserved better, but the thought that they had both moved on to find their own happiness was not something to be sad about, she thought.

"I ran into her inside, at the refreshments," Eva said, holding up her cup in demonstration. "She was perfectly lovely." And, well, she--or anyone else for that matter!--had certainly better be, though she didn't voice that. "Are you..." She asked leadingly, gestured vaguely in a way that meant finish this sentence however you think is appropriate.



[Image: Evangeline-Sig.png]
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#6
“Yes,” Elias answered, unthinking and immediate, before he even registered what the question was or was not – she hadn’t even finished it. He wondered vaguely if he should be embarrassed; he wasn’t sure if his smile, growing a little broader now, held any chagrin or just a little furtiveness. He felt a laugh almost brimming again, at himself – at the way he felt so sure about this.

Because the answer was yes, whatever the question. (He was sorry if Evangeline hadn’t meant anything by it, but the thing about Eva was that she had always been far too easy to be honest with. Pretensions had always fallen away so naturally. Even here and now, she had been smiling at him, and it was impossible to even dream of lying to her.) Yes, I love her; yes, I’m going to marry her; yes, I’m happier than I ever thought I would be. “Yes,” he said again, biting his lip but nodding profusely. “I think I’d about given up on it all when I found her,” he admitted, “but...” Elias shrugged and smiled again, here we are; he was basking too much in his contentedness to mind if she laughed at him for it. Only now did he return to the question of their meeting at the refreshments, and – since he was already being entirely transparent – he decided he may as well ask, half-entertained and half-nervous. “What did you talk about?”


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#7
Evangeline's smile widened. "Good," she said. It was so strange, the difference in her feelings--once upon a time, something like this might have been cause for a despondent sadness--but there was a world of difference between the Evangeline of ten years ago and the Evangeline of tonight. Quite a lot of those ten years had been very, very bad, and she would never say the vast majority of it was in any way worth the trouble, but she was so much happier now, and all she really wanted for Elias was to see him happy, too.

"Oh, nothing of much note," Evangeline said. "The festivities, mostly."



[Image: Evangeline-Sig.png]
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#8
“Oh,” Elias said, surveying her to be sure she was telling the whole story by that; he had had to wonder if they had talked about him. But – Daff probably wouldn’t know Evangeline’s story. That had all been too long ago, and Daffy wasn’t one for idle society gossip, besides.

“Yes, and her mother’s made use of every pair of hands she can to make sure everything’s just so,” he joked lightly, with a vague wave about the place. Even if this was the Plunketts’ party, the Potts didn’t seem to be far off.

“I’m – glad you like her,” he added, in more earnest now: his brow furrowed ever so slightly to say you do honestly like her, don’t you? He shot her a smile, more wry. “Is that strange?” It probably was, because he would once have given up anything he had to marry her. But of course that could not have been. And he could hardly say when all that pain had become water under the bridge to him – only that he would never quite forgive himself for the sprawling suffering his presence in her orbit, however temporary, had permanently cost her.

(Elias had gotten off lightly in the wake of it, all things considered. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to move on, to be the one who made it to happy first.)


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#9
"Probably," Evangeline said, but she was smiling. "Though you know I've never cared much for convention." She thought, frankly, that it was about time that they should find happiness--they were both well overdue for it, even if their paths were separate. And though Eva thought that she enjoyed her independence far too much to seek out love again for herself, she wanted it for Elias. He deserved it. Even if, selfishly, she was a little glad the time had come only once she could bear the thought of it without pain.

"I think," Eva said after a moment, "that I would want the same. If I found someone, I would want you to like him." If nothing else, she would trust his judgment more than her own family's--which might have been a greater compliment under better circumstances, but the intent was good.


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#10
He couldn’t help it, it was just too authentically Evangeline – the comment about convention made him grin. It was nice to know she hadn’t changed in every way – they were both older and less naive; perhaps more bitter – but she was obviously still as firmly determined as she ever had been.

