January 15th, 1892 — Johnstone, Scotland

Jo hadn't slept a wink. The nerves of what she was to face come the afternoon had ate at her until she could do nothing but lay in bed staring hopelessly at the ceiling. She was to see Zach again after nearly a year of separation and, while the part of her that remained in love with him was giddy at the prospect, Jo couldn't quite shake the growing sense of dread.

Everything she knew of his character stated that Zach would accept Ilona as his without question. How they would manage the future was a far more difficult question, but he wouldn't deny their daughter. However, a year apart might have altered his opinion. He might question whether he was in fact Ilona's father (a fair question) or he might deny to involve himself in her life due to her status as a bastard. There was little question in Jo's mind that he would've married her had she informed him of the pregnancy whatever the scandal. Only, those days had long since passed. Ilona was nearly two months old now and was far too old for Zach to risk the fallout.

She dressed warmly in her best dress, taking great care to look respectsble. Mrs. Ives, the innkeeper, had taken a shine to Ilona and how intrigued the baby was when awake, which gave Jo enough room to venture out without much fear. She couldn't be gone more than a few hours, not with her cow-like duties being what they were. Still, an hour or two with Zach was better than none at all, even if he would despise her for the situation they were now in.

Once Ilona was settled, Jo walked the short distance between the inn and the pub and settled herself in a back corner booth. Although they were in a muggle area with few to recognize them, she didn't wish to chance being overheard. The last thing either of them needed were their families becoming involved before they figured out what was to be done. Jo ordered a drink for them both, more because she needed something to do with her hands than a desire for alcohol. She hoped it wasn't presumptuous of her to order his drink, but if it saved them even five minutes of awkwardness wouldn't it be worth it?

After several minutes of fidgeting with her glass whilst staring at the door, she finally saw him. Standing from the booth, Jo resisted the overwhelming need to rush forward and embrace him. Instead, she remained rooted in place with a polite, albeit tense, smile plastered across her features. "Hello," Jo softly greeted. "Thank you for coming."

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Zach had spent a good chunk of the evening pacing about the cottage. When that didn't banish his thoughts, he collapsed into an armchair and tried to bury his worries with a book. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, he had clearly only succeeded in depriving himself of sleep.

Instead of his leisurely morning routine that consisted of tea, the Prophet, and a brisk walk with Ivan, Zachariah had painstakingly ensured that his appearance wasn't met with rumpled hair and ink stained sweaters. He even tamed his beard somewhat, which received a few eyebrow raises from the shop staff. Mercifully, the only soul who commented had been his manager who merely stated that he 'looked more like himself' today.

The morning dragged, and even a lively search for a specific book on kelpies couldn't distract him. When it was finally time to set out, he stepped through the floo without so much as a 'good afternoon' to those around him. His sense of direction wasn't as good as Jo's, so he was glad he had built in extra time to ask a muggle whether or not he had taken a wrong turn.

Zach shouldered open the pub door slowly, his eagerness becoming nibbled away by nerves. Part of him feared that Jo wouldn't be inside, having taken off to whichever corner of the Earth called to her this time. However, the woman who greeted him from a far corner was unmistakably her.

"Jo." It took all he had not to reach out and take her hands. To pull her close to him. Instead, he came to a halt a respectable distance away, a polite smile on his face. It was only the creases next to his eyes that gave away his relief. He quickly took her in, his breath hitching as it so often did. She looked, different, somehow, more filled out. Zach smiled again, "Thank you for seeing me." He tried to keep his tone even, but his question held hints of concern. "Are you well?"

  

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Seeing him again was both an incredible relief and a second bout of shuddering heartbreak all at once. It was as though a years worth of fear, longing, desperation and joy were happening all over again. Every unsent letter, every prayer said in his behalf, every moment with their daughter had led them here, to this pub, to this moment full of unspoken love and tension. Perhaps they stood a chance this time. Maybe they could claw their way to happiness somehow.

Except, this wasn't - and couldn't be - about their relationship. Too much trust and faith had been lost for them to slip back into any familiar patterns. They'd been caught by his sister last time when it was just them. Jo couldn't envision Juliana forgiving or remaining mum about a baby. Not when the last time had ended so terribly.

