This was too much. He couldn’t just sit anymore – he pushed out his chair and straightened up, as if by standing or increasing the distance between them or looking anywhere but Daff that he could stem the miserable tirade coming out of her. He felt more overwrought for even just listening to it, a muscle tightening in his jaw at everything she said about him, and then, particularly, at the remark not easy to love. By then he’d had enough.
“I don’t – I don’t want platitudes, Daff, I don’t want you to –” he interjected, frustrated, waving a hand to mean, say all this. She had voiced things like this occasionally before, and he didn’t like her blaming herself for everything, apologising for herself – and he also didn’t like her giving him all that credit when he didn’t feel very patient or understanding right now. “I just want to understand.” If anything, the more she spoke the less Elias could believe it was sincere: they started to feel like words she had repeated to herself often enough to talk herself into this. Maybe it had followed that she had talked herself into thinking she loved him. She had been heartbroken, and helpless, and perhaps had needed him, or needed someone. She had needed him; she had wanted Noble Greengrass.
And maybe Daff had gotten closure from today. Elias supposed he must have some catching up to do, because to him the situation felt very far from closure. He had imagined the matter closed, and here it was, blown wide open again by one letter – like it was some festering, gnawing thing.
“Why now, then?” he added impatiently, if that was why Daff had gone to confront him. Was it that she was married now? Married and pregnant and supposedly settled? Why was this all still happening in the present? Why on earth had she agreed to marry him, if she hadn’t yet found that closure?
“I don’t – I don’t want platitudes, Daff, I don’t want you to –” he interjected, frustrated, waving a hand to mean, say all this. She had voiced things like this occasionally before, and he didn’t like her blaming herself for everything, apologising for herself – and he also didn’t like her giving him all that credit when he didn’t feel very patient or understanding right now. “I just want to understand.” If anything, the more she spoke the less Elias could believe it was sincere: they started to feel like words she had repeated to herself often enough to talk herself into this. Maybe it had followed that she had talked herself into thinking she loved him. She had been heartbroken, and helpless, and perhaps had needed him, or needed someone. She had needed him; she had wanted Noble Greengrass.
And maybe Daff had gotten closure from today. Elias supposed he must have some catching up to do, because to him the situation felt very far from closure. He had imagined the matter closed, and here it was, blown wide open again by one letter – like it was some festering, gnawing thing.
“Why now, then?” he added impatiently, if that was why Daff had gone to confront him. Was it that she was married now? Married and pregnant and supposedly settled? Why was this all still happening in the present? Why on earth had she agreed to marry him, if she hadn’t yet found that closure?
look ANOTHER beautiful bee!set <3