September 13, 2020 – 4:29 PM
The running, the whispering, the avoiding his game, and yet still she expected him to believe it was her. If they'd been closer in height he might have been able to discern her expression, but she was looking down and he was unable to make out anything but her messy braid and freckled forehead. Hand still wrapped around her wrist, he brought his other hand up to her face and slowly angled her chin towards him. His expression was soft and worried; he wasn't going to argue with her, but by letting her run off with no explanation he knew there was no way he was going to sleep well that night. She was usually so vocal, wearing her heart on her sleeve; it was so unlike her to be so quiet and secretive, even with him. It was so confusing!
"I know we agreed not to worry about the little things, but this doesn't seem little," he breathed, shaking his head. He'd tried to figure it out, but nothing big had happened that should have caused this. When they fought, it was loud and expressive—he almost preferred it to the silent, awkward tension that had been growing between them since quidditch tryouts. He was at least glad no one was around to witness this. The last thing they needed was rumors or questioning when Cameron still had no idea what in Merlin's name was happening. "Please tell me what's going on. I know it's normal to want to run away from homework, but it's worrying when you actually do." He tried to make a joke, to lessen the tension, but his frown endured.
September 13, 2020 – 4:51 PM
Last modified: September 13, 2020 – 5:03 PM by Sloane Bixby.
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
Too close. He was way too close and she couldn't think straight. What in the name of Merlin's actual beard was wrong with her?! With one hand on her wrist and one on her chin, she couldn't go anywhere and couldn't see through the threatening tears and the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him again.
"I can't," She managed, barely holding back the threatening sob. "It changes everything and I can't do it." She met his eyes for the first time, tears welling up in the corners. "I can deal with it, if you just let me go." She wasn't even sure if it would be possible to bounce back from this, but she had to try.
September 13, 2020 – 5:04 PM
No, this made absolutely no sense. Sloane had only cried once, and that was during their fight over the summer, and at least then there'd been a clear explanation for it. Despite growing up with a little sister and having a friend group comprised of mostly girls since starting Hogwarts, he'd never been good at handling the hysterics. He panicked and had no idea what to say, no way to know what would make everything better. He was used to sitting awkwardly with his friends while they lamented about their latest worries, no words escaping his mouth beyond the occasional joke or hum in solidarity. With Sloane, it was different: he wanted to help solve her problems, but had none of the practicality or understanding of the problem to help her. All he could do is be sad with her.
"Wait, wait," he hushed, his hand slipping from her chin. He would have dropped her wrist, too, but she was so worked up that he could almost guarantee that she would attempt to flee again. He'd always thought she was more of a 'fight' instead of a 'flight' type of girl, but it seemed he'd been wrong. "What changes? What can't you do? It doesn't... I don't..." He looked at her expectantly.
September 13, 2020 – 5:19 PM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
Just listening to her plea would be too easy for them. On some level she was thankful for his persistence; he was a good friend after all, but it was making things harder. "I can't tell you what's wrong because it will change our whole friendship and I can't do that again." She had to make it clear somehow, be specific without actually giving herself away.
"I know it doesn't make sense, but I can't explain. How could she make him see what she couldn't even accurately explain? All she wanted to do right now, as she looked up at him with, concern clear on his features, was kiss him and that obviously wasn't an option. He wouldn't understand that either. "I'll figure it out, I just need some time to think." Hopefully.
September 13, 2020 – 5:59 PM
Her attempts to halt his questioning did nothing but prompt newer, much bigger questions. What she was hiding had the potential to change their friendship, and that alone was enough to set off a series of alarms in his head. He couldn't ruin their friendship. Not again. He'd agreed to be more vulnerable, more open, and to try his best to get along, and now there was something that only she knew that had the potential to hurt them again. It was scary and confusing, but it was enough to stop the questions—for now. He couldn't handle another fight.
His gaze dropped from her face, and in the same moment he dropped her wrist.
"Whatever, Sloane," he said, his tone exhausted and his expression dejected. It felt like they were falling back in to the old pattern of poor communication, but things were different now. Back then they'd fought because he'd been insensitive and pushed her to the point of anger. Now she was withholding information and keeping secrets, and he couldn't push her anymore without making himself look like an arse who didn't know the meaning of boundaries. "I just wish you would trust me. It hurts." As if he hadn't been the one willing to corner her in an alleyway to fix their friendship. Did she really think he was going to let their friendship be ruined by whatever was bothering her? There was no logic behind any of this. "But if you need to think, I won't bother you about it anymore. I'll let it be."
September 13, 2020 – 7:42 PM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
That dejected look on his face was breaking her heart and she very nearly couldn't stand it. It also stung to hear he thought she didn't trust him, which wasn't the case, not at all. It was her she didn't trust, catching feelings like this when she knew she shouldn't. She could understand why he felt that way though. They'd agreed to be more open and honest, but this was going too far... wasn't it?
