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What she got was the opposite of what she wanted, also known as the subtitle to her marriage.
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Dashing Through The Snow
#1
December 28, 1891 — Selwyn Grounds
The Christmas holidays would be over in just a few days but some festivities were still ongoing. Aristide was still unsure of what he wanted to do for New Years Eve. There was a party that he would be going to with Adrienne that was being hosted by Camilla Prewett. That was all well and good but he also wanted to slip off to spend the last moments of the New Year with Asa who lived in London. The opportunity would be there since the Destiny Hotel was already in London.

He had coerced Adrienne into going riding with him as he wanted to get his mind off things. But the wintry air and ease the twins both tended to ride with only served to allow his mind to keep wandering to the same troubles. He slowed his steed as he turned to look over at his twin.

"Adrienne, have you ever wandered what love might feel like?" He asked. After all, who else could he ask these kinds of questions? It wasn't like he could ask Asa. Well, perhaps he could but that would potentially open Pandora's box and he didn't know if he was quite ready for that.
@"Adrienne Selwyn" / Tilda MacFusty



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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#2
All bundled up and outside yet again. Adrienne wouldn't have minded too much, if she hadn't just been outside strolling around with Uncle Trystan yesterday. The subject of their conversation had stayed with her for quite some time, and she found herself feeling a bit more pensive than usual. So much so, in fact that she hadn't much felt like going for a ride when Aristide had asked her to. Of course, in the end, he'd persuaded her, but she felt rather adrift as the stablehand was tacking up the horse. Even mounting had seemed like she was moving through a fog.

So, when her brother asked her a question, Adrienne didn't respond at first, her gaze fixed at the point between her horse's two ears. But it ended up being the horse who inadvertently alerted Adrienne she'd been asked a question, because the horse's ear gave an involuntary flick towards Aristide and the witch's head jerked up, her gaze refocusing on her brother. "Hmm?" She asked vaguely, now fully meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry, I was miles away. What did you say?" But even as she asked the question quickly, an apologetic expression sliding onto her features, she registered what he'd asked, and her mouth popped open in a slight 'o' of surprise. "Ah!" She exclaimed. "Love..."

Merde what was she supposed to say to that?

"I don't know if I've wondered about that." she admitted, slightly uneasy. It wasn't as if she could fantasize about the man she was going to marry if she didn't have a say in who it was. Aristide seemed to have more control over that - at least he had a few more years; maybe even longer if he wanted to become a Gentleman of Leisure (as if that wasn't his unofficial title already). "What do you think it feels like?" Adrienne returned, her interest now piqued.



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#3
Aristide looked at his sister in mild concern. She really did seem a million miles away as she said herself - but then again, he had been much the same for the past couple of months. He was sure that whatever it was that had her head in the clouds would be relayed to him when she was ready.

His cheeks flushed as Adrienne asked him what he thought it felt like. The answer bubbled up all too easily for him and he couldn't quite meet his twins eyes. How would she feel if she ever knew just who these thoughts and feelings were caused by?

"I think it feels like that persons always the most beautiful person in existence. The sun hits their hair or their eyes and your breath is stolen from you," Aristide said, his mind very much all too easily conjuring the image of Asa Scabior gazing out the window of the train when they had been stranded. "I think it feels like whenever they turn to look at you, nothing else in the universe matters. And you just see everything about them that is wonderful even if they seem to not even see it themselves. That you would know them, even in another life."


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#4
The answer came to her, quick as champagne bubbles spurting forth from a bottle, and Adrienne could only blink as she watched her twin's expression glaze over slightly as he spoke. In fact, she herself found herself slightly mesmerized. Ari had always been an artist, a poet and focused on his music, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to Adrienne that he'd managed to think of something so stunning and picturesque that it might have been unreachable. That you would know them, even in another life...

Is that what love felt like? What she should be searching for? Despite the fact she hadn't been the one talking, Adrienne still fell silent. This was one of the few times that it felt like she and Ari were...out of synchronization. She always felt she was able to tell exactly what he was feeling, what he was thinking, and perhaps it had been her conversation with Uncle Trystan yesterday, but she only felt perplexed at his description.

