31 October, 1892 — Jekyll & Hyde Masque

Another season come and gone, and no significant change of prospects for either of Ford's two remaining unmarried sisters. Meanwhile: a significant change in their family finances, through all the strain of spending money and new dresses. He'd even "forgotten" to give Grace her spending money a handful of times throughout the season, knowing that she was too conflict-averse to protest. He felt awful about it because he felt as though he were taking advantage of her good nature, and worst of all it hadn't helped in the slightest. So he'd felt some trepidation about the event tonight, even before they'd arrived. They couldn't afford to buy costumes for a masquerade ball. They equally couldn't afford not to be seen at a party that was intended to be a big scene. If Ford's internal dilemma here had voices attached, Noble's would have been the voice opposed to buying new masks while Mama's vied for the party. Ultimately, Mama's had won out.

He had arrived with the family but had volunteered to take everyone's coats to the room down the hallway and meet them back at the party, so when Ford finally found himself in the entryway standing before the house elf, he was alone. There were potions on a silver tray, and apparently Ford was intended — no, required — to drink one. This couldn't be right. Surely his entire family hadn't agreed to something so absurd? Ford could not simply drink a mysterious potion and then walk into a room full of people.

"There will be only one question," the elf was saying, but Ford's face was hot and he was having trouble focusing on the words.

"I need a minute," he said in a rush, taking a step back directly onto the foot of the person who had arrived just after him. "Sorry," he mumbled, hand reaching to tilt his mask up off his face so that he could get a proper breath. "Sorry, I just —"

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Set by Lady!

Tycho was fully out of mourning so was now able to enjoy the season in earnest without much judgement. For impropriety when it came to mourning, that was. He was sure people would still judge him for other things as they were wont to do. Tycho would be lying if he didn't have a sort of perverse delight in it.

He had decided to dress as a raven even though only Ford was liable to understand the deeper reason why. A black raven's mask adorned his face, it's jewels glinting under the flickering light of the jack-o-lanterns. As he arrived, someone stepped back onto his foot. And, well, he would recognize that body anywhere if he was being quite honest.

"Ford! I thought I would have to hunt through masks to find you," he said as if he wouldn't be able to pick out potential Fords by body, mannerisms and movements alone by now. "Are you all right?" Williams had been floating beside him but had shot off after one of his ghostly paramours immediately.

  

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Ford recognized Ty's voice and reached out to grab his arm, clinging to it like an anchor in a storm. Pushing his mask up onto his forehead hadn't helped ease his breathing, but it had made everything a touch too bright, which meant Ford was left blinking at Tycho for a moment and trying to sort out the mess of shadows in his costume. A raven, of course. He might have guessed.

Ty had asked if he was alright, and the truthful answer was no, but he decided to skip over it and jump straight to the explanation. "They're making people drink potions to get in," Ford said while his grip on Ty's arm tightened slightly. He presumed the horror of this situation would be self-evident.

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Set by Lady!

Tycho blinked a little in surprise as Ford grabbed his arm. He was really out of sorts and he understood as soon as Ford explained why. Ford had a thing against potions that altered his mind, if he remembered correctly.

"And they're the kind you despise?" He still said despite knowing that. "And I suppose you cannot just leave because your sister has already disappeared into the event? I could stick with you until you figure out if the potion is one that you will not react well to." He did not want Ford having to do something he didn't want to do though so he was at a bit of a loss as to their options short of yanking Miss Greengrass out of the event.

  

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The bluntness of the question made Ford regret ever having told Tycho about his hesitation surrounding mind-altering substances. As someone who routinely dealt with boggarts professionally, Ford was very aware of his fears and generally didn't mind talking about them, which meant it had been a casual enough conversation at the time. Now, however, having someone call out exactly what he'd been worried about seemed to make it all worse — more real.

"I don't know," he admitted. "The elf didn't say that much about it, but it seems like it. It's — a stupid thing to worry about," he said, mostly trying to convince himself; he was still clutching Ty's arm. "It's probably mild, if they're making everyone take it. And safe. Nice, even, maybe."

This all might be true, but it didn't get to the root of Ford's reticence to take them. He knew people took potions or drugs like this all the time, and they enjoyed them and had no ill consequences. Tycho had probably done some, at some point. The thing that bothered Ford was the idea that for some period of time, he wouldn't be able to trust his own thoughts.