No, for once in her life Jo had to remain unselfish. Ilona had to come before all else.

"Of course." She gestured for him to sit and did the same, more because she was afraid of collapsing before him than any attention they might have attracted. "I'm well. And you? How do - how fares the shop?" Jo was struggling to keep her voice level and her expression pleasant, but thought she managed it for the minute at least. "How is your family?"

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Just the proof that Jo was alive and seemed to be unharmed was enough for him to relax some tension he held in his face. His strained smile remained, unsure how much emotion he should show since his traitorous heart screamed at him to simply take her into his arms and never let go. No, he would go at her speed. He would remain cordial and engage in small talk, leaving dozens of unanswered questions to simmer. Until she was ready. If she was ready.

Zach took the offered seat and perched himself in the polite way his mother had taught him. Any ease and slouching he had grown accustomed to around Jo was missing. "I am also well. The shop continues to thrive." Not that he would ever mention the months that he had spent neglecting it. Nor the travels he had taken in hopes of escaping the life he had been dreaming he and Jo would share in Hogsmeade.

"My family is well. Hugo took off to America, so it has been relatively quiet." At that, he allowed a small smirk to cross his lips, a bit of his usual humor peeking through. When it came time for him to continue the conversation, he faltered. "Where..." He cleared his throat. "Is your family well?" Had she even visited them? This muggle town seemed an odd place for the Smiths to take a holiday. Perhaps, they were still cross that she had disappeared.

  

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"I'm glad to hear it." Jo earnestly replied. The shop was always the largest concern of their relationship, as so much of its success relied upon Zach's flawless reputation. Few would frequent the store if they knew he had a mistress, even less would come if he had an acknowledged bastard. If they could have no continued happiness, it was a relief to know he would still have the safety and comfort of his shop.

She couldn't help the frown that crossed her feautures at the mention of her family. While she didn't blame them for blackening her name off the family tree, it remained a sore spot for her. Coming home for her mother's death so soon after leaving - especially whilst still in the midst of her crisis and denial - wasn't a feasible choice. Perhaps they would have been more forgiving if she had been able to offer an explanation, but even she didn't quite understand what exactly had caused her to fall into such a state. Even she couldn't adequately explain her need to flee.

Jo reached for the handle of her glass as her eyes left his for the first time since arrival. "They're well, I believe. It's been some time since I last saw them." Not even Saturn, who was the sibling Jo was closest to, would speak to her now. "Earth has a new book coming out soon, I think."

It was her turn now to continue this awkward conversation but she had no idea of what to say next. Would it be wise to just jump in and confess to why she had summoned him out of the blue? Should she ask more questions about Hogsmeade? Jo was always the sort to rush in without thought or care, only now so much hung in the balance. Sighing softy, she looked back up towards him without any continuation of their conversation.

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Zach merely nodded at the news of Jo's family, not particularly taking note of Earth having a new book. The fact that she clearly hadn't returned to reunite with them had his eyebrows furrowing. Had she taken a new job? He supposed that Scotland likely had a few archeological sites, but he wasn't knowledgeable enough to know if any were located near Johnstone. In fact, he knew very little of the town that they were currently in aside from its name.

He reluctantly allowed the awkward silence to spread, unsure what sort of safe topic they should direct their attention to next. He yearned to learn the truth of her disappearance and sudden return. He had received little correspondence from her, while he had nearly written her daily at the beginning. Any other person might be furious, but Zach was just heartbroken. He had replayed their final weeks over and over in his head, trying to determine what could have been done differently.

"Are you in Scotland long?" He finally decided on. It was open-ended enough that Jo could merely meet the query with a yes or a no, or she could elaborate. He wouldn't pry, though he desperately wished to demand answers.

  

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"I ... I'm not sure." There was little chance of her remaining nearby should he reject Ilona. Jo could tolerate the repeating heartbreak if he were to accept Ilona but abandon their relationship. She could handle sacrificing time with her daughter and respecting Zach's rights. Merlin, she could even withstand him remarrying so long as his new wife treated Ilona right. But, she absolutely refused to coexist so near to him if she had made an error in trusting his kind heart. To do so would be unbearable.

She twirled the glass in her hands, desperate for a momentary distraction. Jo had to elaborate on her answer before he assumed the worst and left, she had to tell him the truth.

