He took the hunk of bread she’d offered, tearing off a piece and only then realising that he had been quite hungry, after all. When he glanced up from it to murmur his thanks, Eileen was smiling – more gently still, enough that he felt the rest of the tension in his shoulders ease. He and Leeny had never been close the way she and Kieran were, but perhaps Jude had inwardly been worried she would be annoyed by this unexpected turn of events, that she wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t approve. But if she had disapproved of this, Jude fully expected that she would say. Eileen had never been one to hide her feelings on anything, particularly not her disgruntlement (which was often when the boots came out). So maybe – this was fine. Maybe they could still be friends as usual.
More at ease now or not, Jude still couldn’t help the pink flush that spread over his cheeks at my side of the bed. He swallowed a piece of bread before he answered, finding it almost hard to verbalise how he was feeling. He was – happy. Happier than he’d known he could be. (He thought, he hoped, that Kieran was too.)
He was also more daunted than he had ever been.
“Yeah, er, good,” Jude said, embarrassed at her phrasing of the question and more embarrassed at his complete failure to keep his cool about it. “It’s all very – new,” he confessed (new with Kieran; a new arrangement for him, generally). “And it feels... a bit fragile, too? Like I’m afraid it’s too good to be true, or something.” Maybe that was it. He was afraid something would go awfully, terribly wrong: he would do something wrong or say something wrong, or they would have an argument and everything would come crashing down around them. And Jude had never wanted anything so badly, and he had scarcely had time to let it sink in. He – wasn’t ready to lose this yet.
More at ease now or not, Jude still couldn’t help the pink flush that spread over his cheeks at my side of the bed. He swallowed a piece of bread before he answered, finding it almost hard to verbalise how he was feeling. He was – happy. Happier than he’d known he could be. (He thought, he hoped, that Kieran was too.)
He was also more daunted than he had ever been.
“Yeah, er, good,” Jude said, embarrassed at her phrasing of the question and more embarrassed at his complete failure to keep his cool about it. “It’s all very – new,” he confessed (new with Kieran; a new arrangement for him, generally). “And it feels... a bit fragile, too? Like I’m afraid it’s too good to be true, or something.” Maybe that was it. He was afraid something would go awfully, terribly wrong: he would do something wrong or say something wrong, or they would have an argument and everything would come crashing down around them. And Jude had never wanted anything so badly, and he had scarcely had time to let it sink in. He – wasn’t ready to lose this yet.