Maybe he did have the right to know, to make his own choice on the matter. She clearly wasn't doing a very good job of preserving their friendship right now either. At least she would much rather it be her fault this time. If she told him then it was out there and he could do with it what he wanted, are could deal with the fallout.
Carefully she reached out to take his hand. "I do trust you, I don't trust me." Clearly she sucked at just being friends. "I'm sorry, I value our friendship too much, I know I'm hard to be friends with. I know that better than anyone else," He'd fought so hard for their friendship this summer when she'd been prepared to let go. "I just- I can't lose you over the fact that I don't want to be just friends anymore." What that meant at fourteen she had no idea. But it just had to mean something.
September 13, 2020 – 8:07 PM
He was used to being confused with the way girls dealt with his emotions, especially when that girl was Sloane. Cameron was used to going through the motions of fighting and then making up; they’d yell and scream one moment and hug the next, and then everything would be alright. This was different. This was not a fight, but it wasn’t not a fight. This was a similar checkpoint to the one they’d faced in the alleyway, a choice: come to an understanding or face another lengthy period of avoidance and silent treatments.
Only thing time it was a one-sided fight, and Cameron was left to overanalyze every word that left her mouth to make out some meaning (and from history, that usually went poorly). It all came to a halt when she grabbed his hand, and he stared at her with wide brown eyes, not at all understanding her meaning. Not at first.
She didn’t trust herself. She was difficult to be friends with. And—then—she couldn’t just be friends. Though not oblivious to the touchiness, the blushing, and the bashfulness, he did not allow himself to see the meaning for what it was. (But what did it mean?)
He squeezed her hand instinctively, for a moment amused that it was small enough to be completely enveloped my his much larger one like he’d once considered. But then he was looking back at her, expression soft yet confused.
“Just friends?” he asked, having long learned not to make assumptions. (And this would be the worst thing to make assumptions about.)
September 13, 2020 – 8:33 PM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
Subtlety was out the window apparently. He either didn't understand what she meant or needed her to be more specific. The squeeze of his hand was reassuring though and she was able to reign in the surge of emotions. "That morning I ran back to get my transfiguration book? I had some overwhelming jealousy problems because you kept talking about Miss Bonaccord so fondly." She bushed in earnest now. If she was telling the truth, she might as well get it all out.
Part of the problem was, she wasn't completely sure that she wasn't the only one who fancied Cam. It had been a huge part of not wanting to say anything, but her friendship with Cam was too much to lose and she didn't want him thinking this was his fault or that she didn't want to be honest with him. Now what frightened her was that she'd said too much. It feel like there was no winning.
"Being on display with the palm reading was too much. It was so accurate, I was terrified about what would come next, I didn't know what to do with my feelings, so I ran." Damn divination would out her before she could wrap her head around it.
September 13, 2020 – 8:55 PM
Oh. As her meaning dawned on him, his frown turned up into a smug half-smile, and a blush grew on his cheeks. Sloane was jealous. He might had laughed if there hadn’t been so much tension in the air around them. Thinking back on the past few weeks, the jealously seemed obvious, but more than anything it seemed silly.
“Miss Bonaccord? Sixth year, could-probably-buy-my-family’s-home-with-her-dowry-alone Miss Bonaccord?” he asked, unable to stop a chuckle from escaping his throat. “That’s silly, Sloane. I’ve only talked to her a handful of times in my life.” Miss Bonaccord! Who knew?
The palm-reading was... understandable, at least. Her palm had all too accurately aligned with her person, and that was before he’d reached the love lines, marriage lines, and everything that ventured into speculative territory. Still, if only he’d been paying attention to her more carefully, he should have been able to piece everything together.
“So you were jealous because you... like... me?” He fought back a smile as he met her eyes, and he felt his cheeks warm. He wasn’t sure what to do with the information, but it was nice to know that she didn’t think of him as a lesser to Ned. Or maybe she did. Those weren’t mutually exclusive ideas, were they? He squeezed her hand again, because that was easy. He didn’t know what he could do.
September 13, 2020 – 9:12 PM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
If she wasn't sure punching him right now would completely ruin the moment, she would have when the smug smile returned to his face. "Yes, well, she she's very pretty and tall and still plays quidditch..." Things Sloane was not. "Enough to bring her up in letters and at breakfast." She pointed out.
Everything circled back to her admission and she was pretty sure her cheeks were as pink as the ends of her braid was turning. She let it happen, though, too focused on not making a further fool of herself. This hadn't gone poorly though, he was still holding her hand and hadn't run away screaming, so at least there was that
"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" Merlin's beard it explained everything. What happened next was really what kept her from moving though... Did he possibly feel the same?
September 13, 2020 – 9:30 PM
Pretty, tall, and quidditch-playing, and he'd talked about her, what, twice? He had to laugh. "I'm not sure why you're worried about that. You're very pretty, play quidditch, and—well—maybe not tall, but I like that you're short," he said, as if she ought to know that by now. He lifted his free hand and twirled a finger around her now bright pink braid. "I don't think Miss Bonaccord can do this either," he added, giving it a little tug. She'd said she'd learned to control it, but it seems she has a little ways to go. It didn't matter to him, though; he preferred it pink.