"We - you - I - we have -" Jo stuttered out, faltering just short of the full reason for their meeting today. Merlin, how was she to go back to the inn as if nothing had happened if he walked away? She couldn't break down in front of the innkeeper without providing an explanation, and any explanation she could think of would see her immediately expelled from the establishment.

Panic took over then as she looked sharply from him and towards the front door. Perhaps this was a mistake, maybe he was better off not knowing. Ignorance was bliss, wasn't it? Besides, what could he do with the knowledge anyway? A lump formed in her throat as her hand gripped the glass tighter. Fuck, this was a mistake.

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He tried to hold back the slight frown that tugged at his lips, but he was unsuccessful. Part of him had been hoping that she would be in Scotland long enough for them to mend things. At least to the point of their friendship returning. Even if they couldn't be anything more than that, Zach would at least be content in the fact she had returned to his life in some form.

"You're not sure?" He echoed her words, trying to be patient, trying to give her time to elaborate.

When Jo's words failed, and she glanced toward the door, he nearly reached out to touch her arm. To lay his hand upon her sleeve to encourage her to stay. To give her encouragement to say what she needed. But he didn't move. She would just push him away. That would cause her to disappear again, and then where would they be?

"Jo--" Zach began, his gaze returning to her face, expression softening. "You don't..." Owe me an explanation. But she did. He frowned at his own words, shaking his head. His arm crept across the table without realizing, but he instead reached for the second drink he assumed was his, just for something to hold. "Take your time." He settled on, his voice soft.

  

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Zach would despise her if she left again. Gone would be any sympathy, kindess or generosity. To have summoned him here and abandon him without any explanation for either would be the last straw. Jo had to see this through, even if telling him now frightened her to no end.

The dam burst then, it was the only way to describe the sudden desperate nature of her ramble. "You have to understand, I didn't know when I left." Not truly, not in any way that made sense. Even if she had known it wouldn't have altered the situation. Jo would have found a potion or spell to rid herself of the baby and then leave, which now having met and loved upon Ilona filled her with shame. "I didn't know for months, really. Not until it was impossible to ignore anymore." The day her dress became too tight to lace comfortably was the day she fell apart with the realization. By then it was midsummer and there was nothing left to do but wait for the baby to arrive.

"I wasn't sure I was going to keep her, either. I even went as far as to find a family that would adopt her. They were kind people, she would've been okay with them. But then she was here and I couldn't bear to part from her, however selfish a decision that was." She still hadn't said the piece that would tie the realization together for him. However, when Jo went to at the end of her ramble her throat was so dry no other words would come.

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   Zachariah Binns

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Jo's stream of words caught him somewhat off-guard. It was as if she had begun her explanation in her head and suddenly started to voice it. He struggled to follow along for the first few sentences, even more questions compounding the ones he was already struggling to hold back. What hadn't she known?

Months?

It wasn't until adoption was mentioned that Zach connected the dots. Did she--? Had they--?

Merlin.

"Sh-she?" He managed to stammer out, the shock clear on his face. "Do you mean you...we--?" He nearly stood up, ready to pace and process, but he willed himself to remain where he was. He gaped at Jo, but nowhere in his expression was anger. He gave her a questioning look, hoping that she would either confirm his suspicions or somehow clear up what was going on.

"Jo?"

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   Jupiter Smith

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Zach didn't appear to be angry, or if he was it was fully obscured by shock and confusion. A messy ramble hadn't been how she intended to share the news, so his confusion was justified. Her panic relaxed its death grip on her need to flee. She still believed this to be a mistake, still thought he'd been better off in his ignorance from two minutes ago. Only now she owed him explanations for stealing his peace.

"Ilona. Her name is Ilona." Jo confessed in a steady but quiet tone. "She was born in late November." She wondered if he would follow the math to learning the baby was conceived when her downward spiral began. Ilona looked like Zach, that much was true, but how much of that was Jo seeing only what she wished? There had been other men during her last days in London, after all. Merlin, she prayed he never questioned it.

Jo pulled hands into her lap to nervously twist her fingers. While maintaining eye contact she added, "she's your daughter."

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   Zachariah Binns

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Zach mentally ticked back the months, lips pursed in concentration. The math added up. Not that he expected her to lie to him about something so--

A daughter.