It made her feel things, sure, but she had never thought of love presenting itself in such a miraculous way. Perhaps it was because she didn't want to expose herself to such feelings given that she'd expected to marry well and that so rarely seemed to begin with love — so why open herself to disappointment?

"That was very beautiful," She commented quietly, focusing on the reins in her hand before she turned to look at Ari again. "Do you think you'll ever feel something like that?" And yet, even though she felt disconnected to him, she somehow felt that this hadn't entirely come from his imagination. No, it felt so much more...emotional than that.



[Image: VIzcNLA.png]
#5
Aristide thought for as moment as Adrienne asked if he thought he would ever feel something like what he had described. For once in their young, mostly shared life, he wasn't sure just how much he should be sharing with his twin. The thought of Adrienne looking at him with any sort of disgust was more than he could bare.

"Probably. Who knows? Perhaps I am just being fanciful again," was all he said in the end though he didn't quite meet her eyes and his fingers fidgeted with the reins in his hands like he usually did when he was trying to hide something from her.



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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#6
Fanciful. Adrienne's attention was fully on her twin now. It was rare that they ever tried to hide things from each other, but Ari was, and she could smell it clear as day on him. If she had any doubts about that, her eyes flickered down to his hands to see —

Whenever he was nervous or avoiding something, he fiddled with whatever was in his hands be it a paintbrush, his lyre, or in this instant, the reins of his horse. Her eyes narrowed slightly. It was so unlike him to hide something from her, yet he never usually did unless it was something deeply personal.

For a few moments Adrienne grappled with wanting to push Ari for answers, but their discussion had just been about love. Was this what Ari was like when he fell in love? She had noticed him being a bit more head-in-the-clouds lately but even with Ari it was hard to tell sometimes. "Ari," She started, still loosely holding her reins so they would keep walking forward. "Ari what aren't you telling me?"



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#7
Aristide honestly didn't know what to say to his twin. He liked to think that she would accept him just as he was. But there was never any way to be one hundred percent sure about anyone. Not even your most trusted companion who had been by your side since literal birth. 

"I don't know if I am ready for you to know. I don't know if I will ever be ready."



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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#8
There was something in Aristide's voice that garnered a spur-of-the-moment reaction from Adrienne. She tensed, her hand jerking involuntarily on the reins and the horse suddenly stepped sideways in response to the confusion signal she'd just given it. "Woah," She murmured to her ride, reaching forward to press a gloved hand on the beast's neck in attempt to step back on their path. But even though she hadn't fully gotten control of the horse again, Adrienne's attention went back to her brother's, her mouth slightly agape. "Ready?" She echoed, blinking as she searched for what possible meaning could come along with that.

But even as she searched for a possible answer, there was a pit of disappointment that had opened in her stomach. There had always been a fear buried deep inside her that one day they would be torn apart; not just physically, as she had always suspected would happen when she got married, but mentally pushed apart. By what, Adrienne couldn't fathom, but that didn't mean the fear wasn't there.

"Ready how?" Adrienne stared at him, wishing they weren't separated by horses so she might reach out a hand to touch his shoulder. But instead, her hands gripped the reins tightly as she fought the urge to swallow.



[Image: VIzcNLA.png]
#9
Aristide glanced over at his twin. He grappled with what to say. She was not an idiot, she knew what the phrase meant. So Aristide knew that she was meaning 'ready how' in that he used to be able to tell her anything without a single worry. It made him feel guilty that this secret was something he was considering keeping even from her.

"Do you think you could love me always? No matter the circumstances?" He asked instead. It was the first and only time in his life that he was unsure and worried as to what her answer might be. Any other time, he would have known he could expect a resounding yes. After all, he had always felt she was the other half of his soul. He supposed that must be typical of twins.


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   Adrienne Lestrange

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#10
Of course. Was almost past her lips until she stopped herself; stopped her horse too, as she stared at her brother. The next thing that jumped to her mind was how ridiculous the question was. Wouldn't she always love him, no matter what? She always figured that even if Ari was up on trial for someone's murder that Adrienne would know the full truth immediately and would have no doubt in her mind that Ari was innocent - or he had a good reason for such an act. It was an understanding between them that she thought would never need to be explicitly said. They would just know.

