Ishmael only hummed, the only sign of even considering that. Some vampire honeymoon that would be.
You’ll make a mess of everything, Ishmael had just said to him. But he was wrong: Monty had already made a mess of everything. Being this sentimental over somebody – some paltry human – had never been in Ishmael’s plans. Ishmael didn’t do love, didn’t do attachment, didn’t do regret. And here was Monty – selfish, heedless, remorseless Monty – who had waltzed in and wrecked it all.
“Fuck,” Ishmael swore, mostly to himself, into the shadow of Monty’s answer. “Fuck,” he breathed, furious with himself. He shouldn’t have been thinking about fucking him tonight, while they were still fighting; he shouldn’t have gotten close enough to have drunk his blood. He wasn’t in his right mind anymore, still tasting his blood on his teeth. Ishmael swallowed, willing himself with all he had not to let it slip and failing anyway. “I want you to be with me too.” He glared at Monty as the words tore out without his consent. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.”
You’ll make a mess of everything, Ishmael had just said to him. But he was wrong: Monty had already made a mess of everything. Being this sentimental over somebody – some paltry human – had never been in Ishmael’s plans. Ishmael didn’t do love, didn’t do attachment, didn’t do regret. And here was Monty – selfish, heedless, remorseless Monty – who had waltzed in and wrecked it all.
“Fuck,” Ishmael swore, mostly to himself, into the shadow of Monty’s answer. “Fuck,” he breathed, furious with himself. He shouldn’t have been thinking about fucking him tonight, while they were still fighting; he shouldn’t have gotten close enough to have drunk his blood. He wasn’t in his right mind anymore, still tasting his blood on his teeth. Ishmael swallowed, willing himself with all he had not to let it slip and failing anyway. “I want you to be with me too.” He glared at Monty as the words tore out without his consent. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.”