"Ilona," he repeated, a smile this time gracing his face as he recognized the origin. "Such a beautiful name." And did the babe share her mother's piercing eyes? Her smile?

Before he could stop himself, a query came in a rush of words, "Can I meet her?" To confirm this was the truth. To determine if she was truly theirs. To--

Merlin, what were they going to do? A bastard. What sort of life would she have? Could her parents ever repair what lay shattered? Zach's head swam with the revelation, worries starting to accumulate like a blizzard. What were they going to do?

But--A daughter.

Ilona.

Theirs.

"Where have you been living? Are you and the babe safe?"

  

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Jo watched in silence as he processed through all she had revealed. She had had months to come to terms with the knowledge, Zach deserved more than five seconds to consider it all himself. When she realized she was almost scrutinizing his reaction, Jo dropped her eyes down to her clasped hands. Minutes to process and whatever vague sense of privacy he could find in a pub seemed a fair exchange to grant.

After what felt like an eternity he finally spoke and she lifted her head to see the tail end of his smile. He understood where the name had come from then and, more importantly, he didn't resent her for calling back to that much happier time. Jo gave a small smile of her own. Perhaps they would find a way to manage after all.

"Yes. She's with the innkeeper right now, but I can bring her to you later if you'd like." Zach and Ilona meeting was all she had dreamt of in the final month of her pregnancy, and now that it was here Jo found that she was impatient. He seemed so accepting of it already, so willing to at least privately acknowledge their daughter. Jo didn't dare hope for more.

"We have been staying at an inn nearby here, we're safe." The owners believed her to be a young widow focusing on reestablishing connection with her family after years of distance, not that Jo would share that piece of information with him. "She's a perfect little thing." Jo added, this time with a brighter smile.

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There was no doubt that, in private, all the logistics and consequences of this revelation would plague him, and he would be forced to face the hard questions head on. But now was not that time. This reunion was fragile at best, and, if he were to keep both in his life, he would have to tread carefully. Jo had already proved that running was a viable option. He couldn't lose her again. Them.

"Yes, I would very much wish that," he replied, smile soft. There had been a time when he had dreamed of the family they could create together, but he had never imagined this would be how it came about. What were they going to do? He couldn't turn his back on them, but what sort of life could he provide if it was rocked with scandal?

No, those queries needed to wait.

"I am pleased you are safe. Have you been here this entire time?" He had been under the impression she had sailed off overseas. If Jo hadn't even left the continent, he would not be able to control the hurt and disappointment. So many unanswered letters, and she hadn't even been far.

"I am sure she is."

  

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Every carefully constructed sentence by him was further proof that their relationship could and would never be what it once was. Her leaving had destroyed any playfulness and ease they'd established in their few months together. Perhaps one day they would discover the way to forge a path back to one another, but that day was years away. By then Zach might not even want to try.

The important fact here that Jo had to remind herself to cling to was that he hadn't outright denied Ilona's parentage. If anything, wanting to meet her was the sign that he would accept her in whatever meager way he could. Obviously, Zach could never be publicly acknowledge Ilona, to do so would mean ruin for himself and his family. But, perhaps in time she could find a cottage near his and they could work out a schedule for him to visit with Ilona.

Jo took a small sip of her drink to wet her throat. "No, I only arrived here a few weeks ago." She then answered once her glass was back on the table. "I was in the Southern States for most of the time I was away. Georgia, mainly. Originally, the thought was to head West but that didn't work out." She'd made it as far West as Tennessee but once the pregnancy became obvious she headed back towards the coastal towns in Georgia. Somehow, being near the sea was a comfort.

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The news that Jo hadn't just been lurking around the area for months had him appearing a bit relieved, not that he had wished she had taken off overseas. Part of Zach still blamed himself, deciding he had pushed her too much, too far. He would have to try harder this time. If there even was to be a this time.

"Georgia," he repeated with a nod, trying to carefully carry on the conversation without sounding as if he was prying too much. "Were you there for a job, or...?" Just running away. He left the last bit unspoken, instead trying to appear like the trailing off was just a chance for her to fill in any sort of blank.

"I am pleased to see you on this side of the pond again, Jo."

  

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