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Set by Lady!

Tycho never liked seeing Ford distressed and now was no different. "It isn't a stupid thing to worry about," Tycho assured, remembering past things like those pink letters and the amortentia tea scandal back in 1883.

"How about this? We stick mostly together and I'll keep an eye on you. If you feel like you have to leave, I can help you find your sister," Tycho suggested.

  

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Ford suspected that Tycho thought it was a stupid thing to worry about, and was only saying it wasn't in order to be supportive — probably so that Ford would eventually relax his grip enough that blood could continue flowing through Tycho's arm. Still, it was nice of him to be accommodating... and particularly gracious to offer to stay with Ford during most of the party. There were certainly more interesting things Tycho could do with his night than babysit an anxiety-ridden Ford, but the proposition was a comforting one. Tycho knew him well enough to know if things were... off. Because that was the thing that was truly terrifying about potions like this: Ford couldn't be sure that he would know if something was off.

"Y-yeah, alright," he agreed, forcing himself to relax his hand, though he didn't yet let go of Tycho. "That's — it's a good idea. And you can tell me it's time to leave, too. If I start saying or doing things that don't — seem like me, you know."

Having obtained these further reassurances, Ford finally pried himself away from Ty and headed back towards the house elf, who seemed to have been watching more of that interaction than Ford would have preferred. The elf didn't launch into the explanation of the potions again, despite Ford having mostly missed it the first time around. He only asked one question: Do you trust your friend? Ford blinked, confused at this. "Of course I do," he answered — honestly, though he didn't know how he could have said otherwise when Ty was right behind him and probably overhearing. "What kind of a question is that?"

The elf didn't respond, but instead handed him one of the two potions from the platter. Ford took it and was once again riddled with apprehension. He shot a nervous glance over his shoulder at Tycho, steeled himself, then took the potion in one gulp.

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Set by Lady!

Tycho smiled as his lover agreed and at least relaxed his hand. Not that he minded Ford clinging to him but there was only so much he could do with that in public like this. "I promise I will do so," he assured when the other man agreed to his idea.

Ford finally released him from his death grip and he followed the other over to the house elf. Tycho was thankfully able to resist the urge to snort as the house elf asked if Ford trusted him. The question that was proposed to him was different than Fords and had sounded more like some sort of riddle.

When it came to his turn to take the potion, Tycho took it like it was a shot glass of Firewhiskey.

That being done, Tycho went through the entrance into the party after making sure his mask covered his face. His own costume was one of the more elaborate ones which personally rather delighted him.

  

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The potion didn't seem to do anything, which did nothing at all to lessen Ford's apprehension about the situation. Tycho was here and keeping an eye on him, which would have to be enough of an anchor to cling to. As he watched Ty take his own potion, though, Ford's stomach did an anxious flip. What if this potion took some time to hit them and it left them in a position where Ty couldn't trust his senses, either? He wished he'd considered that possibility before he'd taken the drink, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He was committed to this, so all he could do was stay by Ty's side and hope for the best.

"I really appreciate this," he said as they made their way into the party. He'd expressed as much already, but he felt he ought to say it again now that they'd made their way inside and the potion still didn't seem to be doing anything, which was making Ford wonder if he'd overreacted. Tycho probably hadn't expected to spend his entire evening keeping Ford from freaking out about something that wasn't even a concern for most people, but he'd volunteered without hesitation. "I'm lucky to have a friend like you," he added, without giving the remark much thought; the sentiment had just filled up his chest and spilled out of his mouth before he'd had time to examine it. But it was true, so even after it was out of his mouth Ford wasn't inclined to consider it too closely.

He found his sisters and reassured himself that they were all doing fine, and Noble was here and was fine, so if he needed to leave (which was seeming less likely at this juncture, but it still didn't hurt to be safe) Ford could smoothly hand custody of the girls over to Noble before he did. He got a drink, not because he wanted alcohol but because he felt awkward being at a party without some sort of prop in his hand. He wasn't keen on the idea of mixing this mystery potion with conventional intoxication, but he couldn't hold a drink all night and not at least sip it, so as the party wore on he gradually made his way through his cup. Ford still wasn't feeling the effects of the potion, at least that he could tell, and no one else seemed to be, either. There were a few questionable choices being made around him, but that seemed par for the course during a masquerade, to be honest. People were always a little more inclined to take liberties when their face was obscured, even if their identity wasn't hidden.

