I keep a spreadsheet of all my characters that has quick facts about them (i.e. what their wand is, their house, the exact years they were at Hogwarts, star sign, star sign, rep etc DON'T JUDGE ME). I was editing this tonight in bed and Chris saw it.

Chris: Wand, 'f*ck you'?
Me: Yeah. It's for my vampire character who doesn't have a wand.
Chris:....
Me: She's very violent.
Chris: ...okie doke *goes back to playing Gameboy*

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Chris: *catches a glimpse of the Diricawl page on my laptop*
Me: lookathis bird it's so cute!
Chris: Is this a magic bird?
Me: It's a dodo!
Chris: Is this a magic bird?
Me: I want one.
Chris: Is this a magic bird?
Me: I want one.
Chris: Okay that's fine then we can get one cause it's a magic bird so they don't exist