Veritable torture, that's what this was. As if she looked well! She hadn't looked well in months - she'd sooner be mistaken for an inferius! Was he trying to cruel or was it a thoughtless pleasantry? Ursula knew it was almost certainly the latter but Merlin did it ever hit her as though it was the former, especially after the words that followed it.
"I'm told he's strong." Unlike her, he'd done this to her, he'd spoiled her thoroughly inside and out. She placed a card down on the table between them. "And you, your children...?" It was better than pained silence but every word was a challenge. I can't do this.
Just then she realized that her hands were trembling. If she wasn't concerned her legs would fail to support her if she got to her feet she might have tried to prematurely excuse herself. Enough! She had to stop and get a hold of herself, it was embarrassing to think how feeble and ill-composed she must seem. He likely despised her after what he'd read since he hadn't reached out and why should she give him the satisfaction of seeing her so wretched?
Ursula leaned the sides of her hands against the table to minimize the unsteadiness and with great difficulty and even greater anguish, forced herself to look him in the face. Her conviction abruptly left her. For the first time since she'd fallen in love with him he truly felt like a stranger sat there across from her. She didn't even know what the talk in society was about him, what he'd been up to, anything. "The truth is, Mr. Pettigrew..." his name felt wrong on her lips, like she was still feverish and longing for the sound of his voice. "I feel certain I know the contents of your hand; your cards are unforgiving, I have as good as conceded the game to you. I keep placing cards down but it is a futile endeavor when I already know that you will immediately best it." It was bold, bolder than she felt, but she couldn't summon up another syllable of small talk unless she addressed the elephant in the room first, painful though it was. "I have no hopes or ambitions, the cards have already been dealt. I suspect I have ruined the game for you now with my frankness, I apologize if that is the case but I did not wish to move on to the next table leaving things unexplained."
"I'm told he's strong." Unlike her, he'd done this to her, he'd spoiled her thoroughly inside and out. She placed a card down on the table between them. "And you, your children...?" It was better than pained silence but every word was a challenge. I can't do this.
Just then she realized that her hands were trembling. If she wasn't concerned her legs would fail to support her if she got to her feet she might have tried to prematurely excuse herself. Enough! She had to stop and get a hold of herself, it was embarrassing to think how feeble and ill-composed she must seem. He likely despised her after what he'd read since he hadn't reached out and why should she give him the satisfaction of seeing her so wretched?
Ursula leaned the sides of her hands against the table to minimize the unsteadiness and with great difficulty and even greater anguish, forced herself to look him in the face. Her conviction abruptly left her. For the first time since she'd fallen in love with him he truly felt like a stranger sat there across from her. She didn't even know what the talk in society was about him, what he'd been up to, anything. "The truth is, Mr. Pettigrew..." his name felt wrong on her lips, like she was still feverish and longing for the sound of his voice. "I feel certain I know the contents of your hand; your cards are unforgiving, I have as good as conceded the game to you. I keep placing cards down but it is a futile endeavor when I already know that you will immediately best it." It was bold, bolder than she felt, but she couldn't summon up another syllable of small talk unless she addressed the elephant in the room first, painful though it was. "I have no hopes or ambitions, the cards have already been dealt. I suspect I have ruined the game for you now with my frankness, I apologize if that is the case but I did not wish to move on to the next table leaving things unexplained."
Thanks to Bee for this magnificent set <3