July 6th, 1891
Cosgrove, C.
The more I turn it over in my mind the more it seems like the ideal solution. Taking her off of the list before was an oversight, but the abundance of letters with Miss Fawley made me overconfident I suppose (I had always thought wooing a debutante would be easier than wooing a married woman but it turns out the opposite is true — with married women one never need concern oneself with wooing their parents or brothers). The challenge with this situation has always been to find someone who works for two purposes that are somewhat at odds: they need to be young and desirable enough that society is inclined to believe I am actually smitten with them, not merely marrying for a convenient cover for any deviant behavior; and they need to be easily courted and kept, so that the marriage doesn't entire up-end my life otherwise. I was counting on Miss Fawley's naivete to accomplish the latter in her case but the truth was that keeping up that letter exchange for so long was already a little draining. How long might I have been expected to be charming before I could let the ruse drop and resume my usual activities? But Miss Cosgrove presents an unexpected solution to the second difficulty, because she has seen me in exceptionally ill-humor and was not put off. In fact, our exchange of flowers has been quite amusing — perhaps courting her would not be so much of a chore.
She is coming for tea on Friday and I believe time is of the essence for this decision; while Miss Fawley's parents have been circumspect so far they may not continue to hold their tongue if they see me beginning to court another woman, and if my rejection in that quarter becomes widely known it may impact my reputation and therefore my ability to continue with this plan. Quite obnoxious.
In any case:
Pros:
— parents are apparently not so high in the instep that they forbid her from attending Liliana's wedding, so unlikely to be met with a rejection (at least for the same reasons Miss Fawley's parents gave)
— finishing has put her timeline at odds with some other debutantes — she is twenty-one, I believe, which is a more comfortable age for me than the rather childish eighteen, but only in her second season so has not been deemed irredeemably undesirable
— good sense of humor, if the flowers are any indication
— reasonably pretty
— wants to travel (a boon for marriage in either case — if I enjoy her company we can go places together, and if I find her tiresome at any point I might dispatch her abroad for a time and claim work keeps me in England)
Cons:
— may have competition for her affections; I haven't been able to deduce this on such short time
— I am a little concerned that going from our first genuine conversation a week ago to her visiting my house will give the wrong impression (but what kind of wrong impression)?

Lou made this! <3