Dean felt as though his attempt to lighten the mood had missed the mark. The silence stretched on for a moment and Dean worried he'd said something upsetting. He'd always thought himself good with words, good enough to make a living out of them, in different languages, but he always seemed to bungle things when it came to Don Juan. That idiocy rearing its ugly head here and there to remind him just how stupid he could be some times, unintentionally.

"What's that look for?" He asked gently, turning his hand over to meet Don Juan's, fingertips dancing along skin as they made contact. He set his wine aside with his bandaged hand and put it gently atop the hand on his arm. "I thought it would help with the trial or maybe if she comes to live with you." Dean didn't know what the likelihood of any of this would, but his intentions were just that; practical, maybe bordering on optimistic. He still didn't know where he stood on the whole thing, nor did he know what sort of impact it would have in the long run. He was someone who grew up with a father he barely connected with, he had to assume the chance of a decent relationship was better than nothing at all?

---

  

---

Don Juan chewed his lower lip. He didn't know how to answer Dean's question. He could see the conversation playing out different ways depending on what he said, and none of them seemed particularly productive. He could respond with something maudlin and navel-gazing like just thinking about how much you're giving up being with me and Dean would assured him that he was worth all of the sacrifices because that was the sort of thing he always said, and Don Juan would think okay, but I'm not, but he wouldn't be able to say that because the conversation would just go in circles if he tried. He could try to brush it off with a joke about Dean showing him up if he knew more Dutch than Don Juan did by the trial date, but the last thing he wanted was for Hudson to suggest they learn together. He didn't want to get any better at Dutch — it felt almost invasive if Kaatjie did end up coming to live with the Dempseys, in a way Hudson learning it didn't. Presumptuous, that he might have assumed she would want to talk to him. She hadn't responded to his letter, after all.

"It's sweet, that's all," he said, trying to shrug off the sentiment that had settled on him. "It caught me off guard. But it's — you probably wouldn't ever talk to her," he said, hedging now. He didn't want Hudson to get too invested in this idea and then be crushed when it didn't pan out. Dean might make a good father, but Kaatjie wasn't his daughter — she was only barely Don Juan's. "I don't think we're going to win. And even if she did come live at the house, that's — there wouldn't be any reason for her to meet..." He waved his free hand vaguely. "...my friends."

He wouldn't have hesitated to bring Hudson back to meet anyone in his family, at any point... but Kaatjie was different. Kaatjie didn't know Don Juan as a person, and he thought it was probably better for her if it stayed that way. He wouldn't have been keen to introduce her to important people in his life any more than he would have been eager to involve her in his hobbies or talk to her about his interests in literature. She was supposed to stay at arm's length — for her own good.

---

  

---

MJ made this <3

It was hard to pinpoint the emotions that rolled through him, but Dean decided to keep them to himself. He managed a shrug, giving Don Juan's arm another squeeze before picking his wine back up. He was still going to finish learning the language, it was a good one to have in his arsenal, unusual, but useful. The more he knew, the more valuable he was at work. Even if it was only good for the trial, it would be worth it. Being sidelined for something that felt much bigger than it was being portrayed felt strange; Dean didn't know where he was supposed to be or what he was or was not supposed to do. He didn't want to insert himself where he wasn't wanted; he was limited from the start with how involved he could be; and he felt like Don Juan was being cagey about the whole thing. Maybe it would be better if he took a step back.

"Makes sense," he added after buying a minute by sipping his wine. It wasn't exactly rational to feel disappointed, so Dean tried to come up with a somewhat natural change in topic, but he couldn't quite determine what to go with. He could finesse superficial conversations in his sleep, but they'd never had the best results when having more serious conversations and he didn't want to spoil the mood. Sorting through his own thoughts on the matter could wait until another time when he had more leisure to think them through. "I'm sure it'll all work out." Don Juan didn't seem to think that would be in their favor and Dean suspected that might be what he wanted? It was hard to tell. Dean had to wonder, briefly, what the girl must be thinking about the whole thing.

"I should be home the rest of the month, if anything else pops up." It was all he could offer.

---

  

---

Don Juan offered a slight smile and turned his gaze down to his glass of wine. It was a comfort that Dean would be here the rest of the month, however much Don Juan aspired to be the kind of person who didn't always need a support network standing by to handle his various crises. He almost said something to the effect of I'll let you know if she ever writes back, but held back. Would he? Was it a good idea to keep Dean updated on anything that might develop in that area? Don Juan was newly cautious of letting him get too invested in something that might never happen. Partly this was kindness, to prevent Dean's hopes from being unnecessarily dashed, but partly it was self-preservation. If Dean suffered a weighty disappointment, maybe it would make him sit back and take stock of all the things he was sacrificing to be with Don Juan — but really take stock, not just brush them under the rug of romanticism.

"Tell me about your trip," he suggested instead. He picked up his wine glass and turned his attention towards the charcuterie, determined to move the conversation on to safer ground.

---

  

---

MJ made this <3