And he let out a breath, a slight huff of laughter, when she didn’t make too much fun of his absurdity in wanting her approval. His smile turned a little more thoughtful when she brought up the prospect in reverse. If she was still enough like her old self, he thought it probable that he would like anyone she chose for herself – her late husband, whom of course she had not, had not been the sort of man he would have ever wished on her even with what little he had known of him. (He had never quite forgiven her family for forcing her into such an arrangement to begin with, though he knew he had been partly to blame for the circumstance.)

“Well, I’d be pleased to meet him,” and offer my opinion, Elias said, light and half-joking. It was that joking tone and a teasingly-raised-eyebrow that allowed him to blatantly overstep anew – although, he reminded himself, she had brought up Daff first, so really it was fair game. “...I don’t suppose there’s anyone particular on the cards yet?” She had been a widow for some years, after all, and so hopefully freer to do as she chose.




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#11
Evangeline laughed. It wasn't an unreasonable question by any means, but the idea at this stage felt nearly laughable to her. Not because she didn't understand the appeal--she was a still a woman, with womanly needs, and just because she was used to... taking care of things herself didn't mean it wasn't incredibly lonely sometimes. Or that she hadn't been bereft of emotional intimacy for a very long time. It's not like Edward had been particularly useful--or welcome--in either respect.

"No," Eva said, her tone amused. "I think it will take a rare man indeed to be a more attractive option than independence." Certainly at this point, anyway. "Though I'm not against one trying." She might be lonely, but Evangeline was in a position to be picky. She could afford to be, and that was a sense of power that had not lost its luster in the years since her husband's death.


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#12
He didn’t think he was sorry for her, that she may not have anyone on the cards – she did not sound altogether sorry about it. But his smile might have softened, just a fraction, all the same, to think of her steadily alone.

But she didn’t seem walled up against it, had said she was not against someone trying – Elias surveyed her a little more thoughtfully now, sure he could see something of himself mirrored there. “Oh, independence,” he said, tone still airy and joking – but his expression made it clear he knew that notion well. It was something he had always fallen back on, too, the consciousness that at least he was in control of his own life, and happy alone. Even when things had been miserable, after – Elias had retained his freedom, his passion and his work. Independence was too valuable a thing to lose lightly. He had never been sure he would give it up.

But then along had come Daff, to throw caution to the wind in his life as it had settled around him. “I imagine someone will be up to the challenge,” he only said lightly. A rare man, maybe; but there were good people out there, and to know Eva was to admire her.


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#13
"Maybe," Eva allowed. Maybe. If there was one thing Evangeline had learned, it was that she'd much rather be alone than be unhappy with anyone. If she ever remarried, she would have to be sure. Or as sure as anyone ever could be.

"Well," she said at last, holding up the remnants of her drink in a toast. "Here's to the future, then." She smiled. It can't be worse than the past, she thought, but didn't say, if only because she thought it would sour the mood. And there'd been more than enough time already to dwell on the past, already.



[Image: Evangeline-Sig.png]
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#14
Elias mimicked her toast, still smiling at her – it felt indulgent somehow, being here with her and so at ease, full to bursting as he was with hopes for the future. “To the future. Both of our futures,” he added. May it be the future you deserve.

Without meaning to, thinking again of his future had him thinking about Daffy; his eyes drifting over people’s heads, searching for her amongst the crowd. She had spoken to Evangeline earlier, but still – he wasn’t sure he wanted her to find him here, and for him to have to introduce them properly. Only because it might make things awkward – make Daff awkward, if she felt wrongfooted by it. And it – hadn’t been awkward, seeing Eva again. Actually...

“I’ll let you get on,” he said, because if he didn’t find Daff soon Mrs. Potts would probably find another half-hour errand for him to run, and Evangeline probably had other friends to see. (Other friends. Did that mean they were possibly friends, now, in this day and age? That was – new, but if so, it was nice.) “It’s been good to see you, though.”




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#15
"It's been good seeing you, too," Evangeline said, and she found she was still smiling as they parted. It was probably time for her to go home anyway--it was a high note to end the night on.



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