“Not as much as I miss you,” Elias admitted, at once. It felt awkward to try and start mending things on Christmas morning – terrible that they had reached this low in the first place. Yesterday he had been half-convinced if they went to the Potts festivities, he would have been just as likely to break down there as Daff might have been overwrought; today he felt close to a breakdown at the quiet in this room, the forced closeness, the lack of all festivity.
And he felt – responsible, for the distance. He had told himself he needed time, and needed space, needed to clear his head alone. But then... it had grown harder and harder to revisit that conversation or the moment, or to comfort her about anything as the nurse insisted on her confinement; and by then Elias had begun feeling convinced he was only adding to Daffy’s stress.
But he had to try. He had said it already, but it felt worth saying again. Necessary. “I’m sorry, Daff. I really am. I never meant to make things difficult for you. It’s been –” he screwed up his face, lost for an adequate word. Hard didn’t seem to cover it, how these last months had been between them. Wrong. He shrugged, his back pressed uncomfortably against the edge of the sofa, and looked up at her – he didn’t know if her eyes had softened at him, or if was just the angle of the soft light on her, from the fire and the tree and dawn creeping through the window. “I want to be there for you.”
And he felt – responsible, for the distance. He had told himself he needed time, and needed space, needed to clear his head alone. But then... it had grown harder and harder to revisit that conversation or the moment, or to comfort her about anything as the nurse insisted on her confinement; and by then Elias had begun feeling convinced he was only adding to Daffy’s stress.
But he had to try. He had said it already, but it felt worth saying again. Necessary. “I’m sorry, Daff. I really am. I never meant to make things difficult for you. It’s been –” he screwed up his face, lost for an adequate word. Hard didn’t seem to cover it, how these last months had been between them. Wrong. He shrugged, his back pressed uncomfortably against the edge of the sofa, and looked up at her – he didn’t know if her eyes had softened at him, or if was just the angle of the soft light on her, from the fire and the tree and dawn creeping through the window. “I want to be there for you.”
look ANOTHER beautiful bee!set <3