July 1st, 1894 - Hatchitt Residence

Sloane had been able to spend most of the morning at home. She was desperately trying to force herself to feel comfortable there, but it was hard. She and Alvin had such a fierce disagreement that even after he apologized, she still felt like she was failing. The Sloane they'd known was physically present, but a wholly different person these days and she was wondering if the relief they had felt at having her home, was slipping into some sort of mourning over who she had been. She understood, she felt different too. Things she once loved now terrified her; everybody was sort of walking on eggshells; she could sit still and read a whole book in an afternoon; she was comfortable in company and right about now the only person who didn't look at her like a fragile little flower, was Beatrice Hatchitt and thank Merlin for that. Wally too, she supposed, because though the situations were vastly different, at least they could empathize with being a changed person. Even her situation with Mr. Ashford was a little suffocating, though she needed that connection still, even if she had no idea how it would end.

It was all sort of driving her crazy.

She'd taken to writing things in a journal after finally feeling brave enough to venture into town. She'd gone to the bookstore and picked it up on a whim, hoping that writing everything down would help her at least sort through her thoughts. At the very least she could chronicle her days so that if she forgot something or was having a rough day, she could look back on her own words and get the whole picture. With her mother home now after retiring from the Ministry and Alvin starting his new position, the house had a strange dynamic going on. She'd done pretty well with staying around the house, though had spent most of the morning in the garden, after dinner she felt that familiar tug of needed to be elsewhere and finally gave in to climbing across the tree from her window to Lester's. He wasn't in a the moment, and so she curled up in his bed with the adventure novel she had also gotten at the bookstore and waited for him to come home. He hadn't told her she couldn't do this and so she was willing to test his patience until he set a boundary. It was selfish of her, she knew, but she didn't know how else to handle this yet.

"I think I'm going to go back to my apprenticeship at the zoo." She announced quietly as soon as he closed the door.

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Lester Hatchitt

  

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Half the time, when Lester came home after work, he found Sloane curled up in his bed or sitting at the Hatchitt's kitchen table — it was more likely when he was coming home from a day shift than if he was leaving work in the morning. It was easy to sit with her, even if sometimes he didn't know what to say to the returned Sloane, he still felt like she understood him better than anyone else did — because she had her whole life, and her sojourn to the land of the dead did not make that different.

So he was not surprised to see her when he stepped in his bedroom door. Lester set his bag down and sat down on his desk, as he usually did when she was here — sitting in the bed with her felt like a bridge too far.

"Do you think you're ready?" he asked. The apprenticeship would be good for Sloane, Lester thought — but she was clearly having a difficult time.

  

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set by lady!

"I think I need to start getting out of the house again, or I might go crazy." Her mother hovered sometimes and while Sloane knew she meant well, she needed room to breathe. Her eighteenth birthday was approaching and though considered an "adult" already, Sloane felt like she'd slid backwards in that respect.

Thank Merlin Lester seemed to still understand her, for the most part. Even if he didn't, he was doing a damn good job of making it appear like he did. "It will be good for me to be active again." Flying was out of the question and so therefore she couldn't pursue the quidditch career she had originally anticipated for herself after school. The fact that she'd lost out on her seventh year, her final year of school quidditch and everything else that went along with it was still a sore spot. Fortunately she didn't need NEWTs to continue on with a magizoology career. It was all hands-on, on-the-job training that was most relevant and she had done well on her Creatures OWL.

"It'll put some normal back in my routine." She hadn't said as much yet to her mother, who she wasn't sure was ready yet to let her leave the nest... again, but Sloane was going to spiral soon if she didn't find something to do with herself.

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Lester nodded as Sloane explained her reasoning; all of it made sense, at least on the surface. She needed somewhere to go during the day — something to keep her occupied, that was not connected to her fake identity or hiding in Lester's room.

"There's going to be a lot of people," he pointed out. He was a little worried about how she would do outside of an enclosed environment, with her headaches and everything else she had been through.

  

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set by lady!

"Mm, I need to talk to Mr. Podmore about that, maybe I can stay behind the scenes for a little while and build up to the rest." Surely the summer was the busiest time, but once everyone went back to school, things would quiet down and then the zoo would mostly be caring for the animals instead of hosting a bunch of people from open to close.

She had put a lot of thought into this plan. Quidditch was no longer an option, much as she missed it, and thankfully she and Calla had done this apprenticeship last summer. It was a good, solid backup plan that she could execute with only her OWLs to back her up. Missing out on her last year of school and NEWTs certainly put a damper on her career choices, but Sloane couldn't not work. Even though she enjoyed the social setting more than she had in the past, she was too antsy to truly live the life of a debutante.

"It went well the summer after fifth year, and until everything happened last year. I think I can do it again. I can't go back to quidditch, I can't stay at home all of the time. It's my only option without NEWTs." All of those thoughts just sort of tumbled out, trying to convince Lester (or maybe herself) that this was a good option.

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   Lester Hatchitt

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Lester listened carefully as she responded to his doubts; he was relieved to hear that she'd at least thought things through. And he did think her family would be happy to let her stay at home until she was really, really ready — but it was also clear that Sloane didn't want that.

"I don't think it's a bad idea," he said, "I just don't want you to move too fast." She still got the migraines, she still spent a lot of time holed up in his bedroom — if she did something too quickly, it would probably be fairly bad for her mental well-being. Lester didn't think he'd been ready to go to the hospital when he had, and his intern year had certainly suffered for it.

  

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set by lady!

Any hint of resistance usually had Sloane bristling, but Lester's was mild enough that she didn't feel that wall creep up. She knew everybody was concerned, but it still felt suffocating.

"Maybe I could do half-days or every other for a little while." Give both her and everyone around her some time to readjust. Really she needed to reach out to Mr. Podmore and see what her options were. Sloane just wanted to have an idea of what she wanted before she tried. Something had to give though; she couldn't keep hiding here, she couldn't sit around her house all day idly either. "I'm just going a little stir crazy and I can't do it for much longer." Her fight with Alvin and Rufus was enough proof that she wasn't handling it well and she needed to do something else.

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Lester nodded at her suggestion. "Then you're out of the house but it's not going — too much too fast," he offered. He still wasn't sure about the idea, but when Sloane was committed to something, there wasn't much that one could do to talk her out of it. Also, she wasn't doing very well — maybe a change would be good for her.

  

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set by lady!

Sloane let out a long sigh of a relief. Thank Merlin she could count on Lester to understand where she was coming from. At least he could have a conversation with her about something where she didn't feel constant disapproval or worry. They had been able to talk her idea out and come up with a reasonable sort of outcome that hopefully everyone could live with.

"I think it will work." She agreed with a nod and started to gather her things. His room was her quiet place, but was his more than anything, and she didn't want to intrude for too long. Slipping into her house shoes, she tucked her journal under one arm and her headed for the window. "Thanks Hatch, I needed that." She added with a soft smile.

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