Adrienne was positive he did know all of this, which was why it gave her such pause. If he was asking this question aloud, then it must mean that it was something worse than murder that he had on his mind. But....even so. They were all each other had at the end of the day. They'd come to Selwyn Manor together, and even though they had grown and changed, Adrienne would never be as sure of anything as she was of how much she loved her brother. How much she would do anything for him. They stayed together, and they always would.

"Yes." She finally said. It was not a forceful response, but a determined one, and a promise. "Yes, I will."



[Image: VIzcNLA.png]
#11
As Adrienne stopped her horse, Aristide did the same. He took a moment to stroke the horses mane as he waited for what Adrienne was going to say. It was foreign for him to not be able to just assume what Adrienne might think about any given topic and whether or not they were in agreement about something.

Her words made him feel like a dead weight had been lifted off of him. There was nothing and no one that could crush him if he still had Adrienne to turn to at the end of the day. He hoped it would always be that way even when she got married.

Making up his mind, Aristide still needed a moment to gather his words. He always had been a little more in his own head than his twin. Aristide also glanced around so as to make sure they were truly on their own before meeting his twins gaze. "I have romantic feelings for someone. Feelings that bring poetry to my world, with a face my hands constantly want to immortalize in art because his face fills my mind when I dream. This person is not of your gender but of my own." There, it had been said. It felt both liberating and terrifying to have the words out.



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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#12
Romantic feelings were not at the top of a list that Adrienne deemed so intense that Ari should check their surroundings to make sure they were alone. But she'd watched him do exactly that before disclosing this massive secret that he'd been holding back supposedly for quite some time. She supposed that she should be too surprised that it had to do with love - that's how this conversation had started, wasn't it?

But then...

Oh...

Adrienne could only blink in surprise at the rest of his explanation. She was first stunned by his description of his feelings, however that wasn't as much of a surprise as the last part. Ari always had a way with words; he could weave entire galaxies with his poetry, had always had a tongue of silver when it came to charming people. But.... "Your own gender..." She echoed; her brain refused to process this in English, and so she slipped into their mother tongue with the rest of her response. "You - have feelings for a man?"

The sun hits their hair or their eyes and your breath is stolen from you — I think it feels like whenever they turn to look at you, nothing else in the universe matters. And you just see everything about them that is wonderful even if they seem to not even see it themselves. That you would know them, even in another life.

Ari had feelings for a man. Someone of his own gender.



[Image: VIzcNLA.png]
#13
Aristide's stomach was in knots as he observed his twins reactions to his words. She was surprised which was a given. It wasn't like same-sex romantic feelings were something they were confronted by regularly. If it weren't happening to him personally, Aristide personally would not have given the matter much thought.

"Yes, intense ones," he responded, also in French. His feelings were so intense that he knew he couldn't just ignore them. Hence this entire conversation.



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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#14
The emotions that swirled in her mind around were too complex to put them down on paper. But of course if there was one person who would be able to pull them from her, it was Ari. Beautiful, handsome Ari, her beloved brother, the one person who she'd do anything to protect, disclosing a secret to her. It shocked her that he had even had a secret to tell, and yet there was a part of her that felt relief. She'd been willing to accept murder (and frankly she still would), but the longer she thought about it, the more it made sense; pieces from their past started to put themselves together like a puzzle, and it felt as if unanswered questions suddenly disappeared. Things were clearer, but it didn't escape her that he'd likely been carrying this for so long, and it pained her to know that he — her twin, the one whose thoughts she knew better than her own sometimes — had to keep this from her.

It was now that Adrienne silently cursed that she was on top of a horse. And so she fumbled with her reins briefly — "Merde." before slipping off the saddle, her boots hitting the snow and scattering it around them as she adjusted the reins on top of the saddle, and looking up at Ari.

"T'es mon frère," You are my brother. "I love you and will protect you however I am capable of."



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#15
Aristide watched as Adrienne slipped off of her saddle. As she spoke, he slipped off of his own. He pulled his twin into a tight embrace, glad to still have her in his corner. "And the same with you, my sister." As far as he was concerned, it was them against the world for always. Even if either were to wed, Aristide was sure he would see things the same way.



italics means Aristide is speaking French

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