"I feel even more self-conscious about the potion now than I did before," he eventually admitted to Tycho. "Do you think it was just a placebo? Not that I'm complaining about hanging around at your elbow," he added with a brief laugh. "Even if it was just an elaborate joke, I'm more comfortable with you around. I feel safe with you." This last sentence just bubbled out of him, once again from a wealth of feeling that he didn't stop to filter. This had been happening periodically throughout the party, with compliments and sentiments that he would usually have tempered so as not to give too much away, but Ford hadn't been self-aware enough to see the pattern in it yet.

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Set by Lady!

"It's my pleasure. You know I enjoy spending time with you," Tycho said, smiling as Ford called himself lucky. "There would be many who would disagree," he could not resist teasing. At the very least, his reputation for being 'odd' had never seemed to be much of a problem to Ford.

Tycho didn't know what had been in that potion but he wasn't feeling anything. He was feeling his usual, jovial self. Perhaps even more so because he got to hang out with Ford all evening even if the circumstance behind that was not very ideal.

"I haven't really felt anything from it," Tycho admitted. "I am glad you feel that way, it's mutual." Unlike Ford, Tycho had began to notice that his lover had been a lot more forthcoming than usual. Was the potion perhaps something that just let your true feelings out beyond what you would normally filter? Maybe the reason he was not noticing anything in himself was that he personally had minimal filter to begin with? ""Why don't we head out to the terrace? I'm told the view of the gardens is gorgeous."

  

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Ford's face lit up at the unexpected assurance that it was mutual. He bounced on the balls of his feet for a second, and had the urge (which of course he quashed down to nothing more than a pleasant buzz in the pit of his stomach) to lean in and kiss Ty just at the corner of his mouth, in the place where his smile always started. Since he hadn't planned to say that bit about Tycho making him feel safe, Ford had had no expectations when it came to his friend's reaction; probably the most likely response would be for Ty to just brush past the comment and move on. Which might have been what he was doing, since he was talking about the patio now, but — well, if he'd meant it, that didn't fit the narrative Ford had composed about the two of them in his head. And Tycho had sounded as though he meant it.

This thought continued to hum through the back of his mind as he finished off the rest of his drink and followed Ty outside, where Ford slipped his mask off to better breathe in the cool garden air. "Your mask makes your eyes look nice," he commented. "The contrast, I think. They look brighter." He glanced around to see whether anyone was within earshot, and when he noticed that no one was, added: "You're very beautiful."

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Set by Lady!

Tycho smiled as Ford slipped his mask off. He had noticed some rooms didn't allow for your mask to come off and he had purposely steered Ford out of wanting to linger in them. He had felt that Ford would not enjoy being robbed of the option of taking his mask off. He didn't know if Ford had noticed that or not though.

"Well, thank you," he chuckled when his lover said the mask made his eyes look nice. And there is was again; that forthrightness that Ford didn't even really display when they were alone, let alone at a social event. "You know what I think of you, I've written poems of you," he whispered in return before smiling. "Don't panic because it seems subtle but I think the potion had an effect on you."

  

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Yes, but that's different, Ford thought and very nearly said, but Tycho kept speaking and what followed was wholly distracting. Ford's eyebrows shot up, as did his shoulders, immediately on guard. "Oh?" he asked, then lowered his shoulders mechanically — since Ty had said don't panic he was making an effort not to visibly panic, though he'd never had much of a poker face. Although he'd forced his shoulders back down to their original height, the tension didn't leave.

They still didn't know what the potion did — at least, Ford didn't. Ty seemed to have at least a theory. Ford hadn't noticed anything different about Tycho, and he felt like he would have noticed if there were any external effects. He absolutely would have noticed if it had anything to do with appearance; he'd memorized Tycho's face and body a long time ago. So Ty must have suspected that there was something going on inside Ford's mind, which was terrifying. Ford tried to backtrack through the conversation before Ty had suggested going outside, and all their interactions throughout the night more generally, looking for whatever Tycho had noticed that had brought him to this conclusion. Not that it will help, he thought miserably. If magic was altering your thoughts, it was part of the essential premise that you'd never know it. Not knowing what impulse came from the potion and which was actually you all along...

