The goodbye had been on the tip of his tongue already, but he halted and gnawed down on his bottom lip when Elsie started speaking instead. She... maybe this was just it? The air might as well have been sucked out of his lungs all at once, the way she said it. To think, Tybalt thought to himself, the incredulous laugh ricocheting somewhere inside his chest, unable to get out - to think he had been so determined to do this gently, and then. He'd had a plan. He'd collected up his scraps of hope and patience, and now they were in the wind again.
At Lucinda's, she said. Lucinda, who had forcibly set him spiralling away on this path. Lucinda, who had sounded so sure Elsie would want to marry one day. Lucinda who evidently didn’t know her cousin as well as she thought she did. “Cut out for it?” Tyb repeated, dumbly. Put that way, it sounded like her usual self-deprecation, like she wasn't suited for it, or something stupid. But that was not what she could mean by it, because being married wasn’t something she had to be good at or suited for. All that really mattered was whether she wanted to marry or not, and apparently she didn't, and never would. Not him, anyway. Not even him -
For the first time in a long time, Tybalt wondered if he'd gotten this all wrong, because somehow he had found himself so much deeper in this than she had. How blind could he have been? How could he not have realised this before?
“If that's what you want.” The echo of those words was dulled a little by the shock. Faintly, it occurred to him that quitting quidditch now, after Elsie had already as much as confessed that she would rather give up on them than give him a chance at this, that she didn’t love him enough to - she had no intention of marrying him - quitting now would be a bad idea. “Alright. Okay. I mean, you can't tell me what to do, but. Okay.” Everything he was saying sounded like gibberish, suddenly. Maybe she'd change her mind, if he did. Maybe she wouldn't, and he'd be daft for doing it. Maybe if he just gave it time... He didn't know anymore. He cleared his throat. “Anyway. I should go.”
At Lucinda's, she said. Lucinda, who had forcibly set him spiralling away on this path. Lucinda, who had sounded so sure Elsie would want to marry one day. Lucinda who evidently didn’t know her cousin as well as she thought she did. “Cut out for it?” Tyb repeated, dumbly. Put that way, it sounded like her usual self-deprecation, like she wasn't suited for it, or something stupid. But that was not what she could mean by it, because being married wasn’t something she had to be good at or suited for. All that really mattered was whether she wanted to marry or not, and apparently she didn't, and never would. Not him, anyway. Not even him -
For the first time in a long time, Tybalt wondered if he'd gotten this all wrong, because somehow he had found himself so much deeper in this than she had. How blind could he have been? How could he not have realised this before?
“If that's what you want.” The echo of those words was dulled a little by the shock. Faintly, it occurred to him that quitting quidditch now, after Elsie had already as much as confessed that she would rather give up on them than give him a chance at this, that she didn’t love him enough to - she had no intention of marrying him - quitting now would be a bad idea. “Alright. Okay. I mean, you can't tell me what to do, but. Okay.” Everything he was saying sounded like gibberish, suddenly. Maybe she'd change her mind, if he did. Maybe she wouldn't, and he'd be daft for doing it. Maybe if he just gave it time... He didn't know anymore. He cleared his throat. “Anyway. I should go.”
