Elinor Goyle: Emerett Picardy called and he'd like some face time.
Morwenna Skeeter: OK, well, let's see: I'd rather set fire to my vulva, so that's a no.

Justin Ross: Jesus Christ. You know, you do your best, you try to serve the people, and then they just fuck you over.
Balthazar Urquart: Yep.
Ross: And you know why? Because they're ignorant and they're dumb as shit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy.

Edric Umbridge: Macmillan! Hey, listen, settle something for me: You like to have sex and you like to travel? Then you can fuck off.