But he raked through the night in his mind anyway, looking for anything that might have stood out to Tycho. They'd been discussing the potion right before they went to the garden, and Ford mentioned feeling safe around Ty. They'd gotten out here and he'd told Tycho he was beautiful. Ford blinked, wondering if the pattern he was seeing now was really what Tycho was reacting to.

"Oh... That's not the potion, I don't think," he said. His relief at (probably) not having any imposter impulses driving his behavior was so palpable that it pushed everything else out; he didn't have the energy to spare to be mortified at how transparent everything he'd said had been, in retrospect. And he was doubly relieved that Tycho had steered him out here to bring it up, even if it had been a bit of a false alarm. Not everyone would have; if anything Ford had said tonight was just a biproduct of magical influence, this would have been an exceedingly awkward conversation, but Tycho hadn't hesitated. This affirmed that trusting Ty had been the right call tonight.

Ford reached to grab Ty's hand, then held it between them so that it wouldn't be easily overseen by anyone passing in the distance. "I'm in love with you," he admitted. "No magic necessary."

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Set by Lady!

Tycho couldn't help the mild amusement bubbling up as Fords eyebrows and shoulders shot up, practically in unison and then the shoulders came down. He felt like he could practically hear the thoughts behind the others eyes as Ford did his best to look relaxed.

Tycho was a little surprised when Ford grabbed his hand. Though he supposed he should not have been considering his theory about what the potion did. He squeezed the others hand gently as the other spoke. His chest felt like a thousand butterflies had just burst within it. Which he supposed could be a medical problem but he was pretty certain it had a lot more to do with what Ford had just said. Tycho had thought he did, hoped for it but it was very different to actually hear Ford admit it.

"I am in love with you, too," he murmured, smiling fondly at the other. "I just think the potion might be making you a little more forthcoming with your words than usual. You're usually quite shy." And that was when they were in private, let alone at a societal event.

  

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Ford might have protested that he was not shy, or he might have reacted to Ty saying the feeling was mutual, but his attention was drawn instead to the middle piece of what Tycho had said. Forthcoming. Ford hadn't noticed as it was happening and he hadn't quite managed to see the pattern in his behavior yet, but now that Ty had stated it plainly it was obvious that he was right. There was no way Ford would have just said I feel safe with you or you're beautiful or I'm in love with you without something external prodding him to do it, even if they were true. And there was a reason for that.

Ford pulled his hand back from Ty's and pressed it against his mouth, as though he were worried something else might unexpectedly tumble out (though what could be more damaging than I'm in love with you?).

"Shit," he muttered, after a beat of merely staring at Ty with wide, panic-striken eyes. "You're right. Obviously. Shit. I shouldn't've — I'm sorry," he fumbled. "I didn't — you don't have to say it just because I did," he finally managed, speaking quickly and letting the words run together. "I know you've got — well, whatever, I mean, it's none of my business, right? But I don't mind," (this was a lie; what would have been closer to the truth was that he'd decided to force himself to not mind). "I'm not trying to like — pressure you into anything, I just — I mean what we've got, that's enough. I'm happy. And I didn't mean to say anything that makes it seem like things should change. I just — Shit."

Ford was spinning himself up, he realized; he was once again thankful that Tycho had led him to the patio, where at least he could freak out without causing a scene. He let out a huff of exasperated breath. "I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend for my sake," he said, rubbing one hand heavily over one side of his face. "Or like you need to treat me with kid gloves to spare my feelings. I knew what I was getting myself into."

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Set by Lady!

Tycho watched as Ford seemed to realize that what he was saying was true. Ford was looking so panicked that for a moment Tycho had to wonder if the potion had been making Ford say untrue things. It had only been his theory that it had been merely loosening up Fords tongue, after all. He could still be wrong. His heart ached at the possibility.

Fords words were only causing him some confusion though. What did he supposedly have? What did he not mind? "Ford, I have lost the thread of what you are trying to say, I am afraid. What is not any of your business? What do you think I have? What could you pressure me into?" If anything, if Ford were to say jump, he would probably ask how high. Albeit with a few jokes thrown in but even so.

"I am not pretending anything. I mean every word I say to you when I tell you my feelings. Unless.. you did not mean any of your words?" That was a possibility and as painful as it might be, he would not want Ford to feel bad about it. You could not help how you might or might not feel about another person.

206 words

  

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