How surprising to find your advertisement in Witch Weekly, given that you have denounced traditional ideals of love, as you put it, but I find myself in much the same position and empathized with you on reading your entry, so perhaps it was not quite so out of place as one might at first believe. I cannot help but wonder, however, exactly what sort of companionship you seek, if love is not in your future. What type of gothic romance poems have you been reading? Are they the sort where the couples murder one another in a fit of jealousy? By writing to you, am I invite my own untimely death?

Well, I've begun this letter so it seems only sensible to finish; I've nothing else planned for the next few minutes, at any rate. And if you do plan to murder me, at least my death would be rather sensational, I imagine; the poems I've read have always ended with a fair bit of melodrama which the world today can somewhat lack. I would suggest, however, that if finding a suitable murder victim is your ultimate goal, you have your temperament rather backwards: you ought to be kind at first appearance and save the brusqueness for later.

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