It did really explain everything. Now he felt silly for getting so worked up over the bracelet he'd bought her, and even more silly for assuming she didn't like it. If she liked him—really liked him—it made sense that she would have liked the bracelet whether or not she was a bracelet type of girl. He peeked down at their joined hands. The sight of the little sunflower charm peeking out from under her robe made heart skip a beat.
"And to think I spent all summer believing you fancied Ned." Once again, maybe she did. Maybe she liked them both. He still wasn't convinced that he could possibly be more likable than his more successful dorm-mate. She wasn't the only one who'd been battling with jealousy.
September 13, 2020 – 10:27 PM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
That was a stretch, but she'd take it. She grinned slowly when he gave her braid a little tug, like always, but this time it felt just a little different. At least the pink was working for her here. Still betraying her emotions, but for the better this time.
Sloane chuckled at the mention of Ned. Though handsome (that did not go unnoticed) and his overall likeability, Ned had been placed pretty firmly in the "big brother" category- for the most part. "Well, it is Ned." He was such a good guy, it was impossible not to like him really, but she didn't like him like that.
"Sooo now what?" It was an easy assumption now, to say this wasn't one-sided, but that didn't bring her any closer to what it all meant now.
September 13, 2020 – 10:49 PM
Well, it is Ned, wasn't enough to completely rid of his jealousy, but he chose to internalize it rather than question her. He didn't like sharing his feelings, and there was no point in doing so while she was openly admitting to fancying him. There was still that question though: what next? He'd spent so long wondering how to navigate his feelings from the safety of his own mind, but never about navigating them... externally. There wasn't much they really could do; they were at school, and boys and girls were forbidden from being alone together in most circumstances, let alone anything that would give anyone the impression that their feelings went beyond friendship. He knew he'd fail miserably at the task of pretending the were just friends if that was the only option, especially when they were alone.
"Nobody can know," he sighed, taking her other hand in his. They were alone in the small corridor outside the common room, and they would have to be alone any time they wanted to acknowledge these... feelings. They couldn't tell Sisse, Calla, Alice, Maddy, Alcyone, and certainly not Ned, who had decided that his duty to his badge was more important than protecting his friends from lost points. "But..." His voice grew quiet, almost bashful, "I wouldn't mind being able to do this when we're alone." He squeezed her hands and smiled; it was already so different from the awkward palm-reading session.
"Unless you don't want to, in which case I understand. Rules and... everything," he added, biting his lip.
September 14, 2020 – 12:44 AM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
Nobody could know. That was for certain. Sloane could easily agree to that. Considering her recent suspicions with her roommates, that was some unwanted drama she was not prepared for. Never in a million years had she thought she be willingly admitting her feelings to Cameron's face quite so soon, if at all.
"Agreed." Not only did this have the potential to ruin one friendship, but if word got out, it could cause a lot of awkwardness all around for a lot of people. If something went awry, which was also possible, it would get ridiculously hard to balance everything. She couldn't imagine something like this fracturing their friend group. How would she survive?
Pressing her lips together to smother another grin, she squeezed his hands back. "Rules," She snorted. She'd never been one to strictly follow the rules. This was undoubtedly going to make it much harder too.
September 14, 2020 – 1:04 AM
"Rules," he echoed, wondering how they would make time to be together. They'd always managed to find themselves together, but never just the two of them. There was always professors or other students around them, not always watching but always in the vicinity to see them. To be alone was against the rules—but, really, they were the two people who would probably manage. Rules were meant to be broken.
"Should we, um...?" He glanced over his shoulder, back in the direction of the common room, and then back to her. His eyes dropped from her eyes, to her lips, to their joined hands, and he did the best thing he could do without being anymore awkward than he needed to do: he lifted her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, pressing his lips tightly together to suppress the awkward chuckle that threatened to escape. He dropped her hands and shrugged mindlessly. So much for being a valiant gentleman. For all he spent around girls, he'd never really considered what he'd do once he had one to himself.
(Or maybe he'd never considered what he'd do once he had Sloane to himself.)
September 14, 2020 – 1:58 AM
Sloane Bixby — Played by Bee
Chuckling quietly, she bit her lip lightly, trying to keep in whatever little celebration she was feeling inside from getting out. They ought to get back. Ought to. There was something about the way he was currently looking at her that had her breath catching in her throat, especially as he lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles.
She glanced over his shoulder too, even as he let go of her hands, a blush creeping onto her cheeks at the thoughts of what else could be done with a couple minutes alone. It was probably for the best for now. "Did you need anything else for the Divination assignment?" She quirked an eyebrow at him with an amused smirk. At least it was an excuse to hold hands for a little while longer without drawing too much attention?
![[Image: Sloane-Sig94.png]](https://i.ibb.co/3SW30PV/Sloane-Sig94.png)