January 4, 2020 – 12:21 AM
Ursula Black — Played by Olive
January 3rd, 1890 — Rigel Hall, Cumbria
There wasn't long left now. The transformation of the people around her in the last few days was possibly more alarming to her than anything else. The healer's face had been full of confidence at first but now they looked pasty and stressed, their voice had been reduced to a low, quiet murmur when not addressing her and she assumed that was supposed to keep her from hearing the extent of her bleak prognosis so of course it had the opposite effect entirely. Not that she had the energy to externalize her fear anymore.
In the last few hours she had been working up the energy to have an important and probably her last proper conversation with her husband. Finally, the time seemed right so she asked for him. It was probably the first time she'd ever successfully summoned him to her, it was a shame it was only because she was dying.
"Phineas." She made a weak attempt to sit up in bed but gave up as soon as she felt her body railing against her. She extended a cold, clammy hand towards him hoping for a comforting gesture of some sort. He had one more healthy son, would he finally be pleased with her? That son had come at a high cost, although the full extent of which she was currently not fully aware, not that it would matter if she was dead. "What are they saying? How long...?" Her voice cracked and she let the second half of her sentence die in her throat. He'd surely catch her meaning anyway.
January 16, 2020 – 9:29 PM
Well wasn't this inconvenient.
Ursula would pick the most unsuitable time to fall deathly ill. He needed to return to school and she was fading away. The prognosis was not good, despite his paying for the highest quality healers. Apparently this last child was going to do her in.
His grumbles were a mask for the concern of course, as much as he enjoyed complaining about Ursula, he had never envisioned she'd die before him. So inconvenient. While dealing with the switching of healers, Phineas was interrupted by one of the staff to say his wife was asking after him. He gave the healer the eyebrow of, this conversation is not over before whisking away.
Upon entering, Phineas bristled at the feel of the room, though tried his best not to show it. He approached her bedside slowly, eyeing her carefully. Lowering himself to perch gently on the mattress, he looked her over and fought the urge to scowl. "I cannot get a solid answer." Tonight, days from now, a week at most. Nobody had a solid answer to meet his satisfaction. "I've asked for someone more competent to be sent over." He assured her, bedside manner no better than his everyday manner.
January 16, 2020 – 10:43 PM
Ursula Black — Played by Olive
If she cared to think about the last time Phineas had been so close to her bed she would realize it was what had put her where she was and she might very well rage at him to leave. That was not what was going through her head at present though. He hadn't taken her hand. Perhaps he hadn't noticed it. She moved it so he might notice it and take a hint from her upturned palm. "This might be the last time we speak then." Suddenly the desire to squeeze every last failed expectation from her marriage out of him here and now seemed overwhelming. Surely he would respect her deathbed wishes and oblige her?
Ursula willed him to discover some romantic impulse buried deep within him and to unleash it upon her. Let him get down on his knees and praise her beauty even in death. Would that he would take her hands in his and weep for her loss and declare long suppressed love for her. She wanted him to howl and curse the world for separating them so soon, make promises that should she survive that he would cherish her. Even some kind, vaguely sentimental words might just be enough.
"There are things we must speak of before it's too late..." There were genuinely things she wanted to say, things similar to what she'd put into letters for others, but first she wanted him to take that as a cue to unload his secret feelings for her or really anything that she could twist into something resembling affection.
February 6, 2020 – 4:01 PM
Oblivious to Ursula's inner turmoil, Phineas was too busy resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the drama she seemed to still be well enough to drum up. Phineas was certainly not a defeatist and despite the fact that nobody seemed to be able to assure him that she was not indeed dying, he was blatantly tucking that away to unpack later.
Still, it would be heinously disingenuous of him not to listen to what she had to say, so he simply quirked an eyebrow at her in response. "Something on your mind?"
February 8, 2020 – 2:43 AM
Ursula Black — Played by Olive
If nothing else he was at least consistent in his ability to disappoint her. Was he withholding tender words from her because he had none to give or because he thought she wasn't dead enough yet, even though she felt closer to it than ever and if he wasn't careful he'd miss his chance. Why couldn't she use the power of deathbed promises to make him love her just once, just for a moment? Couldn't he at least do her the courtesy of lying about it if he couldn't summon up genuine love for her?
She willed away the urge to cry with the thought that maybe he might yet give her what she wanted. Still it had robbed her of any inclination to start off with rosy sentiments as she had intended, instead she felt blunt and blunt was what she was. "Swear to me you'll never remarry, Phineas."
February 8, 2020 – 7:38 PM
Of all the things that Phineas had been expecting Ursula to say, that had certainly not been it. His brows furrowed in both confusion and consternation. Where in the name of Merlin's beard had that come from? "Ursula," He began, paused, trying to reason out what to say next, but unsure of what exactly the right answer was here. Having never considered the possibility of needing to remarry, especially at this point in his life, he felt like it should be an easy promise to make, but what about the children? Wouldn't they need more than a nanny and a governess in their lives? Certainly he could not ask Ella to take over raising his kids.
"I'm sure this will be an unnecessary discussion." He deflected, unsure of how to really answer and without time to think on it as he would like, perhaps he could feign enough optimism.
February 8, 2020 – 11:19 PM
Ursula Black — Played by Olive
She scowled which was actually more difficult than she'd expected it to be and so she didn't hold it there for long. She wanted to argue her mortality statistics with him but she was too tired, there were more important things to deal with. "If I live then it shouldn't matter. Swear to me you won't." She was trying to be firm about it but despite herself there was a hint of desperation in her voice that she wished she could take back. "You're hardly going to notice my absence anyway." Her voice cracked as she unintentionally rubbed salt in her own wounds and probably failed to make him feel guilty for his neglect at all.
February 9, 2020 – 2:36 AM
Last modified: March 2, 2020 – 1:47 AM by Phineas Black [Bee].
Phineas' scowl matched that if his wife, but his was deeper and more resigned; he likely had more practice with it. "I'm not doing this with you now." This was ridiculous.
"You should rest. We'll speak of any other matters later." The knock against his capabilities as a husband waa not lost on him; Phineas knew he was absent, neglectful really, but there were too many rifts between them to fully sew the divide back together. Still, he wasn't having this argument right now.
February 9, 2020 – 3:01 AM
Ursula Black — Played by Olive
"I may not have later," she hissed. It wasn't a conversation, she wasn't asking him and he had to know that, he couldn't have any intention of ever discussing it with her which meant a second marriage was clearly something he didn't want to rule out.
She tried as hard as she could to keep the tears at bay but she simply couldn't stop the slow trickle that began. "Swear it or not, but my dying wish is that you live out the rest of your days a widower." Why had she ever let herself believe that death would finally bring out affection from her cold, distant husband? If it were Thom at her bedside... "A man of honor - a true gentleman - would respect that." The silent tears started to fall faster into her pillow.
After a moment she concluded with a pitiful sob, "Have you really no love for me, even after all this time?"
