The question, while fair, was one Jo had hoped he wouldn't ask, for even now a year after the fact she still hadn't come up with a reasonable excuse. Their relationship might have deteriorated beyond repair but she had little desire to outright lie to him. Omit, avoid, evade, sure. Lie? She didn't think she had the heart for it. The truth would break him though, Jo knew that as sure as anything.

Should she lie?

"No, I ... no." Jo confessed whilst avoiding his gaze. The truth would hurt but a lie would ruin any chance of friendship they could manage. And they needed to be friends for Ilona's sake. "I had thought to rejoin the dig in Venezuela maybe. It didn't work out that way." She hadn't even asked, hadn't had the courage to. Not because Zach knew of it and could find it, but because of her newfound insecurities and weaknesses. Jo wasn't who she once was and to face that then ... she couldn't do it.

Are you? She nearly asked to his last statement. He had moved on with his life, hadn't he? He purchased a new home and established new routines. Zach very well could have even found a new mistress in their time apart, as would have been his right. Jo left, which meant she had no claim to any part of him anymore. "It's good to be back," she said instead, still not quite looking up at him.

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"Ah," he stated, accepting Jo's vague answer without further questioning. A brief wave of concern passed across his face, but it soon turned casual again. Had it not worked out because of the baby? Or her injury? There were so many more queries he wouldn't have been hesitant to ask nearly a year ago. Now, he simply attempted to tread on coals without getting burned.

When Jo didn't glance up, he frowned. Had she only returned to bring him the news of their love child? Without much else to say in response, Zach reached out for his drink and took a long sip, hoping that it would fill some of the silence. Once, he would have reveled in their comfortable silences, each sat in a chair by the fire, noses in their own research.

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

When the silence stretched on without either question nor comment from him Jo began to question whether or not this meeting had been a wise decision after all. A public setting was the safest decision seeing as neither of them could make a scene without eyes upon them. However, that safety also limited the subject matter they could comfortably cover where others might hear. Jo bit her lip as she fiddled with her glass. Yes, this had likely been the poor choice.

Another minute of tense silence stretched between them before she looked up at him. "I should probably head back," she murmured. "Ilona will be looking for me soon." That much was true but it wasn't yet an immediate concern. "I'll write to arrange a time to bring her to you?"

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"Jo, wait. Please don't--" Go. He blurted out, a little louder than he intended, his hand shooting out to gently rest on her forearm. His outburst received a glance from a muggle nearby, but their gaze did not linger. His eyes landed on her, and he searched her face, but for what, he could not say. It was after a few seconds that he realize he had touched her, and he slowly withdrew.

Had she really only summoned him here to inform him of their child, and then disappear? Would she even follow through, or would he be left wondering what the babe even looked like? Who knew how long she would linger this time.

"Jo, why are you here?"

The question dropped from his lips as gracefully as a lead balloon. She could have just as easily moved on with her life and never mentioned a child. He would have been none-the-wiser. Why had she really returned?

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

Jo instantly froze at his protest, her arm locked in his grip. A year ago he hadn't pushed for information or stopped her from leaving. Instead, he was resigned to her departure. Grief stricken and upset, but not enough to protest her going. Whether or not the change was a good one was something she was greatly unsure of.

She settled back into her side of the booth at his question. To her, her sudden reappearance was easily explained by Ilona's existence. Sure, she hadn't involved or even informed Zach of the pregnancy, but it had to be obvious that she wanted to introduce him to their daughter. How could it not be?

"For Ilona." Jo hesitantly replied, her tone more confused than anything. "She deserves to have some kind of relationship with her father."

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The way Jo froze had Zach frowning, and he even further withdrew his arm until it was concealed under the table. "My apologies, I shouldn't have." He murmured in a low rumble. He hadn't meant to appear so forceful, but he couldn't lose her again. It had been a year of replaying their last few moments over and over until he thought he would go mad.

"And I will give that to her," Zachariah replied earnestly. Despite the rift between them, he would see to it that Ilona had a father she could count on. He had watched Hugo neglect to treat his children with any semblance of attention aside from ensuring they made him look good. They resented him. Zach would ensure that would never happen with their daughter.

"But what of her parents? What will they be to one another?" His tone held no malice, and the unaddressed grief that had ruled over their final meeting bubbled to the surface.

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

"It's alright." Her skin was tingling where he had touched her, as if to remind her how much she had once cherished being near to him. It wasn't the bedroom intimacy that she missed but the quiet evenings reading in their respective arm chairs. Jo missed the easy way they'd sometimes hold hands.

Nothing was easy anymore.

Any relief she felt was taken away by his following query. It should've been enough that he had all but promised to be a reliable father to their daughter. Just as she should've been comforted by the fact he came at all. Except, those two happy facts were immediately outweighed by any thoughts of them having a future together. Jo didn't want to believe they could, had spent hours convincing herself that little would ever come from time spent with him again. A friendship, maybe, though a civil acquaintanceship was all she had settled upon to hope for.

Still, his question made it seem like he had a different set of hopes. Like he could forgive and learn to trust her again. Like they stood a chance. Jo allowed what felt like minutes to pass without answering, her eyes wider and her conflicting thoughts obvious in her slightly furrowed brows. It was hope like this that would destroy her when nothing came of them. It was the ignored dream of marriage and a family that would crush any thoughts of a functional parenting relationship. Jo had driven so much of their initial meetings, she had controlled how fast they fell in love. This time she simply couldn't be the one responsible.

Frowning, Jo sadly replied, "I don't believe it's for me to decide anymore."

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"Is it not?"

Zach still didn't quite understand Jo's reasoning for leaving, and it had been an entire year of wishing and hoping he would receive some sort of answer. He had all but given up hope when she had contacted him. In fact, if the letter hadn't been left in his previous flat, he likely would have thought it a prank at first. Not that anyone really knew about them.

To say he was frustrated was an understatement, but, in true Zach form, he refused to allow it to take hold and settled back into being his passive self. He couldn't force her into anything, not even friendship. No, they needed to see how things progressed. See if anything could be repaired.

Was he prepared for the second wave of grief when it inevitably failed?

No, he couldn't think that way. He had to try this time.

He shouldn't have ever let her go.

"I suppose we shall see what the fates decide."

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

No, it's not, she thought to bitterly retort. However, she instead bit her tongue with enough force to taste blood. His comment wasn't made out of hope for their future or a dream of things to come but was crafted from his unresolved pain and questions over why she had left. That alone was a sign that they shouldn't be together in the near future, for any relationship built upon that would inevitably crumble and fail. They had to stay true to her plan — they had to focus on Ilona.

Clearing her throat, Jo brought her hands beneath the table and tightly grasped them together. "There's a lot for us to talk through, I think, and not all of it can be solved today." Leaving their relationship to fate was a laughable idea, as fate had never been particularly kind to them, or, well, her. Between the explosion, her injuries and subsequent crisis, Jo held little belief in fate anymore. "Maybe we should just focus on Ilona for now." Jo then suggested.

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Zach held himself back from replying that they obviously couldn't unpack everything, but he knew that wouldn't make the situation any better. Instead of biting his tongue, he reached out and took another long drink.

Yes, focus on Ilona.

"Is she in need of anything?" He asked, taking the subject change and running with it. His question was genuine, but it was likely apparent that Zach didn't know exactly what babies needed. His nieces and nephews were fairly grown. Even so, when they were infants, he had simply held them and not actually taken part in ensuring that they lived another day.

  

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Of all the items Ilona required, a stable and loving home was the one she needed above all. It was her singlemost largest regret in her failure to let Ilona go. Keeping her had been a selfish and almost cruel decision, but Jo couldn't imagine in that moment never seeing the baby again. Nor could she imagine living her life without Zach ever holding her.

"No, we're alright for now." She sighed. They needed a house and Ilona could certainly use some spare nappies, but Jo wasn't sure they had reached the point yet where she could ask for anything. "She will need to be fed soon though," Jo then continued with a hint of a blush. Nursing was an odd sensation and one that she didn't truly enjoy at that. It was, however, free which triumphed over any feelings she had on the matter.

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At the mention of the baby being fed, Zach nodded his head in his typical fashion until the thought struck him how that likely happened. He immediately found himself looking away as if he suddenly thought she needed privacy, despite the fact that she wasn't about to feed the babe right then. And it wasn't like he hadn't already seen her--

He shook the thought out of his head and turned his gaze back to Jo.

"Well, if you are ever in need of anything that I can provide, please don't hesitate to ask." He gave Jo a look that said he truly meant it. "You have my new address to send and owl. And my floo will always be open to you and Ilona should something more immediate arise." He didn't mention the bookshop as he was certain she knew she could reach him there.

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

She nodded. A long time would pass before she felt comfortable asking him for anything again without an immense amount of guilt, even if it was strictly for Ilona's benefit. Years, most likely. Still, it was a relief to know he still cared enough to support them both. "Okay, thank you." Jo murmured. Obviously, she couldn't offer the same to him without a permanent place to stay.

"Is there a specific day or time you would prefer I bring her to you?" Jo's thought was to bring Ilona over later that evening after the baby napped and ate, but it was presumptuous of her to think he wouldn't have any other plans. Did he still have weekly suppers with his mother? Did Juliana still stop by on occasion? Their lives would take so much more planning now.

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When Jo didn't immediately push away his offer, he let out a breath of relief. It was a start.

"Mother has cut her visits down to the second Tuesday of the month as she has joined a women's group. I do visit her and my father twice monthly, but that won't be for another week, yet." Zach didn't keep many plans these days. He tended to throw himself into whatever shop project he could think of, and then resurface once it had been completed. "I keep my usual hours at the shop, which are flexible." As you know. He added in his head.

"Whenever is most convenient for you."

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3

Despite knowing she wouldn't visit Zach without previously arranging it anytime in the immediate future, Jo still made a mental note of the times he mentioned. Twice a month was manageable, especially if it was only his mother and not his sister. "I hope she enjoys it." Jo said sincerely.

"My schedule is quite open as well. Would you like time to process all this? Would you like us to come by in a few hours? I don't have a preference, I only wish to make this easier for you both."

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"She does very much. It's nice to see her concentrating her energy on something other than her children," The latter was accompanied by a slight smirk. While he adored his mother, she could be rather overbearing, a fact he had spoken to Jo about numerous times.

"I--" He started to say, surprised that Jo would offer to meet him for a second time in the same day. While he would certainly need time to process, he wasn't about to refuse. "A few hours would be just fine," Zach agreed. He also silently came to the decision that he would not return to the shop that day, for he would be an insufferable bundle of nerves while he awaited the meeting.

  

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Pretties thanks to